Do I include my brother's wife as a bridesmaid??? HELP!

You don't have to include her, I was glad my sil didn't ask me to be one of her bm. I hate socializing lol

My 3 sisters are in my wedding, but my BIL and soon to be BIL aren't. Why would FH have them as groomsmen when they aren't his friends. On the flip side, FH's 2 sisters are also BM's. One I am closer with than the other and she is actually the one that set us up and I didn't want to leave his other sister out so I can see both sides.

Talk to SIL directly. If she is amenable, give her some special role. Reading is good.

Are you close? I had all my sisters and future SIL in my wedding. It was uneven. I had more girls than guys. Here we are fast forward 16 years I've know my SIL AND we've been so close! I am not in her wedding in 3 weeks. I'm hurt, but I am not going to let it ruin her day or my relationship with her. She has a lot of close friends and family., it was so hard for her to choose. I feel like it should be the same with you. Just because you were in hers, doesn't necessarily mean she needs to be in yours. It is your decision, not your mom's or hers. If she is really going to cause a ripple or trouble over it, that is a good sign that she should NOT be a BM. No bride should be asking someone to be a BM out of obgligation. Stand your ground, not because it's already uneven, that can always be worked out, but because this is about what YOU want. You can't please everyone.

I asked FSIL to be a bridesmaid. We are not super close (no bad relationship, just live far and haven't gotten to know one another very well). Because we aren't as close as I'd liked I asked her to be a bridesmaid to get to know each other better and because I wanted to include her in some way. This was the best way for me to include her. I do not regret asking her.

I wouldn't include her. It doesn't sound like you guys are close and you having been in her wedding should have no bearing on whether or not you include her in yours. Also, I know others are saying that the numbers on each side don't have to match, but my OCD says they do. Ultimately, its up to you and your FH not your mom, SIL, brother, etc.

I'm having my FH sister as a bridesmaid and my fiance is having my brother as a groomsmen. I'm not having his 'wife' as a bridesmaid. We're even (I'm obsessive compulsive like that).

Sounds like you're more concerned about how people will look walking down the aisle than trying to be inclusive of your sister-in-law..something she did for you. What's one more person? So one of two groomsmen get to have a gorgeous lady on both arms, what's the big deal. She's a big part of your brother's wife, she will be your "sister" too, and it would make your mom happy. Just do it.

Personally, I would just invite her to be a BM. Unequal sides are totally okay, but the drama if you don't ask your SIL may not be worth it. Don't be bullied into it, though, if you really do not want her in the BP.

Just have her in it and avoid the drama.

If all the other siblings have been asked to be a part of the bridesmaids...and the only reason you’re not asking her is bc of her health....I think you need to put love over being bias. She didn’t ask to have Crohn’s, the last thing someone like that wants, is to be treated differently as if she got to choose her ailment. This is going to be your future family, why in the world would you even risk starting it off with this kind of tension. Not cool at all. This may be your wedding day...but this decision is regarding a soon-to-be Family member....and FAMILY should ALWAYS come first!!!