Does your sister have to be a bridesmaid?

Chose who you're closest to and explain that to anyone who asks.. "I chose ____ because we're so close".. there shouldn't be issues with that

I have one of my sisters (out of 5), my BFF, and my eldest niece as my MOHs

youngest sis and god daughter as ushers

Make the choice that won't leave you with any regrets. I'm sure you will figure it all out!

I never understood why people think it's tradition to make you do something you don't want to for YOUR wedding. I think they just pretend that it is what your suppose to do because they have no real reason to make you do it. Stand by what you think is best for you. If you don't want someone in your bridal party just say no. I have been/am being a bridesmaid in both my cousins weddings but they will not be standing up with me. If you think it will cause drama face it head on so people don't start talking behind your back and getting all worked up. Approach them and say this is what I'm doing, explain your reasoning and that should be it. I'm sure it will all work out, good luck & happy planning!

Pick the people closest to you... the people you enjoy spending time with. You'll be sharing your special moment with them. Its perfectly fine to explain that you chose people you are close to. You shouldn't feel obligated to pick anyone you don't wish to.

Look if everyone in your family knows how your sister and you get along then they will understand but if they don't then you will have to tell them. if she really going to be a huge problem for you then don't have her just put the people that are the closes to you.

Nope don't think you should have to. But if you fight a lot she could either A) Think you did that to spite her or B) Not be surprised (only you know how she would react -or even the rest of your family)

However you can have her participate in some way. Hopefully it wont lead to further tensions. I will tell you one thing as much as we try to avoid being the bad guy during planning there will be a time where you have to say "what is best for me" and stop trying to please everyone...you will realize that is nearly impossible

I don't think you have to have your sister in the wedding. If you are not close with her then why would she even want to be in your wedding? You need to choose the people that mean the most to you and are going to be there for you on the big day...and all the days leading up to it. Best Wishes.

I agree with everyone above. I chose 1 out several sis to stand up with me. I gave everyone else other prominent roles or readings, rehearsal speeches. Still the mom is not satisfied. I would definitely go with your heart and what you feel is most comfortable for you. Even if my sis pretended to know me so well or appeared that way to the rest of the family members, I know in my heart how she has treated me and made me feel over the years. I can't in my heart condone it all by honoring her as a bm, ppl who I feel really close to, who get me, and have proven to me to be most supportive in crucial pts in my life.

I'm including my half sister as a bridesmaid even though we aren't close. I know she'd be crushed if she wasn't in the bridal party and our relationship isn't volatile - it just isn't close.

I at first had my sister as a BM (my mom's choice not mine, tried to argue my point on it, but lost) I then got in a huge fight with her and she stepped down as BM and long story short, pick you who you want, not what tradition says, this day is about you and not what your family says how it has. or should be...stick to your instinct, wish I had...I wouldn't of gotten in a fight with my sister

I think if you dont get along with her then you shouldnt have her in your wedding. i mean your not obligated to have your sister as a bridesmaid. i asked my FH's sister to be a bridesmaid and i wish i hadnt because she doesnt show up for anything and just makes excuses, she will be demoted very soon. but yeah dont pick her if you think she'll make your day horrible, you dont need that. and if your family has something to say about it, stick up for yourself and tell them why you didnt pick her and if they dont like it then to bad. hope that helped

Wow, that's rough! You should set aside your differences and put her in the wedding. Maybe it will help mend your relationship. In the long run you will regret not putting her in your wedding, when you are more mature.

Thanks guys! Especially mdprocell, this really helps!

This one is a tough one. I have two sisters and didn't choose any one of them to be my bridesmaids or maids of honor. I chose my bestfriend who has been my Bestfriend since high school, considering we are in our 30s that is a long time. Now, both of my sisters are boycotting my wedding, and caused alot of friction in our family. So what ever decision you make just make sure your looking at the big picture, if i could go back I simply wouldn't have had any bridesmaids.

I'm having this problem now. I have never felt close to my sister. I have always felt like my parents just see me as a monster compared to her just because I'm not bright and bubbly. But she's always wanted this 'best-friends-and-sisters' relationship that I don't think we'll ever get. She even had me as one of her bridesmaids at her first wedding even though I had told her to not pick me. Now both her and my mom are extremely upset that I didn't pick her as one of mine. Even to the point where my mom has told me that this means I must hate her and wish for bad life for her. I've tried to explain but because my mom has always been close to her sisters I don't think she can understand how I'm just not close to mine. How do I tell her that I'm not trying to mean about it but that I just don't want her as a bridesmaid?

Wow I didn't realize I was the only one having this problem. I have the same issue. I DO NOT agree with some comments saying you should include her. When it is your wedding then you do what you want. People make your wedding about everyone but you when they try to obligate you to do something you don't want. I will say I think it is different when mom and dad are footing the bill, then they may have a bigger voice unfortunately but if you aren't close with your sister, cousin, in law, who ever or think they'll get on your nerves then you have a reason why. As for the comment stating it would be "more mature" if she just did it, I think you would be setting the tone for your future as to say because my family says I should then I have to. For anyone thinking they have to include a sister brother or anybody, YOU DONT! and if they love you and put you first on your day, they'll be ok and not give you a hard time.

Do not choose anyone you do not want to, because of outside pressure from families. Although in some families it is common to choose sisters or cousins, for most it is not. You simply are not close, that is reason enough. If she has positive feelings toward you, she can throw a shower for you, not a bm job but something that may be done by any close friend or female relative. And she can be a proud member of the family. It is not a clique or "in group." Your bridal party should be friends, who may or may not be family. You have a family bond, and a few years down the road, may be friends too. Now, you are not. And in close proximity there will develop bad feelings it may take a decade to get over. Your older family do not see that. But be wiser than they are and pick just a very few friends. The larger your wedding party, the harder to say no to a family member being added. So choose a few really good friends and stand firm.

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Same with me. I'm not close with my half sister, but I would feel terrible to not have her as a bridesmaid. I probably would regret it.

If you sister would make you upset, super stressed, etc. to the point that it would effect you on your wedding day, then perhaps it wouldn't be the best idea having her in the bridal party?

I have had a VERY rocky relationship with my sister, and in the past she has treated both me and my parents horribly. We have come to a place that I am able to forgive her, but of course we are not still super close.

I made two of my good friends maids of honor, and my sister is a bridesmaid. She took that really well and was very appreciative of even being in the bridal party. I guess it does mean a lot to people. She has even been pretty helpful and supportive. But again, I know every person can be different and it depends on your relationship!

All in all, you want a bridal party filled with people who are happy for you, cherish your relationship, and genuinely want to be there. One of my maids of honor has been incredibly selfish throughout the entire planning phase (has not helped with anything, left early from the bacherlotte she was throwing, etc).

At the end of the day drama is very chaotic and not needed, but your feelings and joy is integral!