Does anyone else feel stupid??

The things that make you go "hummmmmm"! My Fiance is actually the more rational party! He fussed and fussed about pricing until his mother offered to take care of the bulk of it. I just want my day to be perfect (as we all do), and I don't care what I have to spend the accomplish that!

I don't feel stupid, but it wasn't about "justifying" it either. We knew we wanted a nice celebration and we knew how much we wanted to spend. You have to be comfortable with what you're doing otherwise you might just resent it. We are comfortable with X and I would have never forgiven myself if we spent X times 100!

My wedding budget is $8K and my FH and I are paying for ourselves. It is hard? Yes! Do I sometimes wish that I had a bigger budget? Yes! Where I live (Richmond, VA), things are so effing expensive but honestly my wedding will look just as nice as someone with a $20K budget. I think we all get caught up in this fairy tale and forget about what comes after (I know that I have been guilty of it).

Like you, I'm not spending more than I can afford, but it still sucks when you're like "Wow, I could have done/bought _______ with the amount I'm spending on catering!"...but to answer your question of how do I justify it, I don't. I just try real hard not to think about it, lol

I'm only getting married once. Justified.

Thankfully we are only paying for part of the wedding but even on the things that people graciously gave...it was really difficult. I think the cakes may have been the hardest part. I can make an insanely delish cake for less than 3 dollars...I wanted to cry when we paid $650 for 2. Keep your chin up...from what I hear, this will all be worth it!

We're spending what we can afford to spend. that being said, it is still a lot of money! We've been saving for quite a long time. YES, sometimes I feel like it is ridiculous to spend that much money on one day.

I wouldn't say that it sucks the excitement out of it, but I totally know what you mean.

I agree with @OhHeyItsIna

We are keeping a small budget - $5k (realistic probably close to 7k).

This is a lot of money for us. We have found solace in our vendors all being local and or family friends. This is great because we always try to shop local and keep our $ in the community we live. It makes us feel good to know that the money we are spending is supporting businesses we love and people we know.

I don't feel stupid persay as one of my mottos is "life is not a dress rehearsal", so I figure if I'm going to be a shining star in this thing called life, might as well enjoy the ride to the fullest!

At times you do think about what other things you could be doing with the money, but then if you did those things, you'd be thinking what you could be doing in regards to your wedding...the mental battle can be taxing, but my suggestion is to enjoy the journey and know that this too shall pass....

When we were planning, my spouse said to me, "We're going to be married for the rest of our lives, so WHAT if it takes a while to pay for the wedding?"

We haven't gotten into any planning yet, well, we haven't together. I write out my list and run numbers on a daily basis but that is because I am obsessive over budgets and planning for things... A few months back I was looking at the main things we wanted, just a few tihngs, and realized that I could pay off my debt with that money and that made me SICK! So, I decided I would put every penny towards my debt and pay it off before we started making deposits toward larger items. I'm buying small items with each paycheck because it's fun to me.... If I tried paying off my debt and tried to plan a wedding I would hate seeing hundreds go to the debt when I could get something really nice for the wedding...or spend hundreds toward the wedding when I could get a little closer out of debt. I just had to figure out what was more important and being debt free (sadly this does not include my medical or new car) was more important.

@ABballerina, kudos to you! That sounds like a super smart and very financially responsible plan!

Thanks Dminted! I don't always like that idea when I see pretty things out there on pinterest or wherever... But it will feel awesome to pay for all those childish decisions! haha

Well, I kind of knew what we were getting ourselves into, going in, but it really only hit FI once we started looking at the type of venue we wanted, and he realized that he was NOT going to get a swankified venue that needs no decor on a $5000.00 budget. :-P It's as others have said--it's as simple as knowing what you want, and how much you're willing to pay to get that thing.

We aren't spending that much money, our whole wedding will cost about $8,000. I think in the end it will be worth it years down the road when we look back on it all.

Coming from a family of divorce (even some of my great grandparents were divorced, back when *no one* got divorced!), I couldn't buy into the 'you only marry once' metality but I did look long and hard at each decision and think "Will I have more fun because I have....? Will I look back fondly on....?" and that's what it all became about-- having something great to remember, cause that lasts a heck of a lot longer than the wedding itself. Yeah, I spent $15k on one day, but I've been looking back fondly for 15 years and counting, and it's getting to be a better bargain every year!

I'm just not spending that money. Our budget is extremely low and I'm doing a lot all by myself (food is the biggest thing)...and even though I know I have a lot of work...the work/stress will be worth it when instead of spending $15k on one day...I'm spending $2k and keeping that extra $13k for our house. Different strokes for different folks. It's all up to your area and how you look at weddings.

I don't feel stupid. We have both been married before and both did JOP the first time. I've worked since I was 15. Moved out of my parent's house at 18. I put myself through school while supporting myself as an undergrad. I got divorced at 26 with a 7 month old. I put myself through grad school as a single mom. I bought my own house without anyone's help. I've sacrificed a LOT over the past 11 years in order to provide for my child. As far as I see it, I deserve this. The only justification we needed was what amount could we reasonably spend and still have what we wanted.

I don't feel stupid. I had some "mini meltdowns" over the budget during the course of planning, but it was usually that I forgot to add in gratuity and taxes. Oh and seeing the photography prices. But I knew I wanted an amazing special day, so I saved up as much as I could, had help from parents and made it work. I loved my day and wouldn't change it for the world. Sure I sometimes think, wow we spent x on our wedding when I could have bought a car, huge down payment on a house, remodel of the kitchen on the house, etc. But then I think, nope, it was worth every cent!