Dollar dance

So, I went to a wedding last year that had the dollar dance.

The groom had guys and girls lined up to dance with him.

No one lined up to dance with the bride until the groom plead with the audience.

It was sooo uncomfortable to watch.

Maybe an unpopular opinion but I don't think that something being a cultural tradition makes it exempt from being tacky. Some cultural traditions are tacky and awkward, period.

No...it is tacky unless it is cultural.

Both my family and my FHs family have always done the "traditional" dollar dance. I'm really not even sure of the cultural significance. I still think it's tacky. And I don't want anyone pinning money to my dress. I went to a wedding once where the bride had a money bag that she carried while she danced with everyone. Still not for me. But I won't be surprised if FH has money pinned to him at the end of the night. I intended to answer your question but I really can't think of an alternative way to do a money dance.

Please just no

Wow I need to rewatch mean girls. I totally don't remember the part where they rip off other cultures to make money. I guess it's been a while since I've seen it...

Also on cultural significance, here's my thoughts. I grew up in Portugal and I never ONCR saw a wedding with a dollar dance. Then, when we moved to the states, there were some weddings from "portuguese" families (who'd been living in the US for generations) and they had a dollar dance. Once, someone on here told me to go read a book on portuguese cultural because it was at every stateside wedding they'd been to. Basically, my point is, some of this culture stuff isn't even authentically cultural. Someone did it once and now everyone is and it may not even mean anything....

I went to a wedding that had a dollar dance. Hardly anyone had money on them and it was sad. Don't do it.

This is the third grossest thing at a wedding on the SoonToBeStarkey scale.

Please don't subject your guests to this.

I didn't know Pittsburgh was the capital of Poland, the country in which where, according to a Google search, brings up a Wikipedia page citing is as a POSSIBLE source of the money/dollar dance's origin.

On the same Wikipedia page, under the North America section, it says nothing about it originating in the US from the city of Pittsburgh, and also states, "Many, including traditional North American etiquette experts, consider the practice of asking money from wedding guests via the 'Money Dance', as incorrect."

And then every other country listed has a more deeper, cultural meaning than the US' money-grabbiness.

Also, no one was being mean. They gave you advice. I also didn't feel personally victimized by Regina George during any of this.

Question on the "cultural" excuse I see on here a lot... Can anyone tell me which cultures it is "OK" to do this in or why? I've seen people mention Polish and Mexican, but other threads have brought up other cultures. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone can trace this back and fill the rest of us on WW in on how or why it is OK culturally for some but not all. Honestly, not everything cultures do is good or worth continuing into future generations. Just because your family traditionally does something tacky, doesn't make it cool to carry on that tradition.

Who brings money to weddings? I bring my ID just in case I get carried but you shouldn't need cash if your properly hosted.

I agree with a PP. Start a new tradition and don't do a dollar fance. Start a revolution!

@Melissa, that is exactly why, even if we were not eloping, we wouldn't be doing this. My family is from Poland and I lived there for a short time and I still wouldn't do it.

ETA: Taryn gave a pretty good account of the dollar dance in Polish culture.

@MelissaErin, not that I always cite Wikipedia pages, but this one has a nice breakdown and seems fairly accurate: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Money_dance

My family is 100% Polish and I never heard of a dollar dance until coming to ww. Go figure.

@MelissaErin, in differs because in the cultures (such as Nigerian as well) it is symbolic and has meaning. The reason it is tacky in American culture is because it is rude to ask for money. When I have seen this done at Nigerian celebrations (both celebrations done in Nigeria and Nigerian celebrations in America), the guest/couple of honor never ask for money. It is something that is willingly done by guests, to show love and care. You don't have to understand it if you dont want to. There is no harm that is caused by this tradition, so it not fitting American culture isnt a good reason to get rid of it.

Thanks, Jay. FH's family is Polish and his mother asked me to do some kind of a dance with an apron and I instantly said no. I just think that each couple has the opportunity to start a new tradition, no matter their background, and not ask their guests to take out their wallets!

@Ashley, it isn't a structured "everyone line up and pay money to dance with the bride and groom" thing that it is here. It's more or less people just giving money as a way of wishing the couple well.

@Ashley + @Melissa, my boyfriend is half Hungarian and he told me about the shoe tradition. He wants no part of it and I agree with him. It just doesn't seem right to me. His mom is really understanding about things, though, so I don't think that will be an issue. As for his relatives still in Hungary, neither he or myself have met them, so no one ought to be offended by our desire to exclude it.

ETA: Details