Editing Speeches

I think this is overboard. No one is going to be reading the toasts/speeches except the person giving them. Good grammar isn’t required for a nice toast. Just tell anyone who’s giving a toast to keep it short and to leave out embarrassing stories.

No, I have never heard of this and think it sounds too controlling. At that point you might as well write what they will say about you. I think it is fine for you to give parameters (e.x. don't mention that night I got wasted. . . etc) and to limit the time (please no more than 2 minutes), but anything more seems too much. Also, it is a good idea to not only limit the time, but the number of speeches (technically these are toasts, not speeches) as well. I think no more than 3 is a good number for the wedding and if others want to say something they can at the rehearsal dinner.

I agree with Earias. Guidelines are okay, demanding to read and edit the speeches is kind of overkill.
What would you do if somebody said "here's what I'm saying" but gave a completely different toast the day of?

I wouldn't ask people to give speeches if you are going to edit it for them.

That's kind of rude and now you will know exactly what your friends and family are going to say before they say it... Not everyone has good grammar and shaming them in advance for potentially saying something incorrectly / spelling it incorrectly/ wording something in a different way than you would have is going way overboard..

I've done several speeches at weddings and never have been asked to see what I wrote or even asked what I was going to say. If you are worried about someone saying something, just mention it to them to not talk about whatever it is you think they're going to say. I feel being able to make a speech is an honor and a way of saying something special to the couple and their guests. Not only would it be insulting to have to have a speech proofread, but it would ruin the moment and emotion involved. If you don't trust your family or friends to make an appropriate speech, don't have them.

I think this is a bit much. I’m sure your family and friends are capable of giving a nice speech. You can’t control someone’s grammar and nobody is really going to care. If you are worried about someone telling an embarrassing story then ask them to refrain from doing that but asking to read them and edit them is kind of rude. If you don’t trust them then do ask them to do a speech.

It's overboard. If you want them to be able to give a speech they should be able to say what's in their heart and not have have it approved. It's controlling and for me it would cause me to not want to give a speech

This would really rub me the wrong way... I’ve shared toasts twice at weddings and I never wrote the speeches down. I practiced them before hand, but also wanted to have s chance to read the room and speak from the heart. Having thoughts that are so deeply personal screened and edited would really take a lot of the meaning out of the experience.

Wait! Was it also part of your "bridesmaid contract" that they give you editing rights? If not, this isn't typical.

This feels like crossing a line. I wrote a speech for my best friend last year and I wouldn't let her see it. The point is to share a message from the heart to the couple. All of the magic and love is somewhat diminished if the words aren't from your loved one. No one will care if someone says "ain't," but your friends/family will care that you don't trust them enough to tell you that they love you and wish you the best without your help.

No grammatical mistakes on a speech - because you know ppl will absolutely know if they spelled their using the wrong there....

View Quoted Comment I was gonna say that too, lol

There is no guarantee that when the time comes they will say what they wrote..........in fact I think this demand would almost be a temptation to absolutely NOT follow a script.

This is some serious overstepping. If you are afraid your friends will embarrass you, don't ask them to give a speech. Grammatical errors in a speech is a pretty long stretch too. Guidelines are perfectly acceptable but this seems like too much and pretty rude too.

Coming from an English major, I understand the need to be all over grammatical errors. However, I would say that this is a bit extreme. The speeches need to be sincere and reflect people's personalities. Just make it clear that you would like for them not to embarrass you because it is not funny. No one will see the grammatical mistakes because it is their speech. Just take a deep breath and let this one flow...

View Quoted Comment

I agree lol

That's a bit extreme. Sounds like you're micromanaging them. As others have said, just tell them no,embarrassing stories if you think it's an issue