Dress Code for the Guests

What the hell is "black tie theme"? Is this a costume party?

I don't know about anyone else but...is your date is over 2 years away? Are you actually stressing about invites and dress code now? Seems like maybe you're worried about the wrong things right now...

You can't tell people how to dress. But I like to know what the dress code is. Is it casual? Sunday morning? Semi casual? Work casual? Semi Formal? formal? Black tie? I'd hate to go to a super fancy wedding in semi casual attire. If you have a website put it on there and word of mouth. Just don't be bridezilla about it. Are you gonna freak if someone wears a little black dress & heels? Or just a regular suit? My mom was kinda pissy when I put semi formal on our web site, acting like I was saying " I'm kicking you out if you don't wear a suit!". Personally I like to know and would feel uncomfortable not knowing.

Edit: I have family member known for wearing jeans and looking like the just got done with yard work. I love them but that's the way they are

OP - there are many requirements to a true black tie event. Do not indicate black tie, unless you will host it properly

I'm super confused by some of these responses. I don't feel it's rude at all to let guests know the dress code. In my experience, I've always seen it on invitations or somewhere on the couples wedding website. I've never once seen it as tacky or hear people comment on the tackiness of it. As a woman, I love seeing something about a dress code because it doesn't have me wearing a cocktail dress while everyone else is in beach attire.

@Rebecca, it's not rude to let people know the dress code, per se. It's rude to require a dress code. You should not dictate how other people dress. Anyone wearing beach attire to a wedding that isn't on the beach would get a HUUUUUUGE side-eye from me.

I think it's common sense to dress for the type of occasion you're going to. I don't see why it needs to be advertised. Second of all, why does it matter? If you want to come in flip flops, whatever.

I don't feel it is rude to let your guests know the dress code. Every wedding I have been to has had some type of dress code. Formal, casual, black tie, etc. They all have a different vibe, so its nice to know what kind of event you are going to, so you can dress accordingly. I don't see anything wrong with having a dress code for your wedding.

Thanks for all the comments. I appreciate all the responses and the kind people however I find it childish for some people to be so rude. You can tell me your opinion without being rude.

So it's not a black tie wedding, then? Then you don't have a "Dress code."

You still haven't explained what a black tie theme is

OP, no one has been rude to you. You, however, have not answered our questions, thus it is difficult to give you appropriate help.

No one was rude. You just didn't like our opinions. If I was invited to a black tie wedding, i would buy a gown and probably pay to get my hair and makeup done. If I showed up and could have worn one of several cocktail dresses to your black tie "theme" wedding, I would not be happy....and probably overdressed.

I would also like to know what "black tie theme" means, if not a true black tie experience. We are having a pretty casual wedding, and not setting any thpe of dress code, so I am no help. Even the wedding I went to at the Ritz in Dallas where we had a fillet and shrimp plated meal didn't specify black tie.

I'm not sure what you mean by 'black tie theme'-- sounds like you'd like your guests to dress up (to the point of renting a tux or dress.... not just 'don't wear jeans) without doing 'white tie hosting', which would include a plated 5 course meal, at the very least.

You know your guests best, but I had a reasonably casual affair at a country club in the S.F. bay area, where we tend to be very casual, and NO ONE came in jeans. I think you are worrying for nothing, if that's truly what you're angling at.

Telling a guest that your wedding is formal is different from telling your guest to dress in formal attire. We were all in high school once. Did yours have a dress code? Most probably did because they want to make sure that kids dress according to school standards. Fine. But adults policing other adults by setting a dress code is rude, in my opinion.

If your wedding is in October 2018 do you have your venue booked already? If not, it's a little hard to know if it will in fact be a "black tie" wedding...

There's nothing wrong with saying black tie optional on an invite...gives people an indication of the level of formality without demanding tuxedos and gowns. Have you considered that wording?

If you do request the black tie then you better to be sure to make your wedding black tie and I mean white glove service all the way. There is nothing that will piss off a guest more that you dress up in your gowns and tuxes to a buffet dinner and veggie tray

No, don't put black tie optional either. That's not a real dress code and just confuses guests more.

Nikki, the main problem here is that the OP is evading questions about whether her wedding is black tie. So it seems like she wants her guests to dress in very formal attire but isn't hosting an actual black tie event.