Employer canceling wedding time off!!

Look at your employee handbook and reach out to HR.

Do you have your vacation time off in writing?

An employer usually has the right to cancel leave for mission needs no matter when it was approved. I imagine they will be sympathetic to your wedding, but, I doubt it's illegal. At my office (govt), use or lose leave can be reinstated if mission needs forced planned leave to be cancelled.

But it doesn't sound like your employer has tried or mentioned cancelling your leave yet, you're just worried about it. How much time did you request off? Are there flights/travel involved?

Personally, I honestly just wouldn't show up - which is probably a horrible idea so don't listen to me haha

I would discuss your concerns with your boss and his boss if necessary and see what you can do to work ahead

What Stephanie said....bring up your concerns to your boss immediately and if there are any flights/hotels involved explain this to your boss....exceptions are always available and if you put in for this time almost a year ago, you may be considered one. There's no point in stressing out about it UNTIL you hear a negative answer.

I agree with JK, see what you can do to be proactive instead of reactive.

Indeed, what everyone else said. Talk to them, talk to HR, and cover your ass. You may just be SOL though.

They tried to do this to my DH. They had fired the GM, leaving only 2 managers to man the bar he works at and corporate came in and asked him a few times, "Hey, when are you getting married?" (this was the first week in October).

Finally, Dan with corporate asked him, "Hey are you taking a honeymoon?"

"Uh. Yeah. Right after."

"But when do you fly out?"

DH kind of snapped a little bit and said, "Look. I already put my PTO in. Firing Soup was your call, not mine. I'm getting married and I'm going on my honeymoon."

DH hadn't used a single sick day or PTO in the year and a half he'd been there and when they offered him the job, he told them several times that he was getting married and would need a lot of time off. Sometimes, they try to strong arm you. Just don't be as passive about it as they are.

When did your boss find out about this project? If it was in the last two or three days, I can see why you would think he might approach you about forfeitng your vacation time. However, if it's been a few weeks, I would think he would have already spoken to you. You are getting married in about five weeks, and it would be nice if you had some reasonable notice.

There is no law that says an employer cannot revoked previously approved vacation time -- even if you've already spent money for airfare or resort deposits. However, asking someone to forego their honeymoon is asking a lot. If he does ask this of you, try to work out a compromise. If you have non-refundable travel plans, mention that to him and see if the company will reimburse you for those losses. You might also ask if you could at least take the day after your wedding off. Losing one day shouldn't derail the project.

I would approach them now - asap. Tell them you are getting married you have requested xyz and how they may feel this will impact you. I would ask what you can do ahead of time or even now to prepare and do what you can, but that you will need the time off that you requested and were approved for. You aren't just taking time off to have a staycation or be home to lounge around for the Holidays - you are getting married and that takes time. Honestly if you were working your performance would probably be down anyways. If you are proactive about this now it will ease your mind (possible) about what will or will not happen next month. Also, since you've been with the company 3 years it's not like you are brand new and trying to get out or something. But, like I said I wouldn't wait any long to discuss with your boss

They definitely need to reimburse you if they cancel your time off and you lose money on your plans.

Make sure you keep all receipts.

I also will give you the poor advice of either not showing up or just quitting. Realistically, you can talk to HR if you can't come to a resolution with your supervisor. You shouldn't have to use sick time.

Are you guys crazy? Quitting? Just not showing up?

Responses to your questions:

-I talked to my boss, and he is sympathetic but the directives are coming from about 4 pay grades above him, so he doesn't have much choice. He's a nice guy, don't get me wrong. In fact, we invited him and his wife to our wedding so we have a good working relationship, but his bosses have bypassed his authority to get me on the project.

- we knew about the project since mid October, but as we made good progress (I was trying to prepare and do work ahead to allow for my time off), the big bosses caught wind of that and moved the deadlines earlier, which happens to be during my time off

- yes, I have approval in writing from back in January, but the company reserved the right to cancel it at any time for any reason, and if you don't use it by 12/31, you lose the time.

Looks like you aren't going to be able to go on a honeymoon right after your wedding then and have to start taking some long weekends to use up that vacation time.

The "advice" you're being given about quitting or just not showing up is completely ridiculous and asinine and the worst I have ever heard...voluntarily leaving your job to go on a vacation to come home only to have to look for a job is the dumbest thing I've ever heard...not to mention put a damper on the honeymoon as I'm sure it will always be in the back of your mind.

Talk to your FH and schedule a honeymoon after the completion of this project.

Yeah seriously people get some perspective. A wedding/honeymoon is not more important than your career. It sucks, but you'll just have to move your honeymoon.

Couldn't they start the project earlier? Or even later? Like after you have returned?

Also: we're getting married on a Sunday, so it's not like they're going to take that away, but may make me give up my "mini-moon" in a local resort and give me enough work to force me to do 70+ hour weeks from now until the new year. We already have client presentations scheduled for the week of Christmas, so while they haven't said explicitly that I have to attend, I'm the only one on the project. I've already asked for someone to fill in for me, and I've offered to prep them. I sent the email yesterday asking what the schedule meant for my vacation time, but I haven't yet heard a response. I'm getting a little nervous...

I'm definitely not going to quit, but I may end up being on call during my wedding AND because my wedding is on a Sunday, I'd have to hold back on drinking and go to bed by 10 on my wedding night :/

Maritza- They did start early, and I was trying to work ahead to avoid conflicts, but they changed the deadlines waaay ahead when they heard I was ahead of schedule. The deadline was supposed to be mid January