Different types of showers

First of all, TECHNICALLY, your mom shouldn't throw you a shower. Multiple showers would, I assume, include the same guest multiple times.

One shower,gifts for the both of you.

A bridal shower, a wedding shower, etc. Whatever you want to call it, is usually in honour of the bride with the female family members in attendance. A shower is for registry items, to set-up the household for the couple, traditionally, the groom was not usually in attendance. However, in the past 20plus years, that has changed.

Do what you want. You and your friends have different styles and views from how we do things on WW. I have no idea why you are even asking an opinion.

When I was married to my x, I had a personal shower. It was lingerie and stuff. Then a 'coed' shower with stuff for us both... toaster, crockpot, etc.

This time around I don't need much, I was pretty much fine without having any showers. My FMIL/FSIL asked to throw us one when we are there over Christmas break. My work colleagues/friends are planning a 'personal' shower (I guess you can call it that...) this spring. We will drink wine, open lingerie and 'toys', I guess... always... lol. :-o

Maybe because I'm ancient, but I can't imagine anything more mortifying than opening up lingerie and sex toys in a group.

Lingerie showers are just that, and they are usually in lieu of a bachelorette. I've been to a few of those. They are fun, but they are a "know your crowd".

@Jessie nailed it. This is a lingerie shower. As others have said, it should not be thrown by a parent, and it generally would replace the bachelorette or be part of the festivities.

You can have whatever kind of shower you want! I have been to a lingerie shower. I have been to a panty party shower. ... be creative as you want and register for what you need. I think it's unique!

Thank you. So do I just tell my mom no? I don't want to hurt her feelings and seem ungrateful. I don't see why a lingerie shower would take the place of a bachelorette party. It wouldn't even be the same people and I obviously won't have strippers at a shower. Lol!

EW - A lingerie party is basically a girl's night. You get a bunch of your girl friends, you open skanky lingerie, you talk about what you're going to do in that lingerie, there's usually lots of booze flowing, possibly some edible penis cakes or cookies depending on your host. Do you: a) want your mom there? b) want a separate bachelorette?

Yes, you would invite the same girls to the lingerie shower as your bachelorette. Who else would get you skanky underwear? Great Aunt Gertrude?

Erin, my MOH is actually throwing one of these for me. I had never even heard of this until she brought it up. I didn't even know that something like this existed lol so you're not alone there.

Please don't let your mom throw that for you! Plus, your mom isn't supposed to throw the shower; showers are thrown by BP members, other female relatives, or friends of the family.

ETA: types of showers: kitchen shower, linen shower, lingerie shower, tool and garden shower, and miscellaneous. Usually the invitation specifies that it is a kitchen shower honoring the bride or something like that. The tool and garden shower is usually more masculine and the groom might like to attend that one.

I've been to showers where the bride just got lingere, and ones where they got registry items. Sometimes that has to be specified, but it depends. You could do a combo of both if you're comfortable with that. I'm having a mini-lingere shower as part of my bachlorette party because I just about died having to open scanty pjs in front of fmil, much less actual lingere!!

It sounds like a lingerie party and a bachelorette party are the same thing. I see what you mean now. Definitely don't want my family at that. But I would not subject my friends to a traditional shower. They would rather serve jury duty. Lol! I don't have a MOH so I most likely won't have a shower which was kind of what I thought all along until my Mom brought it up. She'll be fine. I think she just likes all that traditional stuff. I'm an only child so she won't have any other opportunity to attend a shower for a daughter.

Rolling my eyes at all the comments that says mom shouldn't throw showers. Why not? Because some person 50 years ago decided it was "poor etiquette?" Things change I'm pretty sure people then didn't live together then before marriage or do "first looks" or have donut walls, either.

I've only been to showers thrown by moms. A hybrid of my mom/fmil/moh/fsil are doing mine but I think it's just going to be lunch (which is fine with me)

Let your mother feel like shes doing something for you. Sometimes celebrating isnt always the way etiquette books say. Enjoy your time

Because Kate, it looks gift grabby. "Give my daughter presents! Ideally sex toys!"

I've also heard about 'around the clock' showers, where they bring gifts specific to a time of day -- 8:00 AM -- toaster, 6:00 PM -- cocktail shaker, etc.

My friend's mom and sisters threw her a lingerie shower last year ( they skipped the bridal shower) I thought it was different and we had tons of fun.

I'm just going to have a shower with both of us there. And people just get us what I have on my registrys.