Do you need a engagement party, wedding shower, rehearsal dinner and all that?

My understanding is engagement party and wedding shower are thrown/host by someone close to you. Rehearsal dinner can be skip too if you don't actually need to rehearse. So the answer is you don't need all the other events.

I am not having any of the event but rehearsal dinner.

My bridesmaids are putting together the bridal shower and bachelorette party. We probably will be paying for reversal dinner, my venue offered up to 40 people for 1000 which isn't too bad

Thanks! That's so good to know about the shower and engagement party's. We just got engaged and I'm still new to all this lol. I think I'm going to just stick with the rehearsal dinner because we will more then likely have to rehears lol

No offense intended, but the word is etiquacy. We just use the word "etiquette" -- a lot.

You're sweating over hosted events -- at least most of them.

An engagement party is hosted by someone else -- not the bridal couple. If nobody hosts one for you and your intended (and plenty of couples don't have engagement parties), don't worry about it and don't host one for yourselves.

Next, the wedding shower. Technically, a bride is not entitled to a wedding shower. If her honor attendants, with her Maid/Matron of Honor at the helm, choose to arrange one, all you have to do is provide addresses of friends and/or family members you'd like to attend. The bachelorette party (if your attendants choose to host one) follows the same protocol.

The Rehearsal Dinner. The RD should include both sets of parents, all siblings (and spouses or significant others of those sibling), all honor attendants (and their spouses or significant others), and the flower girl/ring bearer and his/her parents. I think inviting living grandparents is the right thing to do, but that's up to the couple (personally, I grab every opportunity to honor the matriarchs and patriarchs in both families). Some couples invite out of town guests, by that isn't a requirement. Old school says that the parents of the groom finance this dinner, but today, it is customary for the couple to absorb any costs associated with the RD. It can be as elaborate or laid back as you want (from a steak house/open bar dinner to a pizza/soda dinner at someone's home or at a modest restaurant).

The RD is the only thing that you are responsible for -- and that's only if you ask your attendants to attend an actual rehearsal the day before your wedding (you have the rehearsal, and then all of you have food and drink -- on your dime).

Hope that helps.

Yeah, that helps. Like I said, I'm still new to all this. Last wedding i went to, was when i was a kid. So i have no prior experience to weddings. And don't exactly have family who can help either. So sorry if that seemed like a dumb question. I just want to make sure I'm doing everything right. Wedding planing is alot harder then it looks in the movies. Specialty when your as clueless as me. With me and my wedding party it's like the blind leading the blind at the moment lol

Oh, no, please, don't apologize -- you didn't ask a dumb question. We're here to help, honestly. You're just starting out. Of course you aren't sure of what to do -- after all, they don't teach this stuff in school.

Welcome, Sharon and jr. Hang around and post as often as you want to.

thanks.

No engagement party, but my bridesmaids are throwing me a shower and we are providing a rehearsal dinner.

The rehearsal dinner do sent have to be fancy, but it would be important that you pay for food and drinks. Pizza and wine/beer would be fine!

You don't need everything and people are supposed to throw these types of things In Your honor.

Only rehearsal dinners are hosted by the couple (or sometimes the parents). If you don't rehearse, you don't need a RD. All those other events you mentioned are thrown FOR you, not by you, IF someone offers to host them. For instance, e-parties are less common. They're all optional!

If you have a rehearsal you need a rehearsal dinner. The other events should be thrown for you and not hosted by you so it's not really your choice to throw or not.

We didn't have an engagement party but my sister and bridesmaids are throwing me a bridal shower and my FILs are hosting a rehearsal dinner.

My MOH and mom is hosting my bridal shower and MOH is hosting my bachelorette party. My FMIL is hosting the rehearsal dinner.

No RD for us as there will be no rehearsal. And no engagement party, bachelor/bachelorette party or wedding shower either. Just ceremony & reception. Easy peasy!

You don't throw those events! The engagement party is traditionally hosted by the bride's parents, the showers are traditionally hosted by friends of the bride or her family (godmother, cousin, bridesmaid, etc, but not the bride's immediate family), and the rehearsal dinner is traditionally hosted by the groom's parents.

Sharon, I suggest reading a book called "A practical wedding" many of the parties or "traditions" are not neccesary. Do what is within your budget and decide what kind of wedding you want. We did not have an engagement party, and we are just ordering pizza for the rehersal dinner. Niether of these dinners are traditional so dont feel obliged to have them.

ALECIA, we advised her the same. I'd be interested in hearing more cost saving ideas from this book.

Your bridal party should host your bridal shower for you. The groom's parents are responsible for the dinner rehearsal. The engagement party isn't necessary. Your announcement through save the dates sums it up.

You only need a rehearsal dinner if you have a rehearsal. Rehearsal dinners can be very casual too. Taking everyone out for pizza (on your dime) will suffice!

1. None of them are necessary, except that the rehearsal dinner is necessary if you have a rehearsal. Even then, it can be very simple (e.g., a pizza party), and just for those actually in the wedding. But if you want to avoid it altogether, just don't have a rehearsal (which is really unnecessary).

2. All of them but the rehearsal dinner happen only if someone else volunteers to host, so they are not a cost for you.