Do i include his sisters???

You should have the people who love and respect next to you during the ceremony. If you don’t feel close to them then don’t invite them into your bridal party. Not even if it’s to “bond” because they’ll just make your life a living hell.

Your bridal party is a huge part of your day. i would personally leave them out due to fear that they would sabotage my wedding day. the day is about you and your hubby, not them so not including them is totally okay. theres nothing that says that they have to be included. im not close with my hubbys sister so im not planning to include her and no feelings will be hurt there so i dont see an issue with it. he, on the other hand, is including my brother in his party because they are buddies. to keep it simple, i say dont include anyone who isnt considered a friend. unfortunately weddings can bring out a ton of drama and if they already cause you issues as-is, i would opt out on welcoming them into yours. i know many, many people who havent included siblings in parties and thats perfectly fine. as far as i know, there is no etiquette on who to invite into your party and even if there were, it would be okay to defy those standards because its your wedding day and theres no right or wrong way to do things as everyone is different. good luck!!!

Leave them out! There is no obligation to include them and I think any decision to have them in the bridal party should only because you genuinely want them to be in the party.

No I wouldn't. FSILs are not guaranteed a role in the bridal party. Also, if they have not been friendly to you why give them an important role? You should have those that love you by your side and it's clearly not them.

Everything you described is the opposite of someone you would choose to stand next to you on your wedding day. So, no... I wouldn’t include them in the bridal party. I feel like that could become unnecessary stress. However, to avoid stepping on toes (if you feel like that will be the reaction), then excitedly assign them an alternate role to play that you can easily get someone else to do if they don’t follow through (ie. each do a reading in the ceremony or act as greeters to welcome guests and pass out programs, etc).

I think the better question is why would you have them in your wedding?

I wouldn't. There is enough stress and drama without including people that will only cause more stress and drama. It sounds like his sisters aren't the nicest people so having them as bridesmaids would be more of a headache than it is worth. Only have people that you are close to as bridesmaids.

Nope I wouldn't and even if the relationship between you and them heals and grows I still wouldn't ask them to be in your bridal party its not a requirement they can be guest and that's fine I also feel like it will help keep the relationship organic as it grows.

My FH sisters havent been the nicest to me either. For example, the one is best friends with my FH’s ex and brings her up constantly. I decided to ask them to be bridesmaids in hopes that this will show them that I really want them to be a part of our lives. They have become a bit nicer with me since asking so i hope it continues to get better. I think it’s a nice thing to do! I also felt weird if I didn’t ask them because my sister is in the party and my FH wanted my brother as one of his groomsmen.

Nope. Giving them a BM role won’t change their attitude. And it could lead to drama or moreawkwardness. Perhaps if your FH asks them to stand with him, but only if he’s close to them. Giving them any other role (reader, usher, etc) won’t help the relationship-I wouldn’t do it.

I can see both sides of this! Overall, I do agree that it is your day and if you are worried that you will be stressing over them on the wedding day if they are included, then don't! But on the other side of the fence, you want to build a relationship with these girls (and will "be the bigger person" in everyone's eyes and your own) if you take the first step to include them. Including them could also mean a wide range of things, not just limited to being a part of the wedding party - invite them to the bridal shower, go shopping together for their dresses and FMIL's dress, get their opinion on the shoes you want to buy (even if you don't choose their opinion), and the list goes on! Part of me worries about having them do a ceremony reading, toast, or greet guests if they're known to be rude and its not just indifference.

I was in a very similar situation with my BIL's wife - on both sides of it!

- She started dating my husbands brother in 2014, husband and I started dating in 2015

- They got married in 2017, and her and I didn't know each other well/had a few strong differences of opinion so I was not in her wedding party. Our MIL did plan her bridal shower and asked me to help so I did attend that

- We got married in 2019 and I had reached out to her a few times during wedding planning, and she seemed mildly indifferent (although apparently she had been begging BIL to tell us she wanted to be a bridesmaid and get hair and makeup done). Ultimately, I invited her to be a bridesmaid to "be the bigger person". My MIL and BIL (and her!) were absolutely thrilled. On the wedding day she kindof just hung out on her phone getting ready and wanted to hang out with the guys once they arrived to get ready instead of us. After the ceremony + dinner she changed out of her bridesmaid dress and into another dress she brought. All of these things were definitely annoying to me, but nothing catastrophic.

If I had to do it again, I would likely still include her just because this is the olive branch that started building our relationship, but I think the difference is she has never been outright mean to me...she just seems a little oblivious/selfish to other people. Only you know these girls, and if they're outright mean to you, I might try and do a little something to make them feel included/special, but wouldn't want them in a position to stress me out on my wedding day Good luck!!

My bridal party included my sister, two brothers (yes I had my brothers standing on my side as bridesmen), and my best friend. I wanted to have the people who have been with my at my highest as well as my lowest stand with me on the happiest day of my life. I've only been around for three years and also only see his two sisters at Christmas so I didn't include them as my bridesmaids.

No way.


I also just want to point out, or reiterate if it’s been said, including someone in a BP to try to get closer to them almost never works and frequently backfires. Instead it leads to drama and disagreement and strong opinions etc etc. with complaints or pushiness about dresses/accessories/make up or them not being as involved as you like. Including them sounds like it would make the situation MORE stressful. No way. Surround yourself with your nearest and dearest!!

If things change then yes, there is time and hope. However, if they are still acting the same then no. It sounds like they are making the choice not be to a part of their brothers day by having bad attitudes. Thats not on you.

I don't think you should have them as bridesmaids. I can't stand that some people feel you "have to" because they're going to be your "sisters." You definitely don't have to - especially if they haven't treated you very well. I don't think anyone's feelings will be hurt. That's great that your fiancé supports your decision!

I didn't ask my fiancee's sisters and I am actually pretty close to them.. I just kept it to my friends. I am including them in other "bridal party" events though.

Haha so we are in the same boat because I am the B that stole her brother in her eyes. She refused to talk to either one of us for the past year. Before that we all got along super well and would talk all the time. My fiancé and I still wanted to include her because she is family, but when asked she said no. I was a little hurt because of seeing how upset my fiancé was about it. He had a one on one with her about why she suddenly hates me and thought he had finally gotten through to her. But Christmas rolled around and she purposely excluded me from gift giving which caused his family to get upset about the situation too. Now my fiancé doesnt even want her at the wedding and told me to go ahead and ask my backup bridesmaid.


Ultimately would I have liked her in the wedding. Yes. But I would much rather have my bridal party be filled with people who love and support me.