Dress Code PSA

Or you can let people adult and give them that information should they specifically ask like in your case

I don't understand the hatred of dress codes on here. They've been around for a long time. I've looked for dress code guidance on wedding websites in the past or have asked either the bride or MOH or MOB. I mean unless it's black tie, don't put it on the invite. But I don't see a problem with putting a dress code "cocktail attire", "semi-formal", or "casual" on a wedding website. They do have meaning.

I find dress codes or something stating attire to be helpful. It doesn't have to be on the invite. The last wedding I went to it was listed on the website under FAQ's. I have included this on my website as well. This way if people have the question its there and if not its not a concern and I'm also staying away from putting it on the physical invitation.

You can add it onto your wedding website in a nice manner that doesn't tell them what to wear, but hints towards it..

Example:

What should we wear? The venue is semi formal. We know you will show up looking fabulous.

Because none of those really mean anything. My casual may be way different than yours, cocktail attire and semi-formal both read basically the same to me, but that is just the way I read it. I've seen "beach-y formal" "casual fun" other made-up word combinations, the hell is that? Brides go way overboard trying to fulfill their image of their perfect day and forget that in most situations adults can function and dress themselves how they see fit.

I agree with Emmy, but it doesn't hurt to give hints. like my wording above and a formal invitation.

This is what I put on my website:

Wedding: This is not a fancy, black tie kind of event. Ceremony will be on the beach with an outdoor/indoor reception to follow. (Men-khakis and polo/dress shirt. Women in nice cotton dress or pants) Nothing fancy. More like business casual.

I had people ask me numerous times what to wear. I didn't just make up some words ..I gave an example. I only had two people wear something that I thought was pushing it....MOH's dad was in shorts, but whatever. I didn't notice it until dinner. It didn't affect anything.

Emmy is on point, as usual.

Well, I think people who "adult" also have the wherewithal to know that dress codes are suggestions, not mandates. I just know in our case, where all of my guests and most of DH's asked us about the dress code, I doubt anyone found it insulting, but in fact helpful.

I agree @Christine. I find them helpful. Adults should also know the difference between casual, cocktail, and black tie. I would question an adult who didn't.

And Emmy, I couldn't agree less. As my example with my friend illustrated, it was about her feeling comfortable because she felt properly dressed, not me having visions of ballgowns in my head. I don't think brides think of their guests as props, I just know I would want to know how to dress for an occasion and I don't there's anything wrong with relaying that info to them.

I swear almost every single guest asked me what to wear. I just answered as the questions came in even if I didn't care what people wore. I noticed not one single person's outfit that day except a few that looked stunning.

I'm just here to say one comment literally made me "HA!" at my desk.

I agree with Christine. Noting a suggested dress code isn't about making your guests wear exactly what you want them to wear (or at least, it shouldn't be), it's about making them feel more comfortable by signalling how to fit in, and most people do want to fit in. As a guest, I've always found a suggested dress code helpful. For a Saturday night wedding at a generic banquet hall or hotel, for example, it's helpful to know whether I should expect semi-formal/cocktail or closer to black tie.

So, I had a recommended dress code on my website. Personally, I couldn't care less what my guests wore--e.g. a ton of people mentioned after the fact that my aunt wore white . . . I hadn't even noticed (and still don't care)--but I do think it's easier on guests to set a basic dress code.

Edited for missing word

I'm glad some people get what I'm saying annie, lol

P.S. Tell your friend a random internet stranger said she looks hot. Ha, I love the dress she went with!

I do agree with Emmy that just stringing together words doesn't really have any meaning when it comes to listing a dress code. My FMIL got married recently and wrote "California Casual". WTF does that mean? She had emailed it out and said "Ladies, you know what to wear!". I do not. I decided to wear a more casual dress, but people were in cocktail dresses, khakis, casual dresses, and FH's uncle showed up in sweatpants and a t-shirt.

FutureMrsDrF- I will give Emmy that as well. Made up dress codes are more confusing than clarifying. But, only that lol.

VM - love the examples you used because that is exactly what we are going for as well (although unfortunately, not at the beach). I may try and use similar wording on our wedding website.

Edited to add that this would be on the wedding website only, not invites.

Of course you shouldn't just make shit up to be cute (I agree with FMDrF... wtf is "california casual"). But there are pretty defined across the board agreement of the meaning for:

White Tie

Black Tie

Formal

Semi Formal

Cocktail Attire

Casual

There's some differences between guides, but for the most part, there are some pretty clear guidelines.

http://www.rd.com/health/beauty/dress-codes-defined-2/