**UPDATE** Sister TEXTED me saying she wasn't coming to my wedding

I can understand both sides here. Does she have to travel far?

Ouch. Thats a bit harsh. Personally I would just tell her that you're sad about her decision but you understand it and leave it at that.

I bet she's just trying to guilt you into letting your nephew come and doing it before your invites were even sent out just shows me that she's just trying to do that.

About 3 hours, so I realize it's not close. We also don't have it in our budget to pay for a babysitter. I should have also added that I have another sister with a 5-year old, and when I told her, she said she already found a sitter. My sisters live about 15 minutes from each other.

@Maltese- I had the SAME thought! She even said, "I wanted to tell you before the invites were sent." I can't back down or else we would have to invite a bunch of other young ones. It isn't fun

So she would be leaving her child for something like....11 hours or even maybe overnight? I can totally understand why she wouldn't want to do that, sorry. :-\

I see both sides and it is a tough decision. I couldn't imagine my wedding without my 2 nephews there. I would tell her you are upset about the decision and after that I wouldn't bring it up again.

Wow that is awful. Is your nephew close to you?

I only see him once or twice a year. I love him dearly, and obviously this doesn't change it. I see both sides too, and I told her that I understand her decision, but I am still upset by it. I'll leave it be, and will still obviously send the invite.

We actually extended an invite to all of our nephews and nieces as well as anyone with children that are travelling to attend the wedding. Finding a babysitter while you are hours away is a daunting task for a parent and the only people she would trust are probably attending the wedding. I guess she just won't be there. I'm sorry.

I understand her not wanting to leave the child over night in someone elses care but why couldn't she brig the child with her to where the wedding is and have a sitter at the hotel or wherever she is staying?

I understand her and honestly I want my nieces and nephews there. they're my family. Our nieces and nephews are the only kids allowed and our children too of course.

What I don't understand is why OP's sister couldn't work around it for her SISTER's WEDDING? My cousin just got married with an adult reception and HIS niece couldn't be there, so my other cousin (this one's sister) went to the wedding while her husband stayed home with the child. She wasn't going to miss her brother's wedding and they live just about 3 hours away as well!

Mandigurl--you would essentially be leaving your child with a babysitter you've never encountered prior to that night, unless she traveled with a babysitter and got that babysitter another room. That's also not ideal. If it really is about leaving the child versus the sister being upset about not having her child at the wedding, then the OP can locate certified babysitters in the area and look into it on behalf of her sister (what I did). You don't have to pay for it, but you can help her find the childcare that is local to the venue.....if that is the problem.

I dunno Maltese. I can see your point, but as a parent, I wouldn't want to leave my kid for 12 hours with someone. I get what you're saying, but who knows, honestly? Thems the breaks when you have a kid-free wedding.

I purposely allowed children because I didn't want anyone to have to decline due to a no children rule. Plus if you only see him once or twice a year he may not feel comfortable telling you he is upset (he could be. I don't imagine calling him to talk to him would change whether he is upset or not, Honestly my 6 year old nephew was very excited about my wedding, he helped pick the cake and my dress and talks about both of those things still, a year later in the case of my dress). It stinks that she's not coming but I understand her not wanting to attend and leave her son for that amount of time. (I know my sister wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my nephew for an extended amount of time).

Good point Maltese I didn't even think about leaving him with dad so maybe she hasn't thought about that either. Maybe they could have a guys night out.

I'm starting to hate "texting", I think only cowards use them to cancel, breakoff & decline. Important things should be done in person or at least a verbal conversation.

As a parent I would not leave my child with a sitter 3 hours away. I also wouldn't leave my child with a sitter I didn't know near the wedding location. My child is my biggest responsibility and my first priority. I understand you wanting a no kid wedding. That's your choice, but you are putting your sister in a no-win situation.

Theresa is right as well. You'd be surprised at what kids get excited about. My son was very very excited about the wedding when I expected him not to care at all.

I can understand both sides. I don't think anyone is right or wrong, it's just a tough situation you have to deal with.