Disappointed mom of groom

You make it sound like your son is being bulldozed by your FDIL and his FMIL. How do you know this is the case? How do you know they didn't sit down together and make the decision to only have 30 of your side?

Sounds like your future daughter in law wears the pants in the relationship

OK. thanks for clarifying. While it does suck to only have 30 people total from your side it seems a little late to raise a stink about it now. If you've already raised your concerns then there isn't much else to be done... unless you want to go all doolally-tap like Jaklyn's FMIL did and try and force extra people on the bride and groom. (Please don't!)

If you do decide to approach the issue again, just be calm and respectful when you do. Most of the push back I've noticed from soon to be married couples is when their parents start to act like children throwing tantrums!

I wish you the best of luck in this... and even if only 30 people get to come in the end, just try to smile and enjoy the day. The amount of guests from your side wont even matter anymore when you see your son getting married.

Meh. I wish I could help. My only suggestion is to stay out of it. If your son feels like it isn't fair, he needs to speak up. The only thing my FH & I fought about regarding the wedding was the guest list. It can be a very touchy subject. Let your son handle it.

@Mother G - If money is not an issue, would you be willing to host your own post-wedding reception for your son and daughter-in-law? That way you could have 100% control of the guest list and invite all the friends and family that would want to celebrate the bride and groom. I know it isn't the same as the wedding, but it might be a good compromise.

@Mother G - If money is not an issue, would you be willing to host your own post-wedding reception for your son and daughter-in-law? That way you could have 100% control of the guest list and invite all the friends and family that would want to celebrate the bride and groom. I know it isn't the same as the wedding, but it might be a good compromise.

This really sucks and is definitely not fair. I couldn't imagine limiting my in-laws like that on our wedding day! This is a conversation that you need to have with your son and express your feelings, so he can work out a compromise when talking with his bride and future in-laws. Have you thought about offering to pay for the cost of the meal and beverage of the additional guests you would like to invite?

30 people sounds good to me! We only got 2 out of 120. No explanation given to us for the snub. We were never even asked for a guest list. And we had to host a rehearsal dinner for 60. The cost of the dinner was $10,000+. We are still in shock.

I am the Mother of the groom. The FOG (my ex) and my ex girl-friend ran off together out of the blue 20 years ago when my exes family came into serious wealth. They moved back into my neighborhood and flaunted their relationship and money in my face for years until, I was finally able to sell my house in a VERY bad real estate market, just to get away from them. No, I did not go after the money, because that isn't me and I just wanted primary custody. In summary, the whole situation has been tumultuous and acrimonious (to say the VERY least) for years!

Anyway, (and I am trying to shorten a horribly long story here) all of my family lives out of town, while my exes family, as well as his current wife's family are all local. This does not mean that my son has had no relationship with my family, though. The opposite, in fact. My FDI has most of her family local as well. My son, as well as his step siblings have grown up being showered by trips, parties, money, cars, boats, etc so...naturally, my son preferred spending time on that side of the family even though I had primary custody. Incidentally, I was a great Mom! I went to all the school events, made lunch to go every morning, soccer mom, etc. I just tried to "ground" him, and was not a Disneyland parent like the other side.

So, the situation is this....the Bride and Groom have to decided to keep the wedding small (ONLY 200 people...lol), and have decided to not invite out of town relatives, or people that the Bride has not met. That is pretty much everyone I know! So, I will be surrounded by the people that I despise the most, and all of their fake-friends (otherwise known as "the parasites" that hang around rich people), and the Bride's family, which I don't know except for her parents....and the couple's mutual friends, most of which I don't know. It has been "suggested" that all of the parents contribute to the wedding. At this particular moment, I am inclined to decline from any contributions, as in seems clear that they simply don't care about my feelings at all. I'm actually leaning towards not even attending the wedding!

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought the Bride's Mother and the Groom's Mother (the ones that actually raised them selflessly!) were the most honored guests...besides the couple, of course. Need some advice...