M
Savvy May 2018

Do i talk to every guest at my wedding?

MayBride2018, on March 20, 2018 at 10:34 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 69
Saved
Reply

Hi everyone,

My wedding is coming up we are expecting at least 300 guest. During the planning process his mom who is super """"traditional"""" told me I have to talk to e v e r y single guest and spend at least five minutes with them. I told her that we are paying for the wedding while I appreciate my guest being there I also want to be able to enjoy the night with my husband and actually eat my meal and enjoy the night dancing and what not. . My mother in law got pissed off that I told that and that if we had time we would try to talk to every but that we would make a big thank you at the wedding thanking all our guest for coming during dinner. Do I have to talk to every single guest? I Feel like their is not enough time to talk to every single person in our timeline or would it be wrong not to and just make a thank you speech in case we don't get to everyone.

69 Comments

Latest activity by Millicent, on August 4, 2019 at 3:50 AM
  • fallinthegarden
    Master October 2017
    fallinthegarden ·
    • Flag

    Yes, you have to talk to everyone. If all you wanted to do was talk to your husband and dance, why did you invite 300 other people? You don't have to spend a lot of time with everyone, and with your guest list you won't have time to, but you have to at least say hello and thank you to everyone. You can do a receiving line or table visits to do this efficiently, but you have to do it.

    • Reply
  • O
    Master October 2017
    O ·
    • Flag
    Yes, you have to talk at least for a few minutes to every guest. If you didn't want to do that then you should have had a smaller guest list.
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Danihel
    Expert May 2018
    Mrs. Danihel ·
    • Flag
    Yes, like fallinthegarden said, you have to at the very least say hello and thank you to everyone who attends your wedding.
    • Reply
  • Mrsbdg
    Champion August 2017
    Mrsbdg ·
    • Flag
    I agree with fallinthegarden. My cousin had a 200 person wedding and had no time to eat or party with her guests. I chose a small wedding so we could make our rounds saying hello and thanking everyone and stil have time to party.

    Can you do a first look and pictures ahead of time? Could you maybe start your rounds during cocktail hour so you can enjoy part of your reception?
    • Reply
  • JerseyGirl
    Master May 2017
    JerseyGirl ·
    • Flag
    This is the main reason we kept our list at 60. Yes you need to talk to everyone. You both are the host and hostess. The host and hostess always greet every guest. I would be super hurt if I never even got to talk to the couple at the reception.
    • Reply
  • Daria
    VIP January 2019
    Daria ·
    • Flag

    Yes, you need to. If you didn't want to spend that much time with your guests, you shouldn't have invited so many. Most brides and grooms will eat their dinner first, and then go around and visit tables during the rest of the dinner. It's an efficient way to get through them all and make sure nobody is missed. You don't need to spend a long time at each one, though.

    • Reply
  • Talullah
    VIP May 2018
    Talullah ·
    • Flag
    You are the host, of course you need to speak with every guest. You must acknowledge each and every one individually. If you didn't want to spend the night talking wih people, you shouldnt have invited 300. You need to find the time to speak with them all.
    • Reply
  • Mrs.Whooooo
    Master May 2017
    Mrs.Whooooo ·
    • Flag
    Why would you invite that many people if you don’t plan on talking to them?
    • Reply
  • M
    Savvy May 2018
    MayBride2018 ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I never said I would not acknowledge all my guest. I simply stated that if we could not get to every guest I do not see why it would be wrong to just make a general thanks in case we didn't get to them all throughout the night? I was seeing if everyone who has had a wedding has talked to every single guest in regards to getting everything done in your timeline with that big of a wedding. I might have worded it wrong. We are inviting 300 because I have a huge family and he has a small family but a lot of family friends who will be celebrating with us.
    • Reply
  • Rozenbook
    Expert August 2018
    Rozenbook ·
    • Flag
    Ok, so realistically you have to attempt to speak with everyone. Given it will be obvious how many people are there, I'm certain most will not expect you to get to everyone. They may try to say hi as a courtesy. I had to keep telling my friend who was the one getting married last summer that we were happy he said hi, but to make sure he enjoyed his time with his new wife and all the effort they put into the wedding. Definitely acknowlwdge and thank everyone attending with a small speech and mention you will do your best to speak to everyone.

