Drama over someone else's bachelorette party... (rant-ish)

What a C U Next Tuesday!! That sucks that she is causing a rift between your FH and hers but there is not much you can do. Maybe you will luck out and she will refuse to attend your wedding?! One can hope. At least your FH is on your side - hoping everything works out!

It just sucks because it’s pretty much been a lose-lose situation for me from day one. I was nice, but shy when I first met her (I’m a shy person). She started saying unkind things about me behind my back. This sparked ill will between us, especially when I stopped talking to her (which is what some of you have suggested). This ended up leading to more problems because then she was insulted that I wasn’t buddy-buddy with her. We hashed it out and everything was supposed to be okay. We were supposed to be polite and civil for our FHs’ sakes; we were supposed to be able to hang out in social and couples situations without hating each other. I was outgoing and nice and everything after “the talk” and she rewards me with rudeness and two-faced behavior. I’m damned if I try to make friends with her and I’m damned if I don’t because then I’m the “bad guy” who is antisocial. Thank you for some of your words of encouragement everyone. She’s not a pleasant person to deal with. Yes, FH is probably blowing it out of proportion (as I said, I’m not upset about the fact that I don’t get to participate), but I think it comes from guilt where he’s been telling me for 3.5 years that she’s not that rude or nasty. He’s a man and men say it to your face when they don’t like you, so it was difficult for him to comprehend how she would say and do things behind my back – especially Mean Girls. The really sad thing is that she’s several years older than all of us and should really be past this kind of behavior by now.

I agree with OriginalKD, this appears to be causing the biggest problem with the friendship between the FHs and that's not fair to them

Honestly, you and this girl will more than likely never be friends, which is fine you don't have to be friends with each other just because your FHs are friends. You may have to find a way to be cordial to each other when in each other's presence, but you can't control what she does - just what you do. Be the bigger person, and don't feed her drama. Do you really want to go to her bachelorette? Probably not - so does it really matter that she didn't invite you?

Is she being catty and playing games to cause drama? YEP! Is it working? YEP! Do you have to get all caught up in the drama? Nope!

Yep she is bitch, avoid her like the plague. She is no longer in HS and needs to grow the hell up.

I'm confused. You guys don't like each other. She's probably going to talk about you behind your back. You need to accept this. Who is telling you the things she is saying? And why are they telling you? Whoever it is, they need to stop/you need to tell them to stop because it's obviously just causing drama. When you see each other, be civil. Beyond that, don't think about her.

As for your FH, he really needs to stay out of it. This is just going to cause unnecessary problems between him and his friend.

Samantha - It's mostly her FH who talks about the things she says and I've overheard him repeating them. He also tells my FH. I try to be nothing but civil and nice around her and it seems to just burn me one way or another, which is unfortunate. I agree that my FH should stay out of this, but he's offended for me and I cannot really blame him.

Angela - Part of the issue is that FH's best friend repeats what his fiancée says about me and that's not something I can control. FH used to brush it off, but he overheard the most recent issue about the bachelorette party and realized it wasn't all "innocent" and she really is just a Mean Girl. I don't go and whine about her to FH, he hears a lot of the things she says before I even do. I can only prevent his involvement so much when I'm not the catalyst. The last thing I want is for the guys' friendship to hurt because of this, but she really is quite unbearable. There are only so many mean comments and rude actions a girl can take!

Im sorry, i dont put this much effort into my friends, let alone people I dont like. I agree with O&S forget her and enjoy the other girls. and dont talk bad about her to the group

Then your FH needs to tell his friend to stop talking about the drama that doesn't involve him. sorry but this is a very common thing that most people go through at some point in their lives and how you handle it speaks volumes. so i agree with everyone here don't worry about her not inviting you. WHO CARES?! Would you even go? would you even have fun? you don't even have to invite her to yours if you don't want to. let your other friend deal with her herself and if i were you i'd tell everyone to stop talking to you about her. i dealt with a similar biatch back in my day and she would run her mouth about me but i didn't say anything so when people came up to me to gossip i would stop them and tell them to go to someone else that cared because i didn't care about what she said. DONE AND DONE.

My FH wouldn't tolerate it, he'd tell his friend to shut up about it. Your FH's friend needs to keep his mouth shut, and your Fiance needs to let him know he doesn't want to hear what that girl has to say.

It's time to let it go. Be the bigger person her and just move on. Try not to mention it to your FH in passing. He will see for himself. You don't want to be the cause of coming in between him and his BFF. I know it will be hard. Mean Girls can be so in your face about every little thing. They make it their life's mission to get to you in the littlest ways possible, like inviting your friend to the Bachelorette Party and not inviting you. Just put your big girl panties on and focus on your FH and those people that you want in your life helping you celebrate that special day. Good luck.

You dont have to get along with someone because they are with a friend of yours. one of my best friends has a girlfriend whom i cannot stand, when im in her presence im civil but id never keep trying to be her friend. as for the invite, consider it you dodged the bullet, now you dont have to respectfully decline it or go and have a miserable time. just because she's engaged to your mans friend doesnt mean you have to be buddy buddy with her. just be civil in social situations with her and move on with life.

I think that whether they like it or not they would end up not being friends at some point of the relationship from personal experience. You just stay away like some people said be the better person and let it go before it ends up going worse. If she is happy being like that let her be you just be you don't let it bother you I understand you believe me.

Sounds like you're investing way too much thought and energy into this. Like everyone else has said - be civil (when you have to be), avoid the bitch when you can, and consider yourself lucky you weren't invited to her $500pp bachelorette (especially since now you don't have to worry about whether or not to invite her).

In my opinion, you're both behaving like high school girls. If it really bothers you that someone talks behind your back, then you've not matured past teen years either. Meanwhile, you're posting this thread for the purpose of ranting about this girl behind her back... She's creating drama and you're fanning the flames.

Get over it and move on - hopefully before you cost your FH his best friend.

Sorry if that's harsh, but I find this whole thread pretty ridiculous.

I don't think ranting about someone who has hurt us/made our lives difficult is necessarily immature. I think I've been about as mature as one can be in a situation such as this. She and I are constantly thrown into social situations together so I've tried to make the best of them. I have to accept the fact that she and I will never be friends and give up on trying to bury the hatchet. I think a lot of the responses on here show I'm not alone and this is something a lot of people can relate to. I would have stooped to her level had I said all of this to our friends, but I chose to vent on here instead. If anyone costs FH this friendship it will be them, not me. Like I said, his friend tells him things his FW says, not me. Their mouths are going to be the problem, not mine. I will sit back and watch the disaster happen and go about my life.

ETA - I think a lot of the rants/vents people post on here are about people like the one I'm dealing with. There are genuinely venomous people out there who thrive on conflict and I am, unfortunately, dealing with one of them. Sorry about the vent, but it's obviously built up over the last 3.5 years.

You cannot control her behavior, but you can control your reaction to it. Stop feeding the drama monster and she will wither and die.