Did you tell people who weren't invited about your engagement/wedding?

No, you did nothing wrong. They have events and don't include you so I don't understand how they expect to be invited to your event. You rarely speak so not talking to you is nothing new here. Unfriended you on Facebook? Who cares.

ETA: You are not obligated to invite people just because you know them. Especially on Facebook. If at anytime they were ever your friend, they would communicate with you face to face. Not just on Facebook.

I don't think you did anything wrong. I would just let them be upset because there's no way you're going to be able to please everyone throughout this process. Some people are going to have hurt feelings or end up feeling left out. It doesn't sound like they were much of your friends anyway especially acting like that. If it's really bothering you though, maybe reach out to them and explain why you didn't tell them. Unfriending you on FB for this is pretty childish of them.

I was so happy when DH and I got engaged, I wanted to shout it to the word. I did post it on Facebook (after my family and closest friends were told). I knew I wouldn't be inviting every Facebook friend but I also kind of nipped the issue of everyone expecting to be invited in the bud early with a post about limited space and budget plus having a large family meaning as much as I wanted to invite many more people I just would't be able to. I didn't post wedding related information on my Facebook wall (because I didn't want people not invited to the wedding to have to see a million details about a wedding they wouldn't be invited to. I did create a "secret group" where I could post wedding details and only "allowed" invited guests to access that page.

I don't know that you were wrong if I take the situation at face value but do you normally post life events on Facebook (like if you got a new pet, a new job or moved)? If you normally do and you chose not to post about your engagement I would probably wonder why that wasn't shared.

People are insane when it comes to weddings, blow it off. Telling them every detail of your wedding and then BTW you're not invited would have been rude. I have a co-worker whom I barely tolerate, and only talk to when I absolutely have to, and she threw a whole drama episode because she was not invited to my wedding. No one that I am working with was. People are crazy, ignore them.

Not only did you not do anything wrong, but it sounds like these "women" have done you a favour. That level of immaturity is not something anyone needs.

You are not in the wrong here! I'm going to assume none of them are married (correct me if I am wrong) as if any of them were married and had gone through the planning process they would not of acted so childish. And if I am wrong, and they are married then you don't deserve 'friends' like that. As previously stated, you cannot please everyone with your wedding and you should really only worry about what makes you and your SO happy when it comes to your wedding day.

I'm sorry that they are acting like children in this situation but you are no means in the wrong.

I honestly don't think you did anything wrong. I think you did the right thing because you didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. You can't please everyone. I actually had the same situation happen to me. I had a close friend and we grew apart. She never called or text me, or invited me anywhere. and vice versa. When FH and I got engaged I tried my best to not post anything on FB. you can't stop other people though so she found out and was upset she wasn't one of the first people to find out. Like seriously we haven't spoke in 2 years. I think that if it is bothering you that they are being childish and you want to let them know then go ahead otherwise I would just let them be, because they really aren't friends.

I don't think that you did anything wrong. I had a similar situation where I have some girls I was close with in high school but we have drifted apart. They are still close with one of my bridesmaids so they assumed that they would be invited to the wedding. Since I don't hang out with them or see them it made sense for me to not invite them but I am sure that they might have been hurt. It's hard making those decisions but stick with inviting who you want to invite and then as long as you are happy, that's all that matters!

Wow. I don't know how old they are but they don't sound very mature.

I feel like if you directly told them they weren't invited that would be rude and they would have a reason to feel upset. But for them to assume they were invited and then unfriend you/stop speaking to you sounds ridiculously immature.

You didn't do anything wrong if you never intended on inviting them anyway. They sound immature and not worth your time. Friends grow apart, don't take it personally and move on with your life.

I agree with the other ladies - you didn't do anything wrong. They don't really seem like friends anyway, if they would defriend you on social media and haven't invited you to any of their get togethers lately.

We announced our engagement publicly on social media. However, I don't post wedding details or information on social media and I try to avoid talking too much about it at work, since we are not inviting any coworkers. You did absolutely nothing wrong. This group of girls stopped including you long ago and it is absolutely ridiculous that they have decided to unfriend you on facebook since THEY actually unfriended YOU in real life years ago. Do not let this bother you one bit.

Ugh, people take Facebook WAY too seriously. I'd take it as a blessing that they unfriended you over something so stupid. (Not saying your wedding is stupid, but deleting someone who you don't even see because they didn't invite you to their wedding is SO STUPID.)

Whoooooo cares, my own family members have deleted me...and re added me...over lord knows what.

You're in the clear-- you did nothing wrong. In fact, I applaud you for not feeling required to include them... I wish I had been that brave when selecting guests. Got guilted into inviting "old friends" because I felt I "had to." Stupid.

There's nothing wrong with announcing your engagement on FB -- after all, people post pictures of the exotic salad they ordered for lunch. An engagement is slightly more important than your dining habits. If the questions roll in about the wedding after you announced your engagement, you diffuse them by saying, "We just got engaged! We have lots of time to plan our wedding. For now, I just can't stop staring at my engagement ring and celebrating the fact that I've found the person I'm going to marry". Weddings? Well, I'd be careful about announcing your wedding on social media until it's over and you have pics to post, but if the questions come up, just say, "Oh, we would have loved to invite so many more people than we did, but that just wasn't possible".

In the OPs case, if these are women who did not include you in their regularly scheduled social events, you've lost nothing more than a few potential "likes" on your pics or a few one sentence responses to your posts. Forget them and move on.

Wow . Thank you for all of the feedback and for confirming that I am not crazy. For the record, we are not-nor have we ever been-Facebook public. No relationship status, no engagement announcement and hardly any tagged photos/posts - I could probably count the amount on one hand in almost four years together. You knew about our engagement and probably the wedding only if you are a regular part of our lives. Otherwise, you would only find out if you asked me directly or ran into a mutual friend (which is my guess as to what happened). One of the girls confronted me and asked what happened and I reached out to the others. I got no response from the others and the girl who actually asked seemed to get it. She's also the only one in a relationship - someone asked if the others were single and I hadn't considered that. I guess I have to let the friendships go. It's too bad. But I can't let it ruin my experience.

I don't think you did anything wrong either. I have people that I speak to and hang out with who aren't invited because of funds. They know and understand.

Oh, and also? I'm in my early 30s and they are all around the same age. In fact, the more I think about it, the more ridiculous it seems. I'm not a malicious person and I really thought I made the best decision. Maybe they'll understand one day when/if they have a wedding (which I am guessing I won't be invited to).

Wow. I'm sorry, those 'friends' are ridiculous. Their reaction is really immature. They should be happy for you whether or not they are invited.

I followed the exact same pattern of communication as Theresa B. I announced my engagement on FB, but I haven't posted wedding details in order to spare those who cannot be invited. I created a secret page so I could exchange pictures and updates with my bridesmaid and other key players. It has worked very well! I've only had one person hound me for details. I expressed that I was unable to invite them due to space and they accepted that reality.