    Ettiquette and reality do not always work together. I've had to balance ettiquette and what can actually happen during my planning so far.
    To help with meeting with some of my guests my FMIL mentioned to me that they had help with the fact they are polish and traditionally their family has dollar dances at their weddings. This was not a grab for money at all. It is to help those who really want to have a dance or moment with the bride or groom. Yes it's a little money but I'm just saying they could drop spare change like a penny or something to reserve their time during the dance.

    After I heard about thus dance being traditional in my fiance' s family I spoke with him and he said that he almost forgot to bring it up to me that he wanted to keep that tradition. It's one of the very few requests he's had for the wedding and so I'm going with it.

    Sorry this is so long, but maybe ask in laws and famiky if there are meet and greet type traditions to help with thanking all of the guests
    • Reply
  • mjfortwedding
    Expert April 2018
    mjfortwedding ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    This. We went to a wedding and we never got to even say hello to the B&G except when they were being taken past our table to say hello to someone else. 🙄 the groom was my FH’s cousin and I hadn’t met him before so I wanted a chance to say hello even if that was all we said but know it was intentional not just bc they had to go past our table to get to someone else. ( we also never got a thank you card from them for the gift so I’m still salty about that) these two things put a bad taste in my mouth about them but we invited them to our wedding but I was hesitant, they did accept the invitation though so we shall see.
    • Reply
  • Nicole
    Expert September 2018
    Nicole ·
    • Flag

    Would you invite someone to a party at your home and then not speak to them?
    You are the host of your wedding, so you have to act like it.

    • Reply
  • M
    Savvy May 2018
    MayBride2018 ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I'm sure everyone who has huge wedding more then 300 guest or so don't talk to every single guest. But yes eating dinner and talking to guest after we are done having our meals would be the most efficient time to talk to people. I also do not think 5 minutes with everyone is a rule, maybe a short conversation or thanks with every couple at the table would suffice to get around to every table.


    • Reply
  • M
    Savvy May 2018
    MayBride2018 ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I'm glad you mentioned this. I did bring this up to my mother in law doing the dollar dance to have time with guest in case they want to spend more one on one time with us. It is a tradition in our culture. She stated that it was tacky.

    • Reply
  • M
    Savvy May 2018
    MayBride2018 ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I never said I would not acknowledge all my guest. I simply stated that if we could not get to every guest I do not see why it would be wrong to just make a general thanks in case we didn't get to them all throughout the night? I was seeing if everyone who has had a wedding has talked to every single guest in regards to getting everything done in your timeline with that big of a wedding. I might have worded it wrong. We are inviting 300 because I have a huge family and he has a small family but a lot of family friends who will be celebrating with us.

    • Reply
  • Mrs.Henderson2b
    Expert June 2018
    Mrs.Henderson2b ·
    • Flag
    I’d say have a conversation with everyone at each table. Not five minutes but at least 2-3 mins per table. Then you and hubby can thank everyone in a general speech for coming. We’re inviting a lot of ppl too. We both have large families. That’s what we’re planning to do.
    • Reply
  • WED18
    July 1993
    WED18 ·
    • Flag

    I've been to weddings in the 250-300 range and the couples made table visits and spoke to everyone, still managed to eat, and dance. It's a busy night for sure, but only right to greet everyone personally.

    • Reply
  • Vanessasaurus
    VIP June 2019
    Vanessasaurus ·
    • Flag

    My sister had a 67 person wedding and said it was hard to get around to everyone! Seriously consider if you need to invite 300 people because you should try to talk to all your guests!

    • Reply
  • M
    Savvy May 2018
    MayBride2018 ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    While it would be great to keep our guest list at 60 that would not work out with my family or his. I do not think I would be super hurt. I've been part of multiple wedding and have been to weddings and know how busy they are and how much work goes into wedding and the timelines they follow. My question or comment was in concern into people who have had large wedding like mine or larger if they have had enough time to talk to every guest or have made a thanks thanking their guest for being there in case they didn't get to them if that would be wrong. I never said I would ignore or just not talk to people of course I would acknowledge my guest. I also do not think its wrong to want to enjoy your wedding either.

    • Reply
  • Mrsbdg
    Champion August 2017
    Mrsbdg ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    In most areas of the US it is considered a money grab and really tacky, just a warning.

    If you are in mixed company maybe just do a penny or nickel or something because requiring guests to dig into their pockets to spend time with you because you hosted too many people than you could host well just leaves a bad taste in mouths.
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics