Vent! FH is unrealistic

I don't think your wrong at all! Its good to be realistic about your budget! Not always fun but good!!

Sounds like my FH. He wants everything. He thinks I need to get a super nice car and he wants a motorcycle. All I can think about it trying to pay the wedding and my tuition. He doesn't really get it. So I feel ya!

I know I was telling him I would love to go and be able to buy a brand new Jeep but I know right now I need to focus on saving for college next year and saving for the wedding

It seems like you have your head on straight. Hopefully you can get through to him and make him realize that money doesn't grow on trees.

The problem with him is he's just so confident he can do anything so to him he looks at it like oh no problem I can save for all this at once even though he only gets $700 a month and me all I see is $$$$$$ because other then college my main focus at the moment is the wedding and whenever he mentions something big and exspensive I'm just like but the wedding!

Yeah, that is pretty unrealistic. Great that he has dreams, but he should see that they are things to aspire to, not things to obtain right now.

Exactly. Like I told him I want to get a Jeep and I want to go to Rome one day but I'm not saving for that stuff until after the wedding and we have our own home

I think there are bigger issues at stake here. I think you two need to sit down and write out a budget. Include things like dinners out, movies, gifts for people, gas for cars, insurance, etc.

Sadly, I think he needs a wake up call.

Start with the wedding budget. Talk about the expenses, how you've allocated it, and then bring up where the funds will come from...

More than just the wedding budget, you guys need to realistically sit down and plan out what you are going to do within the next year or two. Not dreaming someday stuff. Real what are you planning to do stuff. Since what each of you decides now will affect the other one too down the road. Prioritize by what you need to do, and than what you would like to do. Then figure out how much you will need to save for each of those, where the money is going to come from,whether or not you can afford it all or have to cut things, and make a budget based on that. Maybe sitting down and really thinking about it, writing it all down, and applying actual numbers will make him look at things more realistically.

You're not alone. We postponed b/c of not enough $$$, since then FH tends to forget about a wedding at all. He wants to marry me still. But now we are getting together a ren faire group - our hobby- which we need to budget for supplies as a group so we can do a ren campout that comes every yr. FH seems to think we can totally afford it by next may, I constantly remind him that we have a wedding to save for & what's more important. This past time got me so mad, I said if you would rather spend money on a damn fantasy group then get married, we dont belong together. Harsh, but he saw my point & apologized that he's not being sensitive to my need of a wedding, let alone our budgeting.

Pan is right, talk about it. What's more important/priority. IMO if he'd rather spend money on a car, you relationship will go down hill if he doesnt get his priorities straight

I totally can say 'I know how you feel." Josh has 0 ideas on how money works, something I am trying to teach him. He has 200 dollars, he wants to spend 198.

All of these ladies gave you great advice, but the key here that we are kinda over looking is that he (and you when you recounted what happened) used the word *want*, not need. We all want things, and there is no harm in him saying he wants something, after all, it doesn't mean he is going to rush out the door and go buy it, it just means that he *wants* it. Try not to take it as though he doesn't care about the wedding or your future, but more so that he is just human and likes stuff, lol.

@Dminted bride I know I'm trying not to but it just kinda baffled me that he's talking about getting a brand new car when he doesn't even have his license. Once I have a little more free time I'm getting a job and gonna start helping save for the wedding and unless I really need something most of my paychecks are going towards saving for the wedding. I just think he doesn't take the wedding seriously since its so far away. Like the other day I was saying it'd be cool if I had a Tim Tebow jersey and he went and bought it for for me and a Dan Marino jersey for him. Together the jerseys were probobly close to $100 and then he was like if theres anything else you want send me the link and ill get it and I mean dont get me wrong I greatly appreciate him getting me the jersey and offering to get all this other stuff but Im like ahh that could be for the wedding! But he did get me a wedding planning book so that'll be usueful

You ladies are right through I do need to talk to him about budget not just for the wedding. I know exactly where I wanna be within the next 5 years I wanna be living in st louis hopefully in our own house by then, if not then saving for it. But I don't think he knows what he wants to do

You are definitely not the only one! Fh is a dreamer and I am more realistic (sometimes pessimistic) but I think we balance each other out really well. When it comes to money try to take a more logical approach and pick your battles. Explain that you don't want to go into debt over a wedding.

I talked to him more about it last night and told him that I'm not saying i don't think he should not ever get the car I just think he should wait til after the wedding and he thankfully agreed

Im gonna talk to him more about budget not just for the wedding and see where he's at

Emily, his car insurance will be lower after you marry -- use that as a selling point for waiting to buy a car.

Good point Nancy! Never even thought about that!