Give me a sanity check b4 I come off like a total b*tch to my sister...

I totally understand why you're pissed. You're stressed and it seems like such an easy thing that she should be able to do. Butttttttt....19 days seems like nothing to you with all you have to do, but to the rest of the world it's a long time. Just calm down, and trust that she'll get shoes and will look beautiful. And if not, what's the worst that can happen? All eyes will be on you, anyway!

Ladylee i dont think its B'tchy to tell her that you need her to get black satin shoes. any black satin shoes will do but you want satin ones so they will be similar- take a deep breath!

Yes, you are overanalyzing. NO one looks that closely at the bms shoes and for sure, no one will look close enough to even notice that one is leather and the other is satin and then disgustedly think they are ugly. Especially since they are wearing different dresses, it doesnt matter. And, your sister still has 19 days. that is plenty of time to buy a pair of shoes. Last I checked, it can take only a few hours to find shoes. And, if she has money and goes to a large store like DSW, not long at all.

*sorry, but if you had wanted them to wear the same shoe material, that is something you should have told her long ago when you told her what kind of dress to get. At this point, just let it go. it will work out, Im sure she will look lovely and no one but you will notice her shoes (unless of course you have photog take an up close pic of all yalls feet!)

now, if the shoes in her closet are combat boots, then by all means, drive to her house and take her shopping-haha

Just breath! Like Erin said 19 days to the outside world is FOREVER! If she doesn't get any before this weekend is over then she may be in need of a good PUSH...lol..But for now just settle down and breathe. Oh and I also agree that satin shoes are a bit more dressier. Forgive my brain by are the BM dresses short or long?

I agree with Erin. I think just let it slide--- but tell her you would prefer satin shoes. Honestly, I don't think anyone's going to go to your wedding and say "OH my goodness, did you see that one of her BMs had leather and the other had satin?! it was hideous!"

You should ask her if they are satin or leather, don't assume. Assuming gets me into trouble all the time, don't let it happen to you too lol.

....and if they are leather tell her butt to get to the store.

The dresses are knee length. They are the same color and the same fabric. It's basically the exact same dress except my sister's is strapless and I didn't want my 16 year old to wear strapless so hers has a goddess neckline. Yes the focus is primarily on the bride but people aren't going to close their eyes when they walk down the aisle. At this point I'm not going to stress about it. I've been giving her friendly reminders for several months about finding shoes but obviously she can't be bothered with it. I didn't give a whole lot of background b/c I want to focus on what's at hand but basically my sister has not taken any interest in my wedding whatsoever. If I could do things over, I would not have a bridal party at all. I thought that only having my sis and daughter would make things simple and stressfree and that just has not been the case at all. I'm to the point that I will probably have very little interaction with her at all when it comes to the wedding. (cont)

(cont) I'm very disappointed with how she has treated me but I'm not going to make a big fuss about it. Even my friends have noticed her lack of interest. Granted she lives an hour away but...well I'm not going to go down that path. I'm so over it. All I can say is if she ever gets married she's not getting any more out of me than she's given herself and that's next to nothing.

Maybe I'm the only weird person but I pay attention to details. The wedding guests will only be there for a few hours to notice or not notice but she is going to be in my pictures.

And maybe it's just a sore spot b/c like I said before I'm already frustrated with her and just all around disappointed. I don't know. It's not earth-shattering to say the least. But you put all this effort into coordinating your whole wedding and your own sister can't even be bothered to buy a damn pair of shoes.

Sorry I keep going off on tangents and forgetting to respond to actual posts lol. I did ask her if the shoes she has are leather or satin and added that my daughter's shoes are satin. She responded "leather". I thought that letting her know that the other shoes are satin is enough of a clue.

