Dropping a bridesmaid

Right up front, I want to tell you that removing someone from your bridal party is often a friendship-killing and/or family-relationship ending move.

You're not being crazy. She sounds like she's acting like a spoiled diva, which is not ok since she is not the one getting married! When you accept someone's invite to be in their bridal party, it should be an honor, and it's her job to be supportive of you during this crazy time.

That said, she may be immature, she may be jealous that it's not her getting all the attention, or maybe she's just not a very nice person. Either way, I totally understand you wanting to end the drama. But I think you should try to work it out with her first, before kicking her to the curb.

Since Grandma has been paying for her stuff, maybe you could have a chat with her. It could be that your cousin has vented her frustrations to grandma, and you may be able to get to the bottom of whatever is bothering her, or causing her to act this way.

If you don't get anywhere with grandma, try having a private talk with your cousin. Tell her you feel like she's not all that interested in being in your wedding, and give her the out. Tell her it's ok if she wants to drop out, that you will understand. If she jumps on that, you've eliminated the drama without being the bad guy. If she tells you she does want to be a bridesmaid, then be clear with her about what you expect. Tell her how her crappy attitude really hurts your feelings.

Either way, this is YOUR day, not hers, so she needs to shut up and get with the program. Or don't be in the wedding party.

Like I said, this is the kind of move that ends friendships, relationships, etc. I've seen it so many times. So, be cautious when handling. But, no, you are not crazy.

"Then trying to tell me what shoes and or jewelry she would wear and what she would or wouldn’t wear."

Why is that a problem? You get to decide the dress, after asking them each - individually and privately - their budget, and keeping their comfort in mind. You get minimal input on the rest of their attire.

This Is Understandable Completely. I Would NOT Want My bridesmaids Looking Ridiculous At My Wedding. Theyre Going To Be In Photos And You Dont Want To Look Back On Them And Think About Their Attire. As For The Shoes, Id Say Give Her A Few Color Options That Fit Your Color Scheme And HOPEFULLY She Wont Have An Attitude Towards That. Its YOUR Wedding And You DO Have A Say In Everything They Wear. You Should Definitely Talk To Her About How Shes Been Acting. I Honestly Wouldnt Want To Put Up With That.

The bride gets to pick the dress. Anything else she has to pay for if she wants something specific. You can dictate a neutral shoe color but not a specific shoe, especially if you're not paying for it. Specifying jewelry is a bit over the top, but at most you can also specify a general look for jewelry unless you're paying for it (which if you are does not count as their gift).

None of these things are worth kicking someone out of your wedding over.