Do a lot of brides include their groom's side in activities and the wedding?

I dont really have alot of expertise in this area, as I am newly engaged and haven't planned any weddings. I was just a bridesmaid once. I think it kind of depends on the relationship the bride has with the grooms side of the family. Also my fh told me that the bride's family by tradition incurs most of the wedding cost. In that case maybe they felt (bride's family) they had more say over the wedding plans. I'm not really to sure. I dont think most men have alot of involvment in the wedding because we as women for the most part are natural planners. I dont think your brother meant to omit your side of the family. I think he just wanted to let his bride take care of everything because maybe she is really good at it and didnt intentionally overlook his family. I also dont think the bride meant to omit you guys either. With all the excitement and things to do, and her family talking and helping her out constantly. She probably got caught up in all the things to do. Overall I think that it can go both ways where both families are involved equally and then there's the 80/20 , etc. Congrats on the wedding celebration!

I dont really have alot of expertise in this area, as I am newly engaged and haven't planned any weddings. I was just a bridesmaid once. I think it kind of depends on the relationship the bride has with the grooms side of the family. Also my fh told me that the bride's family by tradition incurs most of the wedding cost. In that case maybe they felt (bride's family) they had more say over the wedding plans. I'm not really to sure. I dont think most men have alot of involvment in the wedding because we as women for the most part are natural planners. I dont think your brother meant to omit your side of the family. I think he just wanted to let his bride take care of everything because maybe she is really good at it and didnt intentionally overlook his family. I also dont think the bride meant to omit you guys either. With all the excitement and things to do, and her family talking and helping her out constantly. She probably got caught up in all the things to do. Overall I think that it can go both ways where both families are involved equally and then there's the 80/20 , etc. Congrats on the wedding celebration!

My father and his ex-wife split the actual wedding costs with the bride's side of the family. My father's ex paid for the rehearsal dinner and my father is also paying for their honeymoon to Mexico(they are going in June)

My FH's family is very heavily involved in my wedding. I've invited his mother to come along with me venue and dress shopping, and we've gone to Hobby Lobby to look at stuff for inspiration. My FSIL got married at the courthouse, so I can tell she feels like she missed on that "mother daughter" relationship for her daughter's wedding, so for the most part, I don't mind that she clings on to me to have that moment. Both of my FSILs (one is my FBIL's fiance) are in my wedding party. My one FSIL who is FH's sister, my FSIL and I all have a shared Pinterest board for my wedding. I love it, actually. Also, it's my FSIL's kids that are my ring bearer/flowergirls since we don't have small kids on my side of the family.

I know I've bitched about my FMIL in regards to the guest list, but otherwise I love that they are so involved. My mother is involved, but she keeps an arms distance at times because she's told me several times how guilty she feels that she can't pay for everything despite me telling her that it's 2015 and she shouldn't be expected to. So to have them pitching actually really great ideas and showing me things they've seen, makes me feel even better about joining their family.

Unless you have monster in laws, I think it's really lame when the groom's family isn't involved at all. It is technically joining two families. The wedding shouldn't be all about the bride. Nor the bride's family. Regardless of who is paying.

It depends on the bride and groom....I asked FSILs to be bridesmaids because it meant a lot to FH. The wedding is about the two of them coming together in marriage. Not about trying to please the entire family, TBH, I wasn't even going to ask FSILs to stand up, but then I found out how much it meant and I wanted my BFF (a guy) to stand up, so it was a compromise.

-There could be a good reason why your brother wasn't chosen. Maybe they want an adult only wedding. Maybe she has a nephew the same age and they got into an argument about it, deciding not to have ANY.

-How close is your brother to your family? If he's not really close, you shouldn't be surprised.

For the most part, the bride and MOB tend to be the ones planning the wedding, as most grooms don't seem to want to get involved with the smaller details, so of course her personality will come out more. Never once have I gone to the wedding and thought "Wow...Bride and Groom did a beautiful job picking out these centerpieces. They're gorgeous." Because I KNOW (for the most part) the Groom didn't give a shit about much other than the bar, location and dj.

But before you go and castrate this girl, maybe you should try to talk to you brother...because I bet that these things weren't things that she made a decision on all by herself.

