Drama! Friends Bachelorette Party

You don't need to finish.

Your friend is being ridiculous.

You aren't even in the wedding party. Your friend sucks.

^^^

Without even reading the rest I can say your friend is wrong and being an asshole

Seconding @A.L. Your friend is an asshole.

Agree with the others. Weddings are expensive; she's your MOH and knows that you're paying for your wedding in addition to your other bills. If she really wants you there, she would encourage her MOH to plan a cheaper alternative, or help you out so you can afford it.

She said that I should have asked her cousin (who I dont know) for a LOAN so I would be able to go. Not only is that so embarrassing, but I think, wrong.

If she had given me a little more time I may have been able to swing it, but the fact is my fiance and I decided together that it would be a decent amount of money that isnt feasible right now.

My friend then said that since she is my MOH that she thought I would put more effort in because she plans to for my wedding (mind you I dont expect her to do ANYTHING for my wedding). She then stated that ive been a bad friend lately and im not involved or excited about her engagement (which is so untrue, ive been helping her and im not even in it). At this point, I blew up and told her she has NO obligations to do anything but show up for my wedding, and she didnt even have to do that if she thought I was being such a terrible friend.

We havent spoken since (about a week or so), and at this point I dont want to talk to her, im really upset at how she went about this entire situation. If she had come to be in the first place and said she was upset I couldnt come, it would have been TOTALLY different.

I just want to know your thoughts. Am I wrong to not want to be involved with her "friendship" anymore?

This friend sucks already.

What is with these "weekends" anyways? My friends and I all went out to dinner and around downtown CLE, and it was a great amount of fun and was cheap.

When doing a destination bachelorette party everyone invited should be on the planning process. Everyone should agree with the plan before reservations are made and a rough estimate of costs should be made known well before hand. Your friend is being unfair and unrealistic.

I don't understand people who don't understand financial straits. I was the MOH for one of my best friend's wedding and she asked me to buy a $200 dollar dress when that was pretty much a whole paycheck for me at the time. (I was a student and working part time for minimum wage.) I couldn't afford it and she flew off the handle at me. She'd never discussed a budget with me about what I would be willing to spend, just sent me the link to the dress. Luckily, she found a dress that she liked better in a price range much more comfortable for me. But I totally get the helpless feeling you can have when someone gets mad at you for not having money.

You're not wrong, but she's still in your wedding yes? Unless she steps down, you can't kick her out. So you may want to try to salvage the friendship for that reason.

Your friend is a total b----. If you hadn't already asked her to be in your wedding, I'd want to reconsider. You are not obligated to travel 4 hours out of town for anyone's party. You are also not obligated to explain your financial situation to anyone who doesn't pay your bills either. Who takes out a loan from anyone to go party???

And you're not wrong. I'd let that one drift away.

Nope you aren't wrong at all

Thanks for all the responses (without even reading the rest!!)

There were other factors involved too, like having our daughter that weekend, and my fiance working all weekend. It just was tricky and I didnt have enough time to plan for it.

I knew she was being out of place about it, but I wanted others opinions, because I know she has told all of her other friends about the situation and they have backed her up. Its not like I said I cant go to your bridal shower or even the wedding! C'mon now... just super frustrating!

While I agree with PPs that your friend is being ridiculous, I don't think you should be so quick to throw away a friendship. Emotions are high right now, take a minute to breathe and then sit down and talk with her. Let her know how you feel, and maybe when she has an opportunity to calm down too, she will regret saying those things.

She's being ridiculous.

@Mandypants, right! I thought bachelorette parties were a single night! Silly me!!

@mandypants have you been to Johnny Mango's yet? My favorite margarita place in OHC.

I want you to finish your story! Is she backing out of your wedding? This is a ridiculous situation!!

I was in a similar one. I was one of my cousins BMs and another one of her BMs planned the bachelorette weekend 8 hrs away. I told her I would get back to her in a few days time to get an answer. I was a young college kid with no job and no license. So not only did I not have the money I also did not have a way to get there. I did research and looked at trains/buses and talked to my mom about borrowing money and she and I decided it was not worth it to go. So I text the girl back two days later and she says "well that's just great. I already included you in the breakdown of all the shared costs. Now I have to tell everyone the prices will be going up". She spent the whole wedding giving me dirty looks and avoiding me