Divorced parents, Mom helping with wedding, hurt feelings (UPDATE!)

Why not walk with them both? They are both your parents.

ETA: Money shouldn't factor in. Your relationship with your parents isn't for sale to the highest bidder.

@StPaulGal you're totally right, I just feel bad. I also want a pretty traditional wedding. I eloped at 21 and none of my family was there because we weren't speaking at the time, so I just want everything to be "right" this time.

@Sara&L we could have 2 groomsmen do it and then have my 2 sisters walk together down the aisle together after

I vote both parents walk you down the aisle. I feel like mom's get so screwed in this tradition, so I'm al for making it equal between both parents

If it will cause issues them have them both walk you. They don't need to speak, look or touch each other

My parents are also divorced, but they are both walking me down. This is really important to me. My parents have a civil relationship, though, which I know you stated yours do not. But still, you'll be in the middle, and as @Kimberly said, they don't need to look at or interact with each other :-)

Look up the tradition of the father "giving away" his daughter. I think you might find it's archaic and sexist.

I first sang at a wedding 15 years ago, in a big Catholic church; the bride walked down the aisle with both her parents. It's not a unique idea.

Both my parents walked with me; it's become the norm, in the weddings I attend. If either of my parents had passed, I would have substituted with my grandmother or sister.

P.S. Following "traditions" does not guarantee luck in a marriage. It certainly doesn't make anything "right." My parents ignored most wedding traditions and they've been happily married 40 years.

My cousin is walking my mom down the isle but when the pastor says who wants to give her away both parents are going to be by my side and say "we do"...my mom have birth to me and my dad was always there. It took both of them to make me

I am having both of my parents walk me down the aisle. They are still happily married, but I was raised by both and am close with both. I also didn't like the idea of being "given away" and I know my mother is happy that she gets to be part of this. Originally I wanted to walk by myself.

My FH is also walking with his parents. We have no BP. They are walking him halfway down the aisle and waiting for me and we are finishing the walk together.

Are you open to having both parents walk you down?

*both

My parents are still married but it shouldn't make a difference. If you want your mother by your side she can be. It's your wedding...you do what makes you happy hun.

@Stacey you right! The mother goes through the most pain!

As someone with recently divorced parents (and a soon to be remarried dad, in 2 weeks) I think you should do whatever YOU want. I have always been closer to my mom, but tradition calls to walk with my dad and I love him too, so I am having them both walk me. They raised me, they give me away. But you need to do what you are the most comfortable with, and no one else.

@J.Clo I think it's really awkward to have my mom walk me. She shouldn't be hurt, because if they were still married, she wouldn't be and I wouldn't even be considering this, but I think she kinda is.

I know it's becoming more and more common but *I* don't like it. Also, they like to upstage each other and I don't want my wedding becoming like the toasting scene from Bridesmaids.

@Tashico I do like the idea of both parents coming up and saying they are both giving you away. Will your mom sit first and then stand? Or will your cousin walk her down to the front where she stands until you get there?

@Dreamer I know it doesn't guarantee happiness but my ex and his mom planned everything and none of my family was there last time and no one listened to me on anything. I have certain things that matter to me, and I can't really explain why but probably because I associate a loss of control during planning with a bad marriage. Is this the healthiest thing? Prob not but we are where we are.

DH had both his parents walk him down the aisle (it's tradition for Jewish weddings) and I had just my father walk me down, and my mother was escorted by my 9 yr old nephew.

There's no right or wrong way to do it, but I think being inclusive of your family, and considerate of their feelings shows good faith in starting a new family with FH.

My bother will walk my mom down the aisle and into the reception. My dad will walk in with me. I have to figure out who to walk in my step mom...... Or my mom will also walk in alone same as my step mom

My dad walked me down the aisle, but my mom met us at the end for the giving away part. She helped him flip my veil (I wore a blusher) and gave me a kiss on the cheek before she and my dad sat down.

Would your mom like to do something like that?

@MrsSki thats a good idea, and I like that. Did she sit first and then stand when ya'll approached and meet you?

@MelissaHH I see what you mean and I appreciate you pointing it out. She has stated numerous times how she wants to be "hot" at the wedding. Her first choice for a MOB dress was WHITE (albeit with blue florals) and her second was illusion top showing her entire midriff and her third had a slit so high we could see her panties. These were dresses she LIKED, not just ones she tried on.

To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure she wants to walk with me to walk with me based on things she has said. I'm pretty sure its just so she isn't walking alone/"to get back at" my dad. I may be wrong but based on some of her actions I feel like she is threatened that my dad is bringing his girlfriend and she isn't seeing anyone.

If they weren't divorced, this wouldn't even be an issue so it just all around sucks.

You could always have your dad walk you 1/2 way and your mom join you both.