Dual Language Wedding Advice

I went to a Persian wedding a couple of years ago, and as a non-Persian I understood everything and thought it went well. I think the most important thing is finding an officiant who can explain things while not getting too bogged down in the details. The officiant talked about the various customs as he went along, and alternated between English and Farsi.

That said, I'm troubled that the bride and groom argued over a bilingual ceremony. I think under the circumstances a bilingual service would be expected, not a surprise.

I think it was on 90 day fiance (totally bad reference but anyways).. The girl said her vows in Spanish (or whatever her language was) and the guy said his in English. I think provided the other knows what is going on/being said it shouldn't be an issue at all.

My FH is from Portugal (mind you came her like 20 years ago) but his parents speak very little English. If he asked me to incorporate some Portuguese things in to our ceremony, I would be all for it. Would make the wedding more unique and special, not one of those cookie cutter ceremonies.

I 100% agree with shannon regarding the officiant as well.

@Shannon - Thanks! That is a great idea. I suppose a lot of it does depend on how the officiant handles the various customs/languages. I'm glad to hear that you still thought the ceremony went well with both languages being spoken. My friend, I think, is afraid it will be too overwhelming and confusing for the English-speaking family versus the Spanish-speaking family. I'm sure there has to be some happy medium though!

@Jessica I agree that it would make the wedding more unique! I think my friend is more worried about the languages than the customs - especially since she doesn't know Spanish. I told her to start learning!

I think Americans aren't used to speaking or hearing other languages and can be somewhat hostile to it. Think of all the people who rant about "We're in America - SPEAK ENGLISH!" or complain when they have to dial 1 for English and 2 for Spanish.

Frankly, I think that's a crappy attitude, and it shouldn't be catered to. Unless they're having a really ornate or Catholic ceremony, it's not that much longer to have it be in both languages.

I have some concerns about your friend being hostile to learning Spanish and not being welcoming of her fiance's culture. Yes, it's hard to move out of your comfort zone, but it can really broaden your horizons. Plus, then she'll know if her in-laws are gossiping about her at Christmas dinner.

@Shannon That is very true (& hahah about people who rant about 'We're in America, Speak English' - SO absolutely ridiculous!). They won't be having an ornate, overly long ceremony, so I think having the ceremony in both languages could work. Or maybe somehow inter-weave the two.

And I don't think she's against learning Spanish, but she does definitely need to become more serious about actually learning it. She has told me in the past that she wants her kids to speak Spanish, and well, if she doesn't speak Spanish too then I don't think that would work out too well. Ha!

Yeah, I've been to wedding ceremonies in Russian and English, and seriously, most Jewish ceremonies are bilingual ( Hebrew and Enlgish), and the ceremony never feels overly long or confusing.

I took Hungarian in college, and probably 1/3 of my classmates were taking the class so they could communicate with their Hungarian spouse's family. Spanish is about ten million times easier to learn than Hungairan, so she better get on that!

I officiated one wedding where the groom's sister stood beside me. I had sent her the ceremony ahead of time so she could translate it into Spanish. I would read a line in English and then she read it in Spanish. It worked fine.

Another time, unexpectedly, someone stood beside me and translated into French. It could have gone better if I had known ahead of time and been able to send the person the ceremony. But, still, it went fairly quickly.