Dispensation from Canonical Form - Marriage Outside of Catholic Church

Not sure how much research you've already done/put into this, so you might already know more than I do! But previously my FH and I (who are both catholic) were looking into ways where we could get married outside of the Catholic church and I think depending on your unique circumstance you have 2 different options:

1) the one you mentioned, where a dispensation could be granted to allow you to get married outside of the physical walls of a church

2) convocation - where you can get married by means outside of the church and then just have another church ceremony for the church to acknowledge or recognize your marriage as being valid (under the catholic church specifically)

We never actually went through with any of that because we didn't really have a good enough reason aside from the fact that it was my dream to get married at the barn venue (but the mass and catholic aspect was SUPER important to my family) so I'm just having to give up my dream and have a church wedding lol. BUT, I think you have a good reason since you're both from different religions and because it's important to you to incorporate both, etc. Have you met with a priest yet? Because that's how a lot of this paperwork would get done. Your preparing priest (or the priest you meet with for pre-cana) would be the one who'd have to send the paperwork to the diocese to ask for a dispensation from the bishop which is only granted under special circumstances. I think they say 6 months just to allow for buffer time, but I'd say 3 months is even ok but just definitely start the conversation early. So I'd say as soon as you meet with the preparing priest (which most of the time is either the priest who will marry you or a priest from your parish church), bring it up ASAP bc they can tell you what needs to be done.

You need to be looking at discussions with a Catholic priest and marriage coordinator NOW.

My fiance and I got engaged in Nov 2018. We started the marriage process in Dec 2018, because he's divorced and would need to obtain a Catholic annulment and dispensation in order to get married in the church. The process took a very long time and the full paperwork was finally submitted in June 2019, although the dispensation was finalized 2 months later in August.

Until we got the actual dispensation, we couldn't really secure any venues or vendors. Luckily we had a good long time to do research, so once we got the approval, we were able to get everything secured with deposits in late September 2019--a full 7 months before our (initial) May 2nd 2020 wedding date.

You are looking at least a 12 month process here, which is why I suggest you need to be starting now. Unfortunately, due to the pandemic, it is highly unlikely any priest would be willing to meet up with you in person right now, as a wedding/marriage at this time is not considered "essential business". Depending on how tech-savvy they are, a video chat may be possible, but YMMV.

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Hi Alexa! We met with each of our pastors (together) back in the fall (since we planned for it to be a longer engagement) and explained our situation. The dispensation was actually something I came across later. My understanding is that it still has to be in a church, but the dispensation "grants" permission for it to be in another denomination's/religion's/faith's church (like you said, this varies by city - I know at least two permit outdoor weddings).

This is what I'm confused about - does 6 months mean that's how long all the paper work may take, or 6 months before the wedding is when you start the paper work? Because the latter would make the logistics of reserving whichever church difficult. (Definitely a question to bring up with the priest).

Thanks for your input!

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Hi Mary, thanks so much for the information! So, the dispensation has to be acquired before vendors can be reserved? This is a huge relief for me, as I thought this was something we would have to leave up to chance as we waited for a decision (I was confused about the 6 month time frame I was reading - whether it took ~6 months for the paperwork to be completed and processed, or whether 6 months before the wedding was when all this took place. I know the latter doesn't make sense, but that's how I interpreted it). Thanks again for sharing your experience!

Hi! I just wanted to say thank you for posting this. My FH is Catholic and I am the daughter of a Pastor. Our parents haven't been seeing eye to eye on a ceremony. I have been researching dispensations, but haven't had a clue on how to start. This has really helped me, and made me feel less alone in the situation. I wish you and your FH a happy wedding and marriage!💕