Do you invite your out of town guests to your rehearsal dinner when it is...

OMG... so many arguments with my mother about this. If we invited all of the out of town guests our list would have been 50-60 people. That is not fair to my FH because he has no money and he set aside $1000 for it, so it is only fair that we have just the wedding party at the rehearsal. It is whatever you want to do! I have even been told that a lot of people do fun stuff like bowling, bars, movies, etc. the night of the rehearsal dinner.

First of all I should have mentioned that FH's parents are giving us $500 towards this event. Just with the wedding party, their spouses and family ie grandparents, special aunts etc we are looking at 46 people already. Then you add out of town guests 150 (fingers cross that is all that RSVP).

Honestly, you are not required to invite anyone other than who is in your bridal party. You COULD even say that their families aren't invited... just the members of the bridal party (we aren't doing that though).We are inviting our bridal party and immediate family (one of FH's GMs has a wife and three kids who are invited b/c one of the girls is our flower girl)..... no dates, no grandparents, etc. We had nosy out-of-towners that inquired into it and we said that we obviously couldn't stop them from coming to the same restaurant, but we were only paying for those in the wedding party. If you aren't in the bridal party, tough sh&*. Also, we're paying for a few pitchers of Sangria and that's it. We're paying for your drinks tomorrow. I don't feel bad for you.... LOL

Sorry, can you tell the stress is getting to me?!

NAB..first love the new photo! I guess I just hate to hurt peoples feelings. Argh. It also doesn't help that FMIL want's so and so and so and so, but is only giving us $500. I am like...does it look like we are made of money?? I mean if I have to pay don't I get to choose? $500 is not going to go far with the meal and people she wants. It would end up costing FH and I almost another $1000...WTF is up with that. I wish I was in town for your wedding I would soooo drive up to MD and crash! :-)

LOL awww Jaemi I wish you could come! I wish I could have my WW girls with me instead of some of the guests.......... but I promise to posts pictures once I get them! I just can't believe it's coming up so fast!

I sadly will be at my cousins wedding up in MA. She is soooooo a bridezilla. Ugh, I promise I wouldn't eat anything just dance my tail off ;-) Stupid family...

I think the rehearsal dinner should be kinda selective, I mean why have it if it's everybody! Its like an extra thanks for those in the party and those you don't see all that often....but since that's everybody...I think you're perfectly ok not inviting them all!

Don't worry about hurting peoples feelings! They should be honored to come and take part in your special day! I am still having an issue with us having to pay people to come to the wedding, haha (Paying for their meal, drinks, dessert, etc.)! That is just the total cheap side of me!

Kiera you make a good point. I was thinking of having it be closed for an hour or two just the smaller group of 46 *gulp* and then opening it up. I guess I am just thinking since everyone is coming so far I just want them to have something to do. I should realize they are adults and can figure it out.

We have a lot of out of town guests as well, but we're keeping the rehearsal dinner limited to the parents, grandparents, bridal party and their guests. We're also planning to invite our officiant. I think it's totally cool keeping the list limited!

About 2/3 of our guest list is out of town as well, and we had issues discussing this. In the end, I told FMIL that it was her choice, as all of her guests, and about half of FH's and my own guests are out of town. She is paying for it, and the difference is about 40 people vs 150 people. I think we're going smaller, and at first I was worried people would be offended, but really? 150 people at a rehearsal dinner? That's just crazy. And it leaves my family out of the loop, which I didnt like.

I think it is VERY acceptable to just do the bridal party- a rehearsal is really for only them anyway. It's more of a thank you to them then a thank you to out of town guests anyway.

Thanks guys, I agree and that is what I planned all along but then this weekend at the FILs my FMIL said "oooh you were not planning on inviting...." Ummm no. She has wanted nothing to do with this wedding and now is all fired up that we are not inviting all of her family and out of town guest. Well then give us more than $500 and I will be happy to accomadate 100 people. (Sorry little vent there!)

OMG, I'm in the same position. My FMIL wants to invite all of her OOTs to the rehearsal dinner which I'd rather not do. She's also complaining because she can only in 35 ppl total, including herself & FH immediate family (not my fault they have litters). If she wants to invite more ppl then fork over the cash. UGH, we should've eloped.