Reserve guest list

NO.. It's NEVER OK...

Put yourself in the place of someone who receives an invitation just a couple of weeks before the wedding, either after or just before the RSVP date. It's obvious you would be a second choice. How would that make you feel? I'd feel offended.

I just made a post about that tonight happening to FH. Please don't do that.

That is essentially what a B-list is (when you know others won't be able to make it/rsvp no). Could we have done a B-list to invite a few more guests that we really wanted; but wasn't in our budget...yes. Did we...no.

It's would be extremely difficult to invite B-listers without them finding out due to timing or talk from other guests, etc. Just invite those that are closest to you & fit within your budget.

That is exactly what a b-list is....

The way a "B-list" was described to me was when you send Save the Dates, a handful of people may tell you they can't come before you actually send invites. For instance, I have an out of town friend who will not be coming due to scheduling issues. So, I will send her invite to someone on the B-list, but all the invites will go out at the same time. I've been B-listed before and honestly it didn't bother me at all. I still enjoyed the free food, booze, and dancing at the wedding anyways.

For FH and I, it's about spending the day with as many loved ones as possible. We had to dramatically cut the guest list due to budget issues and it's nice that we've been able to add others to the list as certain people tell us they can't make it.

That's why I asked. Don't have one, due to what I've seen here. Just checking

This is a good way to lose friends.

If they aren't important enough to you to get an invite the first go around, they're not important enough to be at your wedding. Clearly they're important enough to give a gift though.

No, that's not always the case of importance what so ever. Would be budget for me. I don't know about anyone else

I don't care about who gives what for a gift. Weddings aren't all about that.

Keep those RSVP slots empty. So venues with a certain head count, What would you do then with slots that you have available? I know in some cases the ending venue cost would be lower if the headcount is less, right?

@Sarah, she's actually IN another wedding on the exact day so I'd say she's 99% sure not coming. Even in the very slightest chance something changed (wedding was canceled, etc) OF COURSE she would still be invited, we would make room for her on our list and just eat the extra money in that situation. We have a strict guest minimum at our wedding, so we are charged for a minimum of 150 guests regardless of if 152 or 120 guests show up. If 20 people tell us they can't make it when STDs are sent and we invite an addition 10 people, I don't see a problem with it. If some people change their mind or plans change, they are more than welcome to attend still. All the invites are going out at the same time, so it's unlikely they'll have the slightest clue they were B-listed.

ETA... if we had unlimited financial means we'd have had all 220 people we want to invite on the A-list, but that's not financially possible. Like I said, it's about having as many people we love there. Ranking friends and family is not a fun thing to do!!

Crystal, if you don't meet your minimum head count, see if you can upgrade some items. The venue doesn't care about the number of guests. They care about meeting a minimum financial amount.

NOOOOOOOO.

So what I did was send stds to vips. The rest of my guest list has been flexible. We just went through our last round and cut people out that were in our first draft (did not receive stds) and added people that were initially cut that we really wanted to invite but didn't think we'd have room. Invites don't go out for a couple more weeks. No one is getting anything at different times. Our people that were cut weren't cut because they couldn't come. We have a handful of people we KNOW can't come that are getting invites. And I don't even know if the people we added are able to come, but we would love them to. Not about filling seats. It's about having the people you love there.

I was using "you" generally. Not specifically. Calm down.

If you don't have enough people RSVP, then you still pay the venue as though you have reached the minimum. For instance, our venue had a 125 person minimum. We only wanted 75 people, but we were absolutely in love with the venue. We still had our wedding there, but paid for 125 people instead of 75. This was venue only, not caterer/baker, etc.

Mostly all venues with minimums operate like this.

On here everyone says its an absolute no and that it is rude. If it was done to me I'm not sure I would care. I'm a pretty passive person. With that being said even when I was planning a more traditional wedding I still didnt do it because my luck is people who rsvpd no would then magically attend and I wouldn't have enough. Its not worth the the drama or the risk.

I'm calm

I will say, I know it can't invite every one I have in my mind to invite.

I was looking at my contract with my venue. We have the 30 day prior to the wedding payment due, then 10 days prior other items the venue is providing due. That's includes full bar package w/ bartender for 100 people and the event director. It says this fee could change as event gets closer. So, I'm thinking this is based on my head count, if it's lower or higher when we give final.

Nope. No. Not ok. Never.

B-listing, rsvp reserve or whatever you want to call it is rude.

Invite the number of people you can properly host. If you happen to get some declines, use that extra money to make some upgrades or just save it for a rainy day.

B-listing is right up there with tiered receptions. It's people who didn't make the first cut, but are somehow simultaneously so important that they have to be there to celebrate with you. It makes no sense and is just incredibly rude and hurtful.