I understand your frustrations. It's annoying and hurtful that she hasn't been a part of your wedding planning. Realistically she still has plenty of time to buy shoes, and if it's that important to you, you need to directly tell her you want satin shoes. I know you are detail oriented and that sounds like part of it, but I think you are right--- it's a sore spot bc you are already so frustrated. You probably wouldn't be so worked up about the shoes if she was really supportive and a huge part of the planning. Truly, even in pictures, the shoes will look different whether or not they are the same fabric because they are different styles. Your wedding will be beautiful whether or not she gets the type of shoe you want.

But for her own sake, I hope she buys the shoes you want! I don't think she wants the wrath of LadyLee hehe

I'm not the type of person who would blow up at somebody about the details of my wedding. I'd rather she participate in the process b/c I'm her only sister and she's happy for me not b/c she fears my wrath. She's been my sister all my life ya know so I guess I shouldn't be surprised but it's definitely been very eye-opening. I stopped long ago trying to share the experience with her. I didn't even share with her when my dress came in or that I tried it on. I didn't send her any pictures. Whatever. Water under the bridge.

I understand your frustrations and there are going to be exascerbated (sp?) under the circumstances. I am much like you in that when I provide more than enough notice to get something done then I expect it to be done. I agree, if I had it to do all over again I wouldn't have a bridal party either too much stress and people will never feel the sense of urgency you do until its their day.

I think that your sister has been just pitiful towards you this whole time - but you DON"T need to give her that much of your energy. I think this is one of the most important time for brides - HERE is where the stress really starts and your immune system starts being broken down due to lack of sleep and stress. DON'T LET HER DO THAT TO YOU.

I know that you have limited budget and you don't want to gove over. WHen I was having a simular issue with my "stand in MOH" I just said to myself "I can't un-invite her now, and she is like a sister to me, and I do want her there. SO what can I do to make myself not stress?" I ended up buying her dress myself. Its under $200 so if she never pays me back I will be PO'd but I would be in bankruptcy.

Would it piss you off too much (or her) for you just to pick a cheap cute pair for her, get her shoe size and send it to her? Or keep them till the day of? That way you're comfortable about how the pics will look AND you've nixed the tude

It's your sister- she can buy a pair of satin shoes.

I dont think you're overreacting-with a long dress, I would say maybe, but with short dresses, shoes can really make or break it.

If she's had all this time to know she needs shoes, I would tell her to get some black satin shoes by friday or you'll find her some that you want her to wear. She's your sister, you can be tougher here

Keep us updated.

I offered about a month ago to pick up the same shoes for her that I got for my daughter. We were at the mall and I made it a point to check to see what sizes they still had left. she said that she was going to look around. I've tried very hard not to be a financial strain and not to be overbearing about my wedding. I've not made any outrageous demands. She picked out her own dress. At this point she could show up in rainbow colored flip flops. I'm just not going to give it any more energy. I'm not asking her again if she found shoes.

Wow. I can't believe your sister is making a big deal over some shoes! Since you allowed her to pick out her own dress the least she could do is get the shoes that you have requested her to wear. After all it is your day. But I don't feel like you should have to keep asking her over and over about if she found shoes. Being that she has not been an active participant in this entire process with you it seems like she would want to make this day go as easy for you as possible. But that is just me. Some people don't understand until they are in your shoes.

I think @MrsJ summed it up well and you said it yourself at this point is it worth your energy? I honestly don't understand people and also maybe it is just me but an hour is not that far away, is there no mall/shopping halfway between you? Not that you have the time or want to do it, but if you are at the mall maybe pick up those shoes like your daughters; you can always return them if she does not wear them.

Yikes! Ok, so I agree that she should be able to find shoes when she goes on Wednesday (and if she doesn't, she has time to order online) BUT there is no way that she can wear leather shoes! I would also notice that detail. It might be okay if they are a strappy shoe, but otherwise that would be a no-no as far as I'm concerned. I would just tell her directly that you want her to wear a satin shoe. Family or not, when people agree to be a part of your big day, they usually agree to purchase the dress and shoes (and sometimes more) that the bride selects/requests.