Mass on the morning of the wedding

What does your FH say?

Have you explained to her the timeline that you have to have in order to get ready on time? Ask her what the plan is if she includes mass. Maybe she will see that they may need to change their plans or maybe it will work.

Let their family go to mass together if fh wants to. You enjoy your mom's brunch and prepping.

I don't really see this as a problem as long as everyone knows they need to be ready by 12.

The family doesn't need to be there, do they?

I started getting ready ridiculously early o clock in the morning for my first look pictures at 1.

Do you want to know what time DH and the groomsman started? 12:00. Let them go and enjoy family time while you get ready.

Its strange they want to go to mass that day.. That being said I come from a very Catholic upbringing.

I say let them go to mass if they so choose...

You should spend the day with your mom at her brunch and getting ready.

Let everyone know what time they NEED to be ready at and that you really want to have quality time with your mom and your bridal party getting ready on the day of your wedding.

That way they know your moms brunch is important to you and they know that even if they decide to go to mass they need to be ready for pictures etc at a certain time..

If it's a morning mass, the mass will likely only last 30 minutes, maybe 45 if they really stretch it, but since it isn't a holy day of obligation or the Sunday/Saturday evening mass, it probably won't interrupt your timeline that much.

If you're not having a rehearsal Friday, see if a Friday night mass is an option over Saturday morning. Otherwise, his family can go to mass while you and your mom stay behind and stay on your schedule.

I'm in a similar situation however it's my stepmom and my dad demanding they go to church sometime on my wedding weekend. Stepmom is a devout Catholic and is very hung up on attending a service every week, even on vacation. My wedding is on a Sunday starting at 3 however they would need to be there in the afternoon, my ceremony rehearsal is Saturday morning and they have a friends wedding to go to that afternoon/evening. They wanted to skip my rehearsal and I freaked out on them. I told them I don't think God would be upset if they missed one week, or if mass is that important go to the first morning service on my wedding day. Even my paternal grandmother didn't know why they would say that or even think that. I know in my case, my grandma has told me as the day gets closer she will say something to my father because that's just ridiculous. I think out of all days God wouldn't mind them missing one day of mass.

I noticed your wedding is a on Saturday. That is weird that they would want to attend mass then. I think if attending mass is so important to your FH's side of the family they need to attend a Sunday service, the day after your wedding.

It's really unfair that your FMIL is making these demands. Does FH want to go?

This would be a huge, huge concession on your part but could you offer to go on Sunday instead? Yes, you should be celebrating with your husband and reveling in your first full day as husband and wife. Should you have to get out of bed? Nope. But IMO it's way, way better to go the morning after than the morning before the wedding.

So is it a fair assumption you won't be doing mass during the ceremony? My FH would have no part in this, he was raised catholic but it's not really a part of his wife and would rather spend time with his GM's morning of

OP? Where'd you go, Hon?

There are usually Saturday services they could attend instead.

I don't see the big deal. If they're not forcing you to go and your fh wants to, this will probably get everyone up and around sooner.

What is your concern? Do you need to dictate when, where, how they get ready?

My whole family is very Catholic and for almost every wedding that did not include a Catholic mass, my grandmother and at least a few aunts would sneak off to a mass, usually after the ceremony, but before the reception started. They usually did this because they figured they would be too tired to make it to Sunday morning mass. I've never heard of anyone going to a Saturday morning mass, I didn't even know that was a thing.

So I see where they are coming from. I wouldn't worry about it and let them go as long as they are back in time. I always thought my relatives were being silly running off to mass. It always made their day more hectic, but they only ever inconvenienced themselves so no one minded.

Do any of them need/want to have hair and makeup done? If so, I would just make sure everyone else was done before they returned. If not, then it doesn't matter. Just enjoy brunch with whoever is there, you'll still have a nice morning.

You're having a Catholic ceremony. I think that right there speaks mountains to supporting his family. I'm sure your Mom is looking forward to hosting a brunch and it would be sad to take that from her. I would have FH talk to her. She can still go to mass...just let you all have your brunch.

Tell her that part of your tradition is that the bride doesn't see the groom on the day of the wedding until it's time to get married (or do your first looks). Then, stand your ground.

PS: I think they're asking for too much, personally.