Dollar Dance?

Rachel--the midwest is a big area. The only wedding I ever went to that had a dollar dance was in Montreal--but it wasn't ones they were pinning. More like 100s (and this was a looooong time ago). My mom had to fish through her purse for two 50s because, as she said "Everyone will know where the American bills came from."

@QueSeraSera That's my point! I never associated it with any sort of cultural reference, and definitely not with my own culture. I'm just asking for clarification on this. Are there some cultures in which a dollar dance is as necessary as say, a first dance between the couple? I see people saying Polish/ Mexican culture. But why?

@BeachDreams I see, and that makes sense. But how is that different from a traditional "american" couple doing it and allowing their friends and family to rain down blessings on them? Where did the dollar dance idea even originate from... I may go look that up.

Is your DJ also providing the brass pole? Hard no from me, it's kind of tacky.

It started in the early 1900s in some immigrant neighborhoods, just like showers. It was to help the couple get started in their new life together.

Wikipedia had the answers I was seeking.

I think it is safe to say that dollar dances are just as much a part of wedding culture in the United States as in the other countries (maybe it varies geographically here). But still I would avoid it, and it seems it is dying out in popularity.

@Rachel, most american couples (such as yourself) don't know the actual meaning behind it and a lot do it just to make money. Out of the hundreds of money dance threads I have seen, the only times I have ever seen posters who knew the meaning of the tradition is when it was part of the cultural. Every other time they described it as a fun was to make more money. They are just stealing from another culture more monetary gain. Also, the meaning may vary across traditions. I am only familiar with Nigerian culture.

Bidding on a garter is just wrong on so many levels! Gives me the ewwies just thinking about it. How creepy would it be if an uncle or father was the highest bidder? Ewwwweeee

No way. I wouldn't do it...especially since I'm worth more than a dollar per dance.

In my family all of the weddings I've gone to have had it. But we have a huge family! I never thought it was awkward, sometimes they made it fun and said whoever gets the most doesn't have to do dishes or whatever for a month. I plan on doing it for our wedding reception but the $ will go towards the honeymoon.

I see what you're saying, and I try to be very conscientious of cultural appropriation in general, but considering the immigration in America from Poland and (fill in the blank with whichever country you want), it is possible that the communities retained the tradition, but lost some of the details of it. And that isn't cultural appropriation just to make some money in my opinion. The idea is still the same universally "to give the couple gifts to help them start a new life together." And that sentiment is fine, even if the individual communities don't recognize it as coming from X country or time period.

In contrast, cultural appropriate would be going to somebody's Polish or Nigerian wedding, seeing it, thinking that it is a great way to make money, and doing it for the first time in your own community for that reason. But those scenarios are starkly different in my mind.

Oh the Nigerian tradition is much more fun, uplifting and heartwarming. It is not planned but is spontaneous, and it comes from the guests. It's a blast to watch. You can't replicate that. Well, the Greeks do a good job of it too

@Asta I've said no, and I get told I'm doing one anyway according to FH's family. They are saying "OH YOU HAVE TO" And I keep saying no, it's tacky. They're paying for a large chunk of the wedding so I almost feel forced. It'll be a convo for FH and I to have, but he wants the money for the honeymoon. Even though I think it's tacky. We don't need money for the honeymoon lol.

FH says WW has changed my views on things like the dollar dance, but I've never wanted to do one. I've been to one Wedding w/ a dollar dance and it's awkward.

@Nonna, exactly! Whenever, I have seen the money dance done it is purely driven by the guests. If you need a DJ to announce it, it is probably not part of your culture.

@Rachel, and the majority of people who post about the money dance do not identify with any of the cultures that have been listed. So if you don't identify with that culture in any other part of your life and no other part of your wedding has rituals from said culture, why would you decide to use the money dance? Oh, that's right because it is a quick way to make a buck. In these areas in the midwest (since that is region that seems to pop up most frequently), I wouldn't be surprised if a long time ago someone appropriated this tradition and people hopped on the bandwagon. And boom, not it is a midwest "tradition" *eyeroll*

Ugh PLEASE DO NOT DO IT! It was the thing back in the 70's.....but just no. It is an obvious plea for money. Just don't do it.

I've been to plenty of weddings where they do this and I HATE it. I always escape to the bathroom/outside/whatever during this time. It's so awkward! I would never dream of doing this. Super tacky. I do not expect to have to bring cash to a wedding unless it is inside of a card for the bride and groom.

I guess I was saying that in these pockets in the midwest it seems highly likely one of the original families came from a country where this was common practice, and it has been handed down over the generations. and boom! it is now a midwest tradition as well (which is how literally all traditions start).

Ashley, tell fh's family that he can dance for money if they/he wants.

I'm Polish and proud, but I'm not doing this. Some traditions need to be forgotten.

@Rachel, but if it was passed down across generations, wouldn't their be some awareness of were it came from? I just find it weird for a cultural tradition to survive, but the connection to a particular heritage doesn't. Would people keep wearing the Star of David because it was passed down through generations, but somehow lose the knowledge of its connection to the Jewish culture. That sound silly, right?