Eloping and postponing big Wedding- will it still be special?

I was able to have my bridal showers but had to cancel our bachelorette/bachelor weekends. Honestly I’m fine with that...we’ll have them at another time and they’ll just be called “friend weekends” or something. We still got married on our original date last weekend(April 25), but postponed our big wedding to September. I’m so happy we chose to still get married because our date is special to us. As of just a few days ago, we are postponing the big wedding AGAIN. We don’t have a date yet but it will be in 2021. We’ll have a vow renewal ceremony and everything and I know it will be just as special as we had intended. When we got married I didn’t wear my fancy wedding dress, mostly because it’s still at the bridal shop in the middle of alterations. But I will wear it next year and I think that helps with making it special since my husband hasn’t seen it. At least for me, no one is upset we chose to marry on our original date. All we have been hearing is how people are so excited to celebrate with us. As a guest, I wouldn’t miss out on a party with free food and drinks regardless if you’re already married. And if people are upset that you’re already married, are they really the type of people you want there? People who care about you should be happy for you no matter what.

View Quoted Comment I couldn’t agree with you more! We are also planning to get married on our original date next month and having the vow renewal next June. I think it will be just as exciting because we get to have the celebration with family and friends like we’ve been planning for the last year. We are ready to be married and we won’t let people’s opinions ruin this for us. Like you said, if people are upset about it then do we really want them around? Nope!

I total understand the feeling I’ve have dat set since December both me and my FH are college students and he’s an athlete. It’s no rush but we don’t want it to fall waist side and then Boom life happens. It all depends on you and you’re FH don’t feel like your settling if you do it now just go with your gut feeling.

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I'm doing a very similar thing. We have a pastor that will officiate our wedding in a beautiful park near the water on 5/9! There will be witnesses, photographer and possibly some close family that will watch from afar. I'm still nervous about our rescheduled reception in August, but at least I'll be married to my love and everything else will fall into place.

Girl, I am doing the exact same thing as you! Our family and friends have been so supportive and have also expressed a lot of excitement for our "Big Wedding" in 2021! One of my bridesmaids even remarked that it might be even more emotional of a day because of the individual difficulties that we and all of our guests will have overcome by that point. I think she's right! To keep things special, my FH and I are not going to use our actual wedding rings until the big ceremony next year (the lockdown started for us the week we were supposed to go try rings on... lol). I'm even considering not changing my name until after the big wedding! It will be a special day and an even sweeter celebration!

That’s what we’re thinking about doing for our July wedding. Have a few family and dinner and then a party next year. Bright side...I wear my dress twice. Downside...I’m also self conscious that no one will care as much! Maybe jags just our insecurities talking! You’re not a lone in that feeling

View Quoted Comment I totally get that ppl wouldn’t go after eloping and then having a party after. My sister did that and it left a bad taste, but I’m wondering if circumstances of the pandemic would change people’s minds and opinions about attending

Even before all this craziness people were doing two separate ceremonies/events. I have several friends that for one reason or another had to have a small civil ceremony first and a big wedding later. Everyone enjoyed the later events and considered them as real as if the civil ceremony hadn't taken place. Actually, in several countries it is the norm because legally the couple can only get married in a civil ceremony and if they want to have religious ceremony it has to be done separately.

I think it will still be special. I’m in the same situation as you. My fiancé and I decided to postpone our August 1st wedding until September of next year (dates are booking up fast and that’s all they had available).
I felt just like you. We plan on eloping and keeping our date and at first I was concerned that it wouldn’t be special. But after days of sleeping on it I’ve completely changed my mind. My family completely understands that we aren’t “eloping” by choice but because we’re choosing to not let this virus interfere with our plans to marry. At the end of the day marriage is the ultimate goal and we can’t let the details of a wedding stop us. Our wedding next year will just be as special if not more special because after waiting and all the effort we put in we finally get our magical moment. Walking down the aisle, our first dance, none of that changes. Only difference is we said our vows. We still didn’t get to celebrate and I think your guests will understand that especially because of the circumstances since it’s our of your control. If anything it should make them even more excited to finally celebrate with you because your love deserves to be celebrated! I look at it this way. I’m excited because I get to marry my best friend twice. How lucky is that?

Our family has been amazing and supportive - basically we were told go get married to each other and then get married to the extended family. No one is traumatized and no one is refusing to come. At this point, our guests are basically considering it a challenge. lol! Your mood and attitude will make all the difference in how this is approached. We already announced in an email to all our guests that we are having a private ceremony just us and our sons. And the big wedding is still on... And they are totally up for it! Have fun with it! Make it a challenge. All will be well - and if you can't get on board don't do it. My advice is to do it your way!

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This is such a great perspective!

