Elope and then have a reception two years later?

Have your brought up your various options for marrying each other and celebrating that marriage? Are parents willing to contribute to the wedding? Are you okay with that happening? I just am suggesting that parents may want to help pay the cost so everyone can celebrate at the same time -- even without you asking for assistance. Of course if that is not practical for them to help, then you have to work out the finances yourself. But the other reason parents pay for the event is to celebrate with friends that they want there. So I hope it can work out best for everyone.

Its so tough to decide what to do!

I'll be completely honest here, I know 3 couples who have gotten married privately and said they would do a big wedding later and none of them ever did. I know 1 couple who got married last year and might do a big wedding next year but nothing is booked yet.

Life will always get in the way! And once you're married, the wedding starts to feel less important than things like cars, a house, kids, etc.

Really only you can answer your own question. If the big wedding is really important to you, then you have to commit to that being the priority whether that is now or in the future! There isn't a right or wrong way to do it, but make sure you really think through what is most important and weigh all your options. Good luck!

(If it were me in your situation, I would plan a "big wedding" at a closer to home and cheaper venue and do it sooner!)

I'd read the room. If people around you are asking questions about an upcoming wedding and in general showing an interest, consider putting together something more official.

If it's crickets, I'd honestly just elope. The other replies ae correct, later weddings never really pan out and usually get a tepid response from guests. Focus on maybe a five or ten year anniversary/renewal of vows to have the celebration you want, that comes part and parcel with a renewed interest from loved ones.

You and your fiance should discuss whether you'd realistically still want to prioritize a reception after two years of marriage. In 2020, when COVID forced couples to modify their wedding plans, some couples chose to elope and postpone their larger reception until after the pandemic (in some cases, 1-3 years later). Afterwards, many of those couples reported feeling like they lost excitement for their reception, since so much time had passed in between their legal wedding and their reception, and new life priorities (houses, children, cars, etc) were now their focus. Some chose to cancel the larger reception altogether. Because of all that (and especially since you said you both really want to do all of the traditions), I recommend not having a two year gap between the two events, and instead either plan the reception for sometime close to the date you elope, or do both the ceremony and reception on the same day. Since you mentioned that finances were a concern for your 2026 date, one thing you could do to reduce costs is reduce your guest list (if you haven't sent Save The Dates yet).