What to call our ceremony?

Celebration of marriage. People know you are married. The celebration part took longer

Celebration of marriage or vow renewal eta: words

A marriage celebration with a ceremony is typically called a vow renewal.

I'm one of those who will fly 3,000 miles to see people get married, but would not do so for a vow renewal or celebration of marriage. To me, a wedding is, in part, about witnessing the vow and being part of that. Anything else is just a party. And, I agree with everyone else-- be honest with your guests, cause these kinds of secrets have a way of getting out. So, let them decide for themselves if they want to come, knowing you're already married, whatever your reasons.

I like celebration of marriage.

My nephew and his wife had to get married early last year so she could move with him since he is in the service. This past February they had a "Blessing of the Marriage", it was beautiful.

Celebration of Marriage. By definition, this is not a wedding since you've been married for 6 months now. Don't lie to your guests and all is good.

Maybe it's because I grew up in a Catholic community where the word "marriage" referred to a sacrament as well as a legal contract, but personally, I think what constitutes a "real wedding" to be a little bit up to the person getting married. To me personally, the legal part of getting married is just a small facet of the marriage. I wouldn't consider myself married until I've had the ceremony, in my church, in front of my family and friends, and I would consider that second ceremony to be my "real" wedding. If someone gets legally married before their ceremony just because they don't want to wait, but still want to party later (and get gifts!), then I'd be a little annoyed at them calling it a wedding. But if there's a legitimate reason (ie visa issues, health insurance, military, etc), then I don't think needing to get married on short notice should deprive you of having the wedding ceremony that you consider the most meaningful by forcing you to define "getting married" strictly by legal terms. OP, I don't know your circumstances, but assuming you fit into the category of legit reasons to rush a legal marriage, I think you can call it whatever you want to call it!

As is said many times during these discussions, a "real wedding" has a real, definitive definition. People can take it to mean what it wants, but the truth is that once you sign that piece of paper, pretending you're not married is a lie.

@Mrs. Future Gent I love that term, "Blessing of the Marriage!"

My fiancé and I are considering "making it legal" before next April because of military-related issues that weren't issues at the time we booked our wedding date. We haven't decided yet if we'll do that, but if we do- we will not tell a soul. It will be our decision alone because it's our life. It's frankly no one's business. We aren't "lying" to our guests. Celia hit the nail on the head- when I was a guest or BM, I never cared about a paper being signed that day or not. I went to celebrate the union of 2 people that I cared for. If my guests don't want to attend our church ceremony, ride in our bus, eat our food, drink from the open bar, or do the other myriad things we are planning costing $$$....all because we signed a legal document a few months before, then they can stay home. That is just petty to me.

Disclaimer: Courthouse marriages are real marriages. Church and outdoor ceremonies are real marriages too.

My advice OP- if no one KNOWS about the legal ceremony, then just call it a ceremony in October. It IS a ceremony of its own sort after all. If you did blast the news that you're legally married, I'd say "celebration of marriage". Go and enjoy your day either way!

@Meaghan do what you want. You have that right. It's your life, your wedding. But don't fool yourself into thinking no one will care if they find out. I've been to three of these types of weddings in the past and people always find out and someone always spilled the beans. While some don't give a damn, some do. They may not tell you, but they'll still talk.

FYI -- this topic is far more accepted on WW than it is on other sites.

I like celebration, blessing, or reaffirmation. That being said, call it whatever the heck you want! It's your day, and only you know what this ceremony means to you relative to the "legal" wedding.

OP I can relate on worrying about terminology. My husband and I got married a month after our engagement. However, we got married on live TV so everyone we invited knows we're legally married but we are still having it recognized by the church.

In my day-to-day I still call it a wedding. On my invitations I called it a vow exchange in front of family, friends and God.

I think a lot has to do with why you got married already and what the proper etiquette is then. For example if someone was sick and dying and you got legally married for that person - then no one needs to know.

But if you did it just to be married then it's a vow renewal.

We were legally married before our wedding for one of the reasons mentioned in earlier posts, and invited guests to "celebrate the marriage of L & C" since that wording accurately reflected what everyone was doing, celebrating our marriage. Every one of our guests knew we were already legally married, and they all happily attended our religious ceremony and reception. We had friends travel to celebrate with us from halfway across the world, other states, and nearby cities, and all were thrilled to be able to celebrate together with us. I know people who have forgotten their marriage licenses at their "real" weddings and have had to go make it legal the next day/week. People attend a ceremony and reception to celebrate the couple, not to witness a document being signed.

If your guests don't know, just call it a wedding, if they do know, a celebration of your marriage or blessing of marriage works well.

Best of luck

I've been to two weddings where the couple was married a few months prior to the wedding - one where everyone knew, and one were only family knew. And it felt no less real, special, whatever. I think it's weird that people care. It would be one thing if it was years later, but a few months? Who gives a shit? If you care about the people, as Celia said, you're happy to be there and celebrate.

Call it whatever you want, and enjoy it!

I wouldn't be bothered in the least if I attended a wedding where the couple had already been 'legally' married... I don't understand why that would upset anyone? You're inviting them to a celebration, feeding them, showing them a good time... What's to be upset about?

We're going to one of these on Maui at the end of October! The invite (which was sent mid-June with a 7/1 RSVP deadline for 10/29...and I thought I was early...). Most people don't know (and the groom asked that I not tell anyone...immigration thing) - but the invite just said "celebration of their love" or something to that effect. Still happy to celebrate with them!

Edit: typos. Also, the groom and I actually went to a grad school friend's wedding 28 years ago and found out when we got there. That the couple had gotten married the night before with just friends and family. We were just kind of like...okay...then whatever. But they got all dressed up and everything again for us...

I'll say this: if I knew a couple got married for extenuating circumstances (meaning they didn't just decide they "couldn't wait" so they ran to the courthouse two months early), and I was invited to their celebration of marriage or vow renewal, I would treat it the same way as I would a wedding.

If I arrive and find out they've been married for several weeks? I WILL be pissed, and my gift and I will probably be leaving, because if I'm not worth the truth, a fake wedding isn't worth my time, presence, or token of celebration and goodwill.

I mean...don't you have bigger fish to fry? I just don't get how it effects you. At all.