Beside myself and don't know what to do

Ninja- that is an excellent point! Haha

Julia- I just can't imagine why anyone would think that is okay. Unless you're a billionaire. Even then, giving money to an ex is a big no-no in my book. I don't even know what I would do if FH gave an ex $500. It wouldn't be pretty...

I'm just gonna out and say that it's more like those are gifts, not bribes. I don't jump to conclusions often but that is the lamest response I've ever heard before. He probably went to the concert with her.

$500 helll no!! I cant get past that.

Umm that's odd. Not sure if I would by the whole giving the money and concert tickets as a 'bribe'. I would do more investigation to be sure what was really going on. And the lying thing and for so long would be concerning

Agree with Janeen (as usual). He shouldn't have lied, but there are so many other ways to ask someone to stop contacting you than $ and concert tickets...

Natasha, I don't think she was harassing him. I think something is going on between them. If an ex was bothering me, I would not give them money to leave me alone.

Ummmm, can someone explain to me why you wouldn't just hang up if someone you didn't want to talk to called you? That seems like the simplest solution to me.

Your fiance sounds like he's making this story up. No one in their right mind gives someone money and concert tickets to stop calling, that's what caller ID and blocking her number is for. More like he's trying to bribe her not to tell you something, perhaps that he's been talking to her. Also, the fact that you found out from her is concerning and kinda reinforces my theory that he was trying to bribe her to keep her mouth shut. Occam's razor says you're still getting lied to or your fiance is an idiot. I'm sorry that both solutions suck.

@Janeen, Another possible solution in the "you're still getting lied to" camp

Agree with PPs. Heart is very heavy to be saying this, but this story doesn't smack of harassment to me--it smacks of affair.

Either way, I'm so sorry, Natasha.

I hope it isn't, but his story sounds like something you concoct when you know you're about to get caught doing something and are desperate to come up with an explanation, which is almost always ridiculous, but when you're worried, you can talk yourself into thinking it sounds plausible.

You and your FH definitely need to sit down and have a serious conversation about this. Did her messages match what he told you? Did she say why she decided to contact you now? I hope you can figure out what's really going on. I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

What Janeen said. If I was in your shoes, I wouldn't believe that the $500 and concert tickets were bribes to get her to stop harassing him. That's the most unbelieveable story I've ever heard. My gut would tell me that he's seeing her on his own accord and is just trying to save his ass now. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Okay...yes this is a serious problem, he shouldn't be keeping things form you like this and he should not be enocouraging her communication. But the bigger problem i see here is: why is he "afraid" to tell you? FH would never be afraid to tell me anything. That is what a relationship is based on...being able to talk to each other about everything...no fear involved.

I'm sorry you're going through this Natasha, being lied to really sucks. I have to agree with Janeen, these kind of seem like gifts to me. Did she allude to what type of contact they have had in the message she sent you?

Her message stated that she didn't appreciate me not letting him go to a funeral for someone in her family (no idea what she was talking about) and that she's known him since they were kids and she's not going anywhere. She then said that the tickets and money were to make it up to her.

He said he was afraid to tell me because he thought that I would get upset. He had cheated on me when we first got together and we worked through it to be able to stay together. I told him from that point on that he needed to be upfront and honest with me.

So what changed? He said he would be honest after cheating on you but he hasn't been... Natasha, I am so so sorry but it sounds like he's just trying to cover his tracks. I think you need to sit him down and get the whole story, no more bs.

ETA: with the info you provided us, it sounds like he has been talking to her and gave her these gifts, but couldn't go to her family's event and used you to get out of it. Maybe he was worried you'd find out? Either way, something is definitely fishy. I'm so sorry hon.

And he has a history of cheating...this is not looking good

The money and concert tickets were given to her to make up for the fact that he couldn't attend a funeral for someone in her family??

You don't give "makeup-up" gifts to someone you are not involved with. There would be no need to make anything up to her if she was truly harassing him. I'm sorry but I feel like your FH is leaving something out. You need to get off this forum and go sit down and have a long discussion with him. And he needs to be honest.

You need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with him. Ask him what is really going on. You really shouldn't be getting your information from his ex. You don't have to be mean about it, but he owes you the truth.

"He was afraid to tell me because he thought I would get upset" is never a valid reason. Example: Oh, I cheated on you but I was afraid to tell you because I thought you would get upset. No.

You really need to talk to him and find out the whole story. It's not okay that he's sending her money and giving her concert tickets... Maybe get her side of the story as well. Something just doesn't seem right.