Being on the same page with the FH about the wedding... Are you?

Break it down for him. He probably has NO idea that each person costs more. They just don't think of it that way! Let him know that each frat guy or child costs $XXXX and he will probably get right on board!

"Inviting random frat brothers he hasn't spoke to in years!!!"

Sounds like he has NO CLUE how much food and invites cost. Yikes. lol

I'm totally on the same page just in general.. I don't mind people coming to my wedding but were having it at a house, we don't have that much room. Our guest list already is more then we thought it would be because somebody thinks of somebody else to add or invite

Lol @KenWay I know the feeling. Trust me. My FH is the same way. Im like "hey do you think we should do favors?" he's like "I dont know its whatever you want". I tell him that i want a variety in flavors for the wedding cake and he tells me no, he wants all white cake. I'm thinking, what the eff?? who only eats white cake? lol I dont think they understand how stressful it all is and even though they have a hand in the planning, they tend to go a little overboard. I'm the one sticking to the budget and he's all like 'eh..t'll all work out'. Um...no. lol

FH and I have been on the same page for for everything expect flowers/decor. Our florist's price quote, I thought, was high and wanted to change the flowers to make it cheaper. He actually put his foot down (about flowers! Something he normally couldn't care less about) and said that we are going with what the florist recommended b/c he didn't want me to regret not having my favorite flowers and be upset about it later.

I think you're always going to find that the two of you have somewhat different ideas. I think the best idea is to work out a mutually agreeable budget, then have each of you research about half the things on it. If he's calling vendors and getting sticker shock, then he's likely to stop inviting random people without your even having to explain why he shouldn't.

FS was the same way. I have no idea what it is about the fraternity brothers thing. I had to do just that break it down to him in cost and also my general feelings on what I was looking for in my dream wedding and him to. We found a way to make it a nice balance. I gave in on something and he on others - sadly these fraternity brothers just wouldn't go away. I also asked FS this one if so and so didn't show up would you be completely bummed or shrug it off. If you shrugged it off, maybe they shouldn't be invited.

At the beginning we were pretty far apart on what we wanted. He was thinking the bigger, the better. A huge event with open bar, almsot the fairy tale princess stuff. We agreed on an orignal budget that was halfway between what I was willing to spend and what he was willing to spend.

It took some time, and talking and compromise to come to an agreement. But now we are both happy and moving forward with plans.

But compromise and working things out together is a great skill to develop for the rest of the marriage! Use this as an opportunity!

We know what we both want but he's still in denial about what it's going to cost!!! He gets upset with me because he thinks I don't realize the money we are spending and I look at him and go...ummm no I talk about it so matter of factly because I'm looking at it as money already spent....we agreed we were going to do this, we had an estimate of this much, what were you expecting? The price isn't going to magically go down by 50%! He's coming around though and while it's a lot of money we are skipping a lot of the small stuff.

It's so funny how guys in general don't have a CLUE about what goes into a wedding! The things he says sometimes... Wow! I'm sure you girls know what I'm talking about. Yes, honey we have to send out invitations that have an RSVP insert that people HAVE to send back. If they don't send them back how will we know how many people are coming? No, we can't have a bouncer at the front door, or a fake red carpet leading up the walkway, it's tacky darling. No your mother cannot bring her dog to the ceremony. Unless it's a seeing eye dog I don't plan on there being ANY animals at the wedding. Yes I have to have 2 dress fittings, to make sure it fits right. No you cannot go golfing before the ceremony. Yes stamps are a necessary expense

We agree on most things, and we are both very picky. He actually wants to buy crystal flutes for each person because the champagne glasses from the rental place are the tulip kind, and he wants flutes. On the other hand, he cheaps out on other things....cake stands....he wants to know why it is necessary. DUH. So, it is things like this that we disagree on. He does want to help decorate the reception site though...ugg....we agreed on the plan and did the tablescapes together, why not let the girls and I set up? I think we may be bickering on the morning of the wedding. I wish I had hired a planner. But...he cheaped out on that one saying I was great at organizing and decorating. UGGG

Haha Paige so true! lol, that's hilarious! Favorite one for FH - "No your cousin that likes to take pictures cannot be our wedding photographer! These are our WEDDING pictures that last foreeevvveerrrr."

HAHAHA @Carole B - My FH said the same thing about getting decorations for the cake table. He was like take some napkins, do the drapey thing, you're good to go! I'm like Lord Jesus, stay away from the reception when the staff is setting up, you are not allowed to tell them to change anything!!

YA!!! @ Sydney - he was like doesn't your cousin make really good brownies? Do you think she can make our cake? OMFG seriously? They're brownies.... from a box.... *closes eyes and counts to ten, takes a deeeeep breath* No my love she can't make the 4-tier intricate designed, white chocolate raspberry, with whipped frosting cake for us. (Him) Well,... can you at least ask?

oh geez

@Carole B- why not rent champagne flutes? That seems like quite an expense for a favor to the guests- how generous!!!

@Paige B_ you are spot on! I thought that FH would like the "email RSVP" vs. paying for postage on the reply cards- and he was completely opposite! He said- "There are some things that I won't budge on- that's so impersonal to RSVP by email"...it TOTALLY shocked me! I thought he would have gone in the other direction! LOL

We are still in the early phases of planning, so not to many decisions yet.

Paige.... LMAO at the brownies because according to the FH, there are "No good Italian bakeries" in Vermont, and I am baking/bringing the pizzelles(making), ricotta pies(making), and buying the cannollis, and carting them from Philadelphia to Vermont. Yes...the cannolli shell will be separate, and I will shoot the cream and dip them in the choco morsels at the venue the morning of.

On the day of....I am hoping his best man will keep him occupied and out from under my feet.

sailingnurseMD: He found some German crystal at the Christmas Tree Shopp...that are only $2.00 a piece. But, I already have favors...heart shaped maple candy in a lovely box that lends to the decor of the table. The thing is, most guests are riding the motorcycles to Vermont...so how the heck will they take them home, but more importantly, do you think they care.

Oh...since we are allowed to do our own bar at the B and B where we are having it....the booze discussion was quite fun. He is a wine snob.

I almost always love what Meghan B. has to say...

Her advice is how I feel...except the $ isssue is not an issue with my FH and I. We totally feel the less is better...because we dont have that much! lol

He says do what makes me happy...but just being with him makes me happy...you def need to meet in the middle...sometimes you have to do things that dont make you the happiest to make him happy and sometimes he will have to do the same. Just try to talk about it and meet in the middle Good luck

We were on the same page but different paragraphs!

lol

Guys and moms always tend to want to invite everyone they have ever spent more than 10 mins talking to!

This is your first test in compromise and communication.

Set the budget. Stick to it. Understand where you need to cut in order to make it happen. He has to agree and back you up, especially against the family/parents.

We are on the same page about mostly everything except on the number and ages of flowere girls and ring boys. I just want one of each and I don't want any kids under the age of 4. He wants a two year old and a younger kid and he wants to have like every kid in our families involved. I just don't think he realizes how much stress that's going to add to our ceremony

*flower* sorry for the typo