Engagement Party turned Wedding

Can't you just call it a small informal wedding? Have you thought what you want as part of this -- like professional photography?

It seems best to let people know it is the wedding so they can decide accordingly -- to give priority to attending.

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We are also thinking of a small wedding. We just thought an engagement party turned wedding would be a fun surprise. We have a friend who will photograph, no dj needed as long as venue has ipod hookup.

The biggest downside of a surprise wedding is that most people won't prioritize attending (especially if travel is required!) any pre-wedding party the same way they would a wedding. So, if you can accept that some of your most important people may not be there, AND accept how hurt they might feel once they learn what really happened, then go for it.

If any of that sounds too risky, just own your completely legitimate desires for a simple wedding and plan the event you and your future spouse want. It is absolutely possible to plan "something small with close friends and family without the pizzazz of a wedding" without having to trick people.

My friend just attended a surprise wedding and she was very thrown by the whole experience, she felt like everyone knew but her. I don't think it came across as cute as intended.

The biggest challenge is that engagement parties are only common in selected pockets of the country and not others. If you are in an area or social circle where they are not done, you may not get the turnout you hoped for, and they are often only attended by local guests. Those who wanted to attend your wedding will be upset because they didn’t have advance notice and you can’t do it over. Unless you truly don’t care that loved ones will be hurt by not being able to attend, because an engagement party doesn’t hold the same weight or priority as a wedding, then go ahead with it. If you want loved ones to attend, be honest with them from the start because lying to guests never ends well and people don’t take kindly to that type of surprise.

I have attended 2 "surprise" weddings. Both were a lot of fun and guests were all excited about the surprise! As others have mentioned, the main potential downfall of this plan would be that you may not have everyone you'd like there. People will prioritize attending a wedding more than attending an engagement party. That was honestly the only negative aspect I heard of the surprise weddings I attended - that the couple was bummed certain people weren't in attendance. But other than that, everything was great! Maybe you could include in the invitation that the couple will be revealing a "big announcement" at the party, to entice people to attend. Most likely, people will think you are announcing a big move or a pregnancy LOL