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Master February 2016

RSVP Suggestion

Pinky Winter Promise, on September 19, 2015 at 7:07 PM Posted in Planning 0 10

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So for those guests that do not get the RSVP in on time. Our venue coordinator suggested to sent a "regret card".

He just told us to send a card (or postcard) in the mail (the day after the RSVPs were due) saying the following:

“We regret you are unable to attend our wedding, you’ll be with us in our thoughts and prayers.

Sincerely/Love,

X & X”

If those that didn't RSVP call to tell you there was an error (they forget to RSVP or maybe their RSVP didn't go through online/got lost in the mail), then you can add them to their list or what not. Our venue coordinator told us that sometimes people don't like to RSVP because they feel bad about saying "no". That way the regret card gets them "off the hook" from feeling bad and you don't have to seem like you are hounding them down. He also said it's a good way to help keep numbers lower (if that's what you want).

What do you all think about this?

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10 Comments

Latest activity by Pinky Winter Promise, on September 19, 2015 at 9:15 PM

Super June 2016
Shayna · on September 19, 2015 at 7:10 PM
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I would just call them and see if they are coming or not. Everyone we are inviting are friends or family so not a big deal to just call them.
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VIP August 2014
Private User · on September 19, 2015 at 7:14 PM
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A lot of people don't put their cards in the mail, until the due date. I think your plan has the potential to tick-off a lot of people.
P.S. My family always does online RSVPs - no problem with lost mail.
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Master January 2016
SummerS · on September 19, 2015 at 7:15 PM
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Seems like an extremely passive aggressive approach with unecessary extra work and $$ spent. Just call them.
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Devoted October 2015
Mrs. BMM · on September 19, 2015 at 7:18 PM
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Just call them. A lot of FH family didn't put their's in the mail until the day that it was due.
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Master February 2016
Pinky Winter Promise · on September 19, 2015 at 7:20 PM
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I haven't said I was going to do it yet, as it was just something that was suggested to me. (It was also suggested to me because we have a lot of people that have already been going back and forth due to the distance they all need to travel and time of year).

I don't mind calling people, however, I do not have all their phone numbers - so I would have to hope that they have a number listed on white pages.

ETA: Also if I were to do this - I would wait a week after the RSVP date.
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VIP June 2016
ChildressAtLast · on September 19, 2015 at 8:40 PM
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My family always does online rsvps so Seems like it's easier to just call
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Master September 2015
Margaret · on September 19, 2015 at 8:43 PM
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We had to track down a lot of missing RSVPs. I hounded them down any way I knew how- a lot of fb messages since I don't have phone numbers for all of them. I honestly wouldn't waste your money on regret cards. People know if they don't respond to 2 attempts (original invitation and 1 method of track down), they won't be accounted for.
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Master October 2015
Monica SC · on September 19, 2015 at 9:06 PM
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It's not a bad idea especially if you have a pretty good idea that the person you are sending it too just didn't return the card. If you send them to people who declined too...it's a nice way of saying you will be missed.
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Celia Milton · on September 19, 2015 at 9:14 PM
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And we need to call adults why?

I'd wait till a week after the rsvps, call or email them once and then give up on them. This RSVP crap is just that. Crap.
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Master February 2016
Pinky Winter Promise · on September 19, 2015 at 9:15 PM
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Thanks for the input everyone! (Yes, Monica - I forgot to mention that before -- I would also send it to those that declined as well).

I guess I didn't see it as passive aggressive or a way to get people mad/upset. More like saying "I wish you could have come but since you can't, you will be on our minds". If for some reason someone gets that card and they weren't suppose to, I would think they would then call to let us know that they are indeed coming.
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