Do you and FH have a "rule" about how much you give as a cash gift?

$100 per person usually, so $200 assuming we're both invited. If invited to a bridal shower I would give a $50 physical gift or so on top of the $100/$200, or a $100 physical gift then subtract 50 at the wedding? Aka max gift is $250.

We're 23 and haven't been to that many weddings to have this amount be an issue.

We tend to give about $300 - $350 (from the both of us). In my area, no couple is hosting a plated reception with an open bar for less than $120 - $160 PP, and so I feel this amount is fair. That's not to say I wouldn't give a very generous gift to someone very close to me who had a smaller, more modest wedding, but most of the weddings I attend as a guest aren't really budget or intimate weddings.

Cupcake bride, your gift amounts are not cheap.

We too do it based on how close we are to the couple. Our best friends got married last year, his best man and one of my bridesmaids, we gave them a very generous gift, plus I spent a lot on a shower gift, total spent about $400. We haven't spent as much on other weddings we went to of friends that are less close or family.

It depends on if I'm invited to the shower. The last wedding I went to, I gave them a $100 shower gift and $100 cash at the wedding. FH was in the bridal party and we spent a lot of money for him to be a part of the wedding so that played into how much we gave. Usually I'll give $100 per person to the couple (to cover his and my plate).

We always try to cover the cost of our plate, and if we are very good friends with the couple we will give more. So far we have given anywhere between $150 - $250.

The "cover your plate rule" is not an etiquette guideline. It's something people made up that has caught on in certain regions. It's actually quite an unfair "rule" since not every guest can afford to cover the high per plate cost of many weddings. It should never be expected that guests will cover the reception that the couple chooses to throw. Gifting should be based on what you can afford and / or closeness to the couple.

That said, I usually give $300-$400 for a wedding gift and spend $100 on a shower gift (from the registry).

We have slowly been increasing the amount we give, mostly because as we have gotten a bit earlier we have realized both the need to as well as an ability to give more. We are attending a wedding next weekend and I think we will give at least $200, but we used to give $150-180 total.

Dang I feel cheap! In reality though, here wedding food averages around $10pp! Way cheaper than in most of your cities, I'm guessing! Most weddings I have been to in my area are in the $5pp range! We usually give $100 to people we don't really hang out with, outside of work parties. Here, that is an awful lot of money! Maybe because we live in one of the poorest states in the country. The most expensive catering I have seen in my area is $25pp! Also all the weddings I have been to here have a "serve yourself" bar. They buy the beer, wine, and champagne and you serve yourself.

We give depending on our relationship with the couple. We were invited to 4 wedding this year:

January wedding college friend he sees 4 - 5 times a year. We did not attend the wedding (we knew they were moving, so we dropped it off at the reception) but gave $200 cash in a card. Have yet to receive a thank you.

April wedding a very close friend he sees regularly.. We attended this wedding and were both invited to the couple shower. We purchased 2 gifts for the shower (linens) and 1 for the wedding (vase) totaling $500.

The last 2 weddings were DW (1 in Jamaica the other in Mexico) one of my co-workers and my cousin I have seen or spoken to in 15 years (she lives in another state) we choose not to attend solely based on the expenses for travel and accommodations. We sent each of them $200.

ETA: Offering a gift to cover the cost the couple paid to invite is not used in California to my knowledge. If it is, I don't participate. If you want me there I shouldn't have to pay for my meal and drinks.

We normally do $100 if we go, $50 if we don't. I think we will change that now we have had our own wedding.

We always do $202 (2$ bill for luck) and $50 shower gift. FBIL just got married and we did $250 (because I forgot the $2) and $150 shower gift. FH wanted to given $500 but he was in the wedding so due to the amount we had to put out for that I got that idea right out of his head.

If we decline an invitation, we usually send up to $400 in cash or in gift but prefer cash. If we accept an invite we get a $150-200 gift and $200 in cash. That's our limit. We get invited to a lot of weddings! LOL

We do not necessarily have a rule but we both must agree on it. We only attend weddings if we are really close to the person. We gift $100-200 always cash.

We haven't been to lots of weddings actually just my FBIL we gave 100 pound ($180) Ikea gift certificate. Their wedding cost 2000 pound so I think that was generous for an pay bar which I only ate rolls at. I dunno what I expect to receive from ours. I think the amounts some of you are mentioning is quite a lot. I think when we are established we would give that amount though. I don't expect that from my broke 24 year old friends or my FH 's family/friends as they are already paying so much to come to the wedding. *shrugs*

For FBILs wedding we gave $800 plus $300 for total rehearsal bar tab- but that's a family member! Most weddings we give 150-200 for wedding cash and 50-100 shower gift if invited it all depends!

I live in Indiana and unless you are a best friend or a family member you are giving a $25 gift at the shower and a $25-$40 gift at the wedding. Around here you give boxed gifts at the wedding most of the time. The most expensive gift I have ever personally given at a wedding was a $70 juicer my best friend put on her registry.

Call me cheap, if I have to spend a lot of money either being in the wedding, or traveling, I skip a gift altogether. The general limit is $500. Once I've gone there, I figure it's gift enough.

This is crazy! Money isn't a big gift where I am. I received less than $2,000 total (from 120ish). I come from a boxed-gift area. I couldn't imagine giving a couple hundreds of dollars. It's nice, don't get me wrong, but weird where I'm from.

We give boxed gifts - usually around $50-100 worth a couple.

Karen - we're the same. I've never bought a present if I was in the bridal party, and my bridesmaids didn't buy me anything.

In the past we have given $40-80 in cash or fist to close co-workers and $150 cash to family. We were not in a position to give more then that. Moving forward it will depend on who you are. The big thing is we talk about it and agree on it.

I want to live where you all live or at least have invited you all to my wedding! We didn't receive that much money because most people here give gifts off the registry versus writing a check! If they do give money it's usually between $50 - $200 regardless. We had a ton of boxed gifts versus money.