That is unusual, i think. Is your family far from where the wedding was held? Is your 1/2 brother tight with your little brother (the 8 year old)? Was the ring bearer the brides Godson, or her family member? Its too late now but if your Mom and Dad was wishing your 8 yr old little brother could be the ring bearer, they should have talked to their son about it BEFORE the wedding. Waiting until its over, not discussing it with their son, and then boohooing about it 2 weeks later is just pety if ou ask me. Let it go..its over and done with. When you plan yours, be cognizant of the fact that you should probably talk with both sides ofnthe family to see what their expectations with regard to wedding party etc are.

To add more....its not up to you or your parents what they do at THEIR wedding. Let them have the wedding they want, just like you have the wedding you want. If you want your brother to be a ring bearer, then have him as one. If you want your FBILs or FCILs (cousins) to be ushers or greeters, then bring this up to your FH

We are close and I have spent a lot of time at the house where and his wife live. I also went with them on a Vegas trip last year along with another relative. The ring bearer was her cousin who is 5. I'm not castrating her, I'm just a little hurt that the wedding included her side much more than our side.

We are close and I have spent a lot of time at the house where and his wife live. I also went with them on a Vegas trip last year along with another relative. The ring bearer was her cousin who is 5. I'm not castrating her, I'm just a little hurt that the wedding included her side much more than our side.

How much of an age separation is there between you and your brother?

This is an interesting perspective because we often tell people not to choose their future in laws as part of the bridal party "just because they're family".

It appears that being recognized as being an important part of your brother's life was very important to you and I'm sorry that you feel left out. That stinks. But I can also see the bride's side in that decision. I chose people in my bridal party that I've known for 15+ years and we wanted to keep it small. My MIL suggested my husband's brother's wife and I just wasn't comfortable with it. How close are you with your brother?

We live in the same city. The one who doesn't live nearby is my father's ex-wife who is currently living in Canada.

I'm sorry to hear that the bride didn't think of the groom's family. it's unfortunate that men always get a pass when really it should be the responsibility of the groom to include his family.

I did whatever I could to include my husband's large family but still feel bad I wasn't able to infiltrate their family enough to get them more involved. For instance, i asked MANY times for DH and MIL to add friends/family to the guest list with no response. I finally got a list of relatives from SIL but 0 friends of his parents were invited. now, 6 months later I'll meet friends of theirs and feel horrible they weren't invited to the wedding. but it shouldn't be all on the bride!

I included his SIL as a reader, but his other SIL never responded to me when I left her messages to include her and her daughters as greeters.

hopefully by anniversary 1 I will have let all this resentment go

I'm 22 and my brother is 30. I understand why I wasn't in the wedding party, i just wish I could have been involved in another way.

Maybe she just thought it's cuter to have a younger child as a ring bearer. Those are my thoughts exactly. Fh has a younger brother and he's not ours. One of my nephews will be.

Did you ever ask to be? Maybe she didn't want to be a pushy bride.

Mrs.Temme I am upset with my brother that he didn't think of this either. I'm curious as to whether some women include the husband's side on their own. After this experience, I will take into account that the groom's side of the family can sometimes be exicted about weddings too or want to have some part in them.

Your brother was as complicit in this as she is. He could have at any time said I want "so and so" to do this in the wedding especially if he noticed this "one-sidedness" but I'm assuming he didn't. And even if he did say something to her, unless she is a total bitch I'm sure she would have been ok with some more involvement from your side. Do you really think she is a horrible bridezilla that didn't give him any say? Why don't you ask HIM why he chose not to involve your side more if it means that much to you, but be prepared for him to either not have noticed or just not care as much as you.

That's a pretty big age difference....I suspected as much. Did you guys grow up together? Or did you not see him very often?

My husband doesn't have many family members to add except for cousins, his mom, dad, & a sister are deceased. My SIL is a bridesmaid & he has an aunt who has no children walking in his mom's place. I think It's nice when both families are involved.

Also...just to throw another insight in there...my younger sister and I have the same age gap in there and she IS NOT in the wedding. Why? Because we're "kinda close" but not tight. Just because she's my sister does not grant her immediate entrance into the bridal party....