Do a lot of brides include their groom's side in activities and the wedding?

Janeen, I saw my brother a lot when I was growing up. He lived with us during his middle school and high school years. He went t a college in the same city too.

Kimberely, I do blame my brother for a lot of this. As I said before, I just want to see if brides are open to including the other side on their own.

I didn't include any of my husband's side IN the wedding (except his mother, who was in the processional and introduced of course). I like his sister just fine but not bridal party fine. We didn't have a ring bearer/flower girl. We had friends as readers. It wasn't personal in any way, we chose readers that are good at public speaking and wouldn't dread it.

They were invited to the shower. And rehearsal.

I'm not sure why you'd expect to be. It doesn't sound like you or your family was maliciously excluded. You just weren't in the party itself. That's a choice the bride and groom made together. Don't waste energy being upset about it. Just because you did your wedding one way doesn't mean they did theirs the same way. Wanting to be in the party doesn't make it so and it doesn't mean anyone did anything wrong by not putting you in the party.

I'm not married Stephanie.

I didn't want to be in the wedding party, I would have liked some kind of invovlement, i felt like i was just showing up to the wedding and it did sting seeing the bride's relatives all involved.

Sorry, I thought Allison's comment was from you. That's totally the important part of my comment.

Regardless, when it is your wedding, you can make your own choices. Everything else I said stands.

THE BRIDES RELATIVES WERE PART OF THE BRIDAL PARTY, WHICH YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T WANT.

Seriously. Get over yourself and stop acting like a spoiled brat. This is THEIR wedding and about what THEY want. It has nothing to do with Little Sister

I said i understood why i wasn't in the bridal party, I had hoped to have another role in the wedding.

Well, now you're just being a pedant. BEING INVOLVED = THE WEDDING PARTY. Readers, ushers, flower girls, ring bearers - ALL WEDDING PARTY. Christ. No wonder you weren't involved. You were invited and being a guest is an honor in itself.

WTF other kind of role did you think you can have? How many times do I have to beat you upside the head with it....THIS WAS NOT YOUR WEDDING. I SWEAR you are the most stubborn and bull headed troll this week.

I know it wasn't my wedding and they made their choices, but I felt left out.

You wanted to feel honored and have people SEE that you were honored with a role in the wedding to make you feel important and you didn't get that. Get over it.

Move on Princess....

The wedding is done. They didn't want you involved or they would have asked you. Get over it as nothing comes from whining after the fact.

Get over it.

Ah now I get what this is about. You're upset that the "wedding party roles" that are considered "shared" by the couple were almost all her family or friends.

Yeah I understand what you're saying. There are a lot of factors that go into this, like maybe she has a very big, very close knit family. Most of these roles are really ceremonial and don't matter, other than to placate people whose feelings are hurt by such things.

There's no real answer to give you on this though. They made the decision together, and I would suggest that you bring up that you were hurt, but it's likely that will serve no purpose since the wedding is over and everything is done. The only thing you can do is to stop looking for outward signs of validation for your relationship with your brother. If you have a good relationship and see them often, be happy with that.

I will get over it, but part of the reason i came here was to see if how much both sides are included in weddings.

Its not a tit for tat scenario. Its based on relationship with the bride and groom. Obviously they don't think your relationship is very strong or else you probably would have been asked to perform a role of some sorts

I'm not sure why people are being so cruel to you, but whatever. People here just like to be rude, and don't understand that others post on these forums looking for help or w/e. What kind of guide tells you to "get over it princess" lol, terrible.

For my part, I'm trying to include the groom's family quite a lot but I feel quite close to them. I think it's different for everyone and there isn't really a "one size fits all" to how wedding parties are chosen.

The involvement of either side is purely up to the bride and groom so there is no one answer. You want validation that your brother and his wife should have involved you more but you're not going to get it here. Each situation is unique.

@Fondant: The kind that realizes that a bull headed girl wont listen to reason, I TRIED to give her advice but she was too focused on not being given recognition in a role that SHE wanted to have, one that her brother and SIL obviously did not want her to participate in. Thats who.

ETA: For the record, Fondant....I told her to "Move on Princess" not get over it. Shouldn't you be calling your friend and asking her to change her wedding date?

Fondant..who the hell are you..

Thanks for proving my point, ladies. =)