Eloping after a Breakup

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Personally I don't think it would be a great idea. If he was so adamant the grass was greener on the other side whose to say he won't feel that way down the road again? A relationship and especially marriage is working through those things and discussing the things that he doesn't like instead of thinking well theres got to be something better. As a woman if a man ever did that to me I would be like "You know, you are right. I'm sure there is something better out there. For me, because I deserve better than that."

I feel if he needs to do this to show he is all in he should see a counselor to make sure he is really all in. ( I flash to Gilmore girls whenever I type that)

For me personally, if someone told me that they were wondering if there was someone else out there more suited to them.... that would tell me everything I needed to know...

I would say never be someone's back up plan or option. Be someone's priority.
Be with someone that can't live without you and would never let you go without fighting for the relationship.

He may just be scared that he won't find anyone that treats him the way you do....not saying this to be mean, but most people don't like change....when things are uncomfortable in their new way of life, they run back to something familiar.

Love is a wonderful thing....but, you deserve to be loved completely and fully with no hesitation.

I don't know you, but I'm giving advice I'd give to myself or my best friend.
Lead with your head, not your heart. Let his actions show you not his words...and this will take time for him to build up trust again.

Eloping would be exciting and fun...but then what happens when the same problems arise( and they will) marriage doesn't fix things...

I'd much rather a break up than a divorce.
My advice let him date you..
Don't move back in. You are in control. If you were my child, sister , or friend I would advise not to elope.

If you are meant to be together forever, then it will work out.
Don't be hasty let it unfold.
You may find that you don't need him and he wasn't the one that was meant for you. You will find yourself in the process and with time you can step back and view things easier. Right now you can't see beyond your pain.

If he is your forever he will understand you not wanting to rush.

I'm sending prayers and well wishes your way....ive been there.❤🙏

View Quoted Comment I think this is more complicated than can really be answered here. My FH and I went through some very rough patches, and I know for a fact that things can look awful and then turn around and be wonderful. BUT that turn around doesn't happen overnight, it takes serious time and effort, and eloping is not going to fix your connection. I think personal counseling for you is an absolute must, to help guide things for a while as you continue to reconnect with him. Counseling for him as well, because it sounds like he would benefit from learning better coping strategies and ways to manage stress: running away due to cold feet is not a way to deal with stress or uncertainty, you need a partner who can manage future hardships by standing at your side. If he's serious about commiting to your relationship, agreeing to go to either personal or couples counseling is how he can show you he is committed to put things back on track.

I am not saying that we are in the same boat, because we are not. In the past, once a relationship was done, there was no going back. It's kind of a rule that I had. And a pretty good example of this would be one of my crazy ex's who proposed AFTER I left him. We had only dated 5 months and I did not see any kind of future with him. He proposed in an attempt to win me over, thinking marriage was what I wanted. Sure, but not with HIM It was a pity party from that day on.

Now fast forward to my relationship now. We've been dating since 2012. After more than 4 years together, we broke it off. At the time, our relationship was in a rut and we needed time to figure things out for ourselves. This was a mutual decision that we had made. We spent a year and a half apart, only catching up occasionally over text. I knew right away that I had made a mistake and tried to get him to come home. But he wouldn't. He knew he needed this. A year and a half went by and slowly he started coming around again. Things went from "how's the dog?" to "how are you?" and then to "what are you doing tonight?" We started going to dinner and movies and built a new bond together. He moved in a few months later and 10 months after that, he proposed. Something I have waited these 7 years for. I never left his side, no matter how far he drifted. I think the time apart was good for us, regardless of how difficult it was to want something I couldn't have. I say take some time for yourself and if he is still around 6 months from now or a year from now, then he might be serious about you. If he runs for someone else's attention, you'll know his idea to elope wasn't thought through clearly. Good luck and take care of yourself!

Go with your instincts. You've gotten a good bit of advice, either way, on this forum, but do what resonates best with you. Trust your instincts...they're there for a reason.

My FH and I broke up and stayed separated for about 5 months. It was a miserable time for us both and we ended up getting back together. We committed to talking more, making more time for each other, and going on dates more often. It's been great and I think we're closer than we'd ever been before.

I want to elope next year but he wants a full wedding. We may just meet in the middle and have an intimate ceremony next year. I don't think we would have been ready to jump into marriage so soon after getting back together. I know, at least for me, I was guarded for the first couple of months. I needed time to feel safe again...to let my heart heal.

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From what I read, it seems he is not ready to commit. Be careful he may try again