Drama! Friends Bachelorette Party

As PPs have said, its a shock that she is your MOH and she didn't even include you in her BP. Beyond that, this reaction of hers toward you not coming to the BP is so unbelievable selfish/rude that she should be embarrassed and ashamed.

I have a close friend getting married in a few weeks and she had a destination BP that was pretty expensive. I am asking her to be my BM but i'm not in her's. All of my BMs came to her BP, and many of them are buying houses and live out of state and have a lot of expenses this year that I feel guilty having any type of BP that will cost $$ for them to keep it reasonable. If I do, I will definitely be sad if some of them can't make it for cost, but I would ABSOLUTELY understand and would never ever guilt them into coming. A good friend wouldn't.

It sounds like your friend is only thinking of herself, which is very sad. I think you made the right response by saying you need to talk it out in person. Maybe she will apologize and understand where you are coming from. If not, these are true colors.

Your friend is being incredibly rude and entitled. If she wasn't so selfish she'd take into consideration your feelings and your situation and be understanding. So you're supposed to get a loan from this person so that you can go? Also insane - you shouldn't spend money you don't have on such a thing. You have every right to be mad.

I agree with everyone - she's being totally unreasonable. But you ask about moving forward. Whether it's rash or not to throw a friendship away depends on why you asked her. If it was out of obligation, then sadly some friendships do pass a sell by date, if it was because you genuinely wanted her there, talk to her and explain how you feel, and if she's still unreasonable then at least you won't add guilt to the loss of a friendship.

OP I'm sorry you have such a shitty-ass friend!!

Obviously, you've known her for years, and this seems like a typical behavior pattern, even if it's never been directed towards you. You've said your piece, asked to speak in-person (I agree, text is never, ever appropriate for something of this magnitude) and if she wants to be a child, than you let her go. Let her come to you if/when she decides to stop being a brat.

Sounds like you've got an awesome kid at home you can spend some great quality time with that weekend, so it's not even like you'll be missing out on anything!

Well I see both sides. I don't blame you at all for not going for financial reasons but if she's throwing you a Bachelorette party or was planning to she's probably frustrated she's spending all that money on you and you couldn't return the favor.

If you didn't expect her to do that, are you ok with not having a bachelorette? She might feel better knowing she doesn't need to do that for you and see it as more fair. But if she was planning one for you, I would get her frustration. Granted that wasn't the way to go about it on her end but if it's a friendship you don't want to lose you should try to resolve the issue

Sounds like you're a better friend to her than she is to you. I'd stand your ground and smile and nod through her wedding and yours. She's just shown you who she really is, so keep your expectations of her low.

I don't understand people who plan these parties, tell someone what they owe them without (it sounds like) asking them what they can afford, and then have the balls to get pissed off and offended when they find out this person can't afford to go.

Your friend sucks, plain and simple. It doesn't matter if she's been your friend for 1 year, 10 years, or your entire life. If you can't go, you can't go. She can absolutely be disappointed that you can't come, cause it definitely sucks. But she's forgetting that her wedding is just a ceremony and then a very expensive party. If my friends suddenly forgot that I had a life and that my world and finances do not revolve around their wedding, and then turned into an ungrateful brat because of it, I'd have no problem stepping back while I re-evaluated my relationship with them. Jfc I don't understand these women who get engaged and then act so entitled and treat their friends like garbage. Ugh.

Your friend is being ridiculous.

Your "friend" is absolutely being ridiculous. The sticky part is that she is still your MOH.

Nope. You're not wrong. She's being entitled.

I can't imagine having a friend like this. These parties are not requirements and I would not expect an OOT person to attend one. You wouldn't even need to give me an excuse of why you can't make it. The four-hour drive would be enough for me. And honestly, the moment she told me that my child wasn't a valid excuse would be the moment the friendship ended.

I like how she says the excuse for not having money is ridiculous. You're knee deep in planning a freaking wedding, and even if you weren't, money is a perfectly reasonable "excuse". Your finances are not her business, period. You could have just said nope. It's really unbelievable to me how people lack any sort of understanding when you say no to something as frivolous and over the top as this.

I'm sorry your friend is being so shitty. :/

Your friend sucks.

I know I'm ancient, as in "Before Bachelorette Party Fever) but the whole multi night, traveling, destination bachelorette thing is crazy.

You say no, you don't feel guilty, you realize she might not be the person you want to be friends with, and see what happens next.

How did she get to be your MOH? Not that you owe me an answer, but just curious...