For any brides on here doing this (our date is 5.30.20, same as the OP and we are thinking we will elope then - weather permitting because we HAVE to be outside for safety) how are you going to change your wedding ceremony that happens later? Are you thinking you'll say the same vows or new ones? Will you exchange gifts instead of rings? Are you going to walk down the aisle together or do a traditional procession? Will you greet your guests (since you don't have to hide your look from your husband)? I'm just worried about making both events unique, special, and appropriate. I hate the term vow renewal and will not use it - next year will be our wedding because we couldn't have one this year and had to elope instead. I just know that the ceremony should probably look a little different since we will already be married and wonder what sort of creative ideas people have!

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We just "eloped" on Saturday in a local park! The ceremony turned out way better than I could have imagined because the pastor we hired from here (Best Day Ever Officiant) personalized the whole ceremony to our story and made it so fun. My siblings were there and my husband's parents. I wore my dress so it all felt like a real wedding, without the stress of 100 people looking at you.

We haven't decided yet on all the details for our August reception, but this is what I'm thinking we will do:

We will not do vows again, but I think we will still have the officiant say something special and maybe pray over us. We are going to keep the ceremony part to a minimum since we already did that. We are going to still do the traditional procession because no one walked me down the isle on our wedding, so I'd like to still have that happen.

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My husband and I were married in a very small backyard ceremony on our original date (3/28). That in itself was unique because it was a random friend officiating, only had 2 witnesses in person (everyone else on Zoom), and was pretty brief with just a touch of Jewish tradition, whereas our postponed celebration will include a full out Jewish ceremony with our rabbi. So I am not planning on changing a thing about the "big" day, I want it exactly as I envisioned it when initially planning Not to downplay the day we actually got married, but I purposely scaled back on that ceremony. It was still a lovely day, intimate and emotional, but I am saving the traditional, really beautiful moments for when all our family and friends can be there.

Additionally, I have gotten such supportive feedback from our guests! They were so happy that we decided to still get married, and really cannot wait to gather and celebrate when it's safe to do so. I agree with another post that it might even make it feel even more special after everything we've been through to get to that day.

So tonight we have finally gone ahead and made the decision to do the same. My plan is to make both days special by making elements different. This was I get to experience two different styles of wedding. For our mini civil ceremony I plan to wear a short dress, different hairstyle, and keep it very simple--perhaps one reading. Since family can't be there I want to leave the larger ceremony with traditional elements and personal touches for when we can celebrate with everyone. For the second wedding I will wear my big dress, my parents will walk me down the aisle and I will have a wedding party etc. I have been toying with getting a second ring so that each will be associated with a different ceremony. We were going to do silicone rings so they aren't very expensive and I just saw a new design that is pretty.

You can still have your bridal shower, bachelorette party and celebrate your wedding. There is no right or wrong way to have a wedding or be married. Do you and be confident in your decision!

I’ve had a hard time with this as well. I’m doing better now but I was not okay a few weeks ago. I really struggled with this. Here’s the thing, you do whatever you need to do to feel married, whatever that looks like. We are having a small ceremony now, not ideal when you hear the whole ordeal but we still want to be married on our day and that’s what we are going to do.

The only thing that matters is that the two of you are happy. I wanted to keep my original wedding date but opted to push out instead and now I'm praying that there aren't anymore interruptions.... I had a bridal shower that had to cancel but I'm totally cool about having to do so; the health and wellbeing of those I love is far more important to me and I didn't miss it at all... Congratulations to you both...

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I came across your comment and I'm laughing because we think the same!! I am also weird with dates. 2021 just sounds weird and looks ugly to me 😂 How I am with dates is the main reason why I chose to have my wedding on June 20, 2020. What a beautiful date 😆 haha. But sadly, I had to postpone my wedding. However, I just could not settle on picking another date to be married on, so FH and I decided that we are going to elope and be legally married on June 20, 2020 (this Saturday!) because that's the day I want my anniversary to be on and that's the day I intended to be married on. Now we are having our wedding celebration on October 16, 2020. I have full confidence that by October things will be looking better, so I think you should feel okay about your date! I live in Southern California, and most of my family are starting to gather together and do things. I think people are just over it already and can kinda see through the BS lol.

View Quoted Comment Oh my gosh! Lol I really thought I was the only one because I would try to explain to my family & friends and they would just look at me crazy! I’m glad someone knows exactly what I’m talking about!
But CONGRATULATIONS!! So happy for you guys! We are actually eloping on our original date as well this year just with intimate family! I had to keep our date and did NOT want that 2021 anniversary date lol. We will do a year vow renewal/redo wedding next year on oct. 23rd and do a ceremony and reception. As sad as it may be that we couldn’t have control over this situation, this outcome is probably the best & less stressful! And we get to marry the man of our dreams no matter what! But extremely happy for you & best of luck with the rest of your wedding planning!

It really sucks to have to do that but i think especially with COVID people will understand and probably appreciate you postponing your larger event for everyones safety. and because of that i think your friends and family will be even more excited to celebrate with you next year