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A
Just Said Yes March 2012

Dont want gift registry but rather monetary donations

Anya, on September 20, 2011 at 2:09 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 20

Hi, my fiance and I have decided that instead of gifts we prefer monetary funds. We have all that is needed for the house. What do you think? What is the best way to word this in the invite?

20 Comments

Latest activity by tee, on November 11, 2012 at 2:46 PM
  • Analy aka T-waffle
    Master October 2009
    Analy aka T-waffle ·
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    You never ever ever put gift info in the invite. The best way: don't register. People understand.

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  • J
    Master November 2011
    J&R ·
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    Not to. It can be offensive to people if you ask them not to get you any gift but money. People will get you what they want to get you - it's their gift, their choice. If you don't want stuff you can't use, best to throw some ideas into a registry.

    (As Analy said, lack of a registry or (IMO, better) a very limited registry generally gets the point across.)

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  • Jen H.
    Master October 2012
    Jen H. ·
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    Never mention gifts in the invitation. We are also set in the household department. On our website, we said something like "please no gifts, if you'd like to give something, we are asking for contributions to our honeymoon!" with a link to where we are planning on staying.

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  • Ab
    Master October 2011
    Ab ·
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    Agreed.

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  • Latisha M (Latisha B)
    Super November 2011
    Latisha M (Latisha B) ·
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    The most polite way to request a monetary gift is t say nothing. If there's no registry listed, most people will get the idea. If they don't, just be thankful for the gesture of the gift...no matter what it is.

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  • Pumpkin's Sunshine
    Master October 2011
    Pumpkin's Sunshine ·
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    Are you doing home improvement projects? You can register at Menards (and probably Home Depot and Lowes).

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  • TAMEICA
    Savvy October 2011
    TAMEICA ·
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    Yes don't put it on your invites.....there are sites that you can get ideas of poems to tell people that you rather have funds. I did a little poem on my wedding site.

    Although I'm sure I will get gifts too...I will be grateful anyway.

    Now you can tell people who are closest to you that you hope you get money, but they should already know if you already have a place!!

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  • Alondra
    VIP February 2012
    Alondra ·
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    I would not ask for anything (especially money). You receive what people give to you and that is that.

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  • Carole M (a.k.a "old tart")
    Master October 2011
    Carole M (a.k.a "old tart") ·
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    Well said Alondra!

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  • Carole M (a.k.a "old tart")
    Master October 2011
    Carole M (a.k.a "old tart") ·
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    Well said Alondra!

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  • b
    Expert March 2012
    b ·
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    I think it's best to include that information on your wedding website or spread it around via word of mouth. Probably not the best idea to include it in an invitation.

    I would suggest registering for at least few small items. There are going to be people who are not going to give you cash even if you ask for it.

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  • Sabrina
    Master November 2014
    Sabrina ·
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    What Alondra said!

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  • MekMek
    Master June 2012
    MekMek ·
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    Have you tried this site

    http://www.depositagift.com

    We attended a wedding where the couple was asking for help with the downpayment of their new home instead of gifts. Each guest went on and made a deposit. Neat idea and the website helps with wording so it doesn't seem tacky.

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  • H
    Devoted September 2012
    Holly ·
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    I'm using www.myregistry.com and you can have a cash gift fund and call it whatever you want... like "honeymoon fund" or "our dream home" or whatever... I'd recommend that and then also adding a few small items, because then you can just tell people "MyRegistry.com" and then they can see everything listed together. Your cash gift fund will be right at the top so everyone will see it but it saves you the trouble of specifically asking for cash.

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  • K
    Master October 2011
    Kiss My ·
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    We put together a gift registry at Kmart included the link on our website and by word of mouth. I had one guest to ask my mother if we would prefer money instead. My mother told whatever she felt was best, it was up to her as the guest.

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  • Mrs. Montoya!!!
    VIP October 2011
    Mrs. Montoya!!! ·
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    We also prefer monetary gifts and its customary in our cultures to give money. Basically we didnt put anything on the invites about gifts. We didnt register anywhere. WE have told the Bridal Party our preference and if someone asks they can spread around the word. I do have a poem on my wedding website.

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  • Carrie
    Master December 2011
    Carrie ·
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    @ Noei - ITA, if anything I find those poems very annoying, more annoying than if you just said you prefer money if asked.

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  • Pumpkin's Sunshine
    Master October 2011
    Pumpkin's Sunshine ·
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    Some people just don't like to give money. They don't want you to know how much you spent or they think it's impersonal.

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  • Jamie
    Dedicated January 2012
    Jamie ·
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    We really love our www.depositagift.com site. it lets you register and share what you want money for so people still get to pick out a gift, but it makes more sense because it's actually something you want and won't return. i love the interface and the customer service. all in all, it was the perfect solution!

    not sure why everyone is being so hard on you. many people ask this question and i'm sure you didn't mean that you'd put your registry info on the invites (maybe that's what they're reacting to?) the easy way around this is to create a wedding website where you list your registry info. then included in your invitation envelope you put an insert card that says something like: "For more details about our wedding, please visit our wedding website: weddingwire.com/youraddress We'll be updating it frequently as the big day nears."

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  • tee
    Beginner January 2012
    tee ·
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    Although wedding gifts should not be expected, our guests wanted to celebrate with us by bringing a gift. Traditionally, asking for a cash gift has been a controversial etiquette issue, but if handled and communicated properly it can be a great alternative to traditional wedding gift registries.

    The best cash gift registry we found was http://bowlofcherries.com. We researched them all for user friendliness, customer support and fees. This site is awesome.

    What makes it super great is how you can keep your cash gift registry even after the wedding for bridal showers, birthdays or any other event. We posted pictures of our honeymoon and our first born. You get a live website with tabs, photos, wish lists and blog. Most of the sites we looked at had just a single page with old school templates. Bowl of Cherries has lots of current custom designer templates to design your wedding cash gift registry.

    Here is a sample of our wedding cash gift registry


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