mother in laws,cant live with them,cant live with out them(sigh)

I think you've pretty much hit it with the "if she even goes through with it" comment. It sure doesn't SOUND like she actually will. Just ignore her--giving her attention just rewards the behavior.

The 3rd person this year????

WOW, I think I would just ignore it because if its the 3rd person this year it probably won't last.

Wow. I would disinvite her. Then find out the addresses from someone else. Then ignore her crazy as a bat butt.

Well, sounds like you don't really have a lot to worry about. She's looking for attention, so don't give it to her. Sounds like it's not likely to happen anyhow.

Yeah all you ladies are right. It's more annoying then anything because it seems like she just doesn't want to see her son married before her because she has never been married. I feel like she is trying to out do us,which is high unnecessary. Ugh I'm just tired of the back and forth with her as if its a competition.

I know how frustrating that can be I dont have any family members doing it but one of my FS friends who is a groomsmen has a fiance (they have been engaged for about 2 yrs) and since she found out our date she is now trying to plan and have her wedding before us ugghhh. Anyway I say you just plan your wedding and pay her no mind, getting mad and giving her a reaction may be what she is looking for. Some people just cant see other people happy and be happy for them. It would be sad if thats the case since he is her son. How does your FS feel about it?

@ Brian C. Yes he finally spoke up but that ticked her off even more, maybe might have even hurt her to hear him stand up to her,but it made me feel a lot better. @ cheryl B. he says it's just jealousy and I shouldn't pay it any attention but it's hard when every time you turn around it's something new with her. I always heard of the "monster in law" but to actually end up with one,is not what I wanted. But who would even take her wedding seriously if this is the 3rd person this year with only a few months in between them. If she has it,its really nothing I can do but just hope its not the same day but it sucks because what family member wants to have to make 2 trips back and forth for weddings? Not to mention we are way in Chicago and the wedding is in Texas so I think its really selfish of her.

Oh wow...yup..she needs attention and you are probably giving it to her..just ignore her for a while and it'll be fine...

@ Brian you give such helpful and wonderful advice, thank you.

OMG! This sounds JUST like my FMIL! I honestly think they both have the condition Brian is talking about. My FH has to tell her sometimes that it's not always about her.

You might have to have yours do the same?

Wow! I knew my ex-husband for seven years when we got married. I had lived with NotFroofy for nearly nine years when we got married. I'm still trying to wrap my head around three in one year!

Friggen MILs ;-D

Definitely sounds as though she needs attention.

My daughters MIL needed attention before the wedding. First, she made snide comments on FB about me. Then she made snide comments to/about my daughter. Then she called her son and told him that I was being MEAN to her? Huh? We were not even in communication, so how the heck could I be mean to her?

The she made a big show of NOT coming to the Bridal Shower. She wanted all of us to beg her to come. Well, none of us even contacted her. So, two hours before the shower, she called and asked if she could still come. Again, trying to be the center of attention.

At the reception, the DJ could not find "her song" for the Mother/Son dance. She literally left the room and cried and pitched a fit in the hallway. My ex-husbands wife went out there and told her to simply select another song and get over herself. Again, this was an attempt to divert the attention to her, nto the Bride and Groom. It didn't work as 99% of (cont)

(cont) the guests didn't even realize that she had left the room.

Brian has good adivce. Your MIL sounds as though she needs attention and has some issues to deal with.

Best wishes to you and your FS.

I just always thought parents would want the best for their kids,not think of them as competition.

I don't think with your FMIL that it is her SON that she considers competition. I think she only considers YOU the competition. That's something that is really hard to deal with and not something anyone can just make go away.

Hopefully she will realize that, by trying to steal her son back by doing things to make him pay attention to her, she is actually making him want to stay away from her... and she'll stop. But, it's likely that she'll never realize and constantly blame you for him not talking to her any more, even when it's her own darn fault from the beginning.

Just keep doing what is best for you and your future family, that's all anyone can do. Don't worry so much about what she is doing and saying because when it comes down to it, the only people who really matter that they know the truth... are your FH and your future kids. Just make sure not to hide anything from your future kids about what is going on and why people act the way they do sometimes.