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Dedicated May 2022

Did you pick out your ring?

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Stephanie, on May 21, 2018 at 1:58 AM

My and my bf have been talking about getting married for a few months now. Marriage has never been a thing hes ever cared about, his views are its just a piece of paper and the most important thing is that we are together, but he knows getting married is something that is really important to me and thats why his willing to do it.

The other day we were looking at different types of rings, we both know we want to stay clear of the traditional diamonds and do something different and unique.

As we were looking at the different rings he was talking about how he feels bad and unsure because im actually helping him pick out a ring for myself so he feels like thats taking away the suprise of him actually proposing.

I told him that i believe its common for women to help pick out an engagement ring but he still seemed kinda down about it, maybe if he sees from some of Y'all on here it'll help him feel less guilty.

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108 Comments

Dedicated October 2018
Nicole · on May 21, 2018 at 6:31 AM
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I didn’t go with him , but I sent him pictures for a couple months and my ring is pretty much like the pictures I had been sending.
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Expert September 2019
Anna · on May 21, 2018 at 6:44 AM
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Definitely common, and honestly the smart way to go. Being open with each other and talking about marriage before the proposal is wonderful. I picked out my ring too. It also helped both of us get a better idea of what I wanted haha
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Dedicated August 2018
Jalisa · on May 21, 2018 at 6:51 AM
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Yes, I basically picked mine out. He knew what I liked (rose gold, pear shaped, morganite) and showed me a couple rings he had in mind. So I told him which one was my favorite lol also told him 1 or 2 other favorites just in case
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Dedicated November 2018
Jaci · on May 21, 2018 at 7:06 AM
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I tagged him in a ring I liked on Instagram quite a while before I proposed. Was still a surprise. And he chose the rose gold finish on it.
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Expert November 2018
Kristin · on May 21, 2018 at 7:07 AM
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I helped design mine with him in August of 2016 at Kays, then told him he should probably get it elsewhere because despite telling them multiple times I didn't want him to buy it with me there they kept pushing. Then he went back in November of 2016 and ordered it there anyways (I got all the paperwork for insurance lol) and it was supposed to be ready in February, then he was waiting to propose on our trip to Japan in July/August. He told me at the airport he forgot to pack it. I guess that was a good thing, because I was expecting it at that point, what else could he be waiting for. Then we go away for our anniversary in October 2017 and he waits until the day after our 10 year anniversary. He's lucky I love him.
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Expert February 2018
Kiersten · on May 21, 2018 at 7:09 AM
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I picked out my own ring. Which ended up being a good thing, because it was the complete opposite of what I had thought I wanted and the photos I had given him for ideas. We made a day of it, went to like four or five jewelry stores, had lunch and generally just enjoyed each other's company. My hubby was glad in the end that we did it together.
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Expert May 2019
Ashley1luv3 · on May 21, 2018 at 7:25 AM
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I would just give him several options and show him ideas of what you want but let him ultimately make the final decision. My fiance and I would always send each other pinterest ideas of what we liked and whenever we were at the mall we would stop by the jewelry store just browsing and showing each other what we wanted. That made him feel better about making his decision bc he was always nervous about getting something I didn't like. Even tho I could care less what the ring look like as long as I get to marry him.
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Master October 2018
MrsV1027 · on May 21, 2018 at 7:45 AM
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When we first started dating he said he never wanted to get married again. We'd both been previously married so I figured we'd just be one of those couples that just didn't get married. I literally never even thought about looking at engagement rings or tried to drop any hints of what I liked. Apparently he was looking for months and went to the jeweler by our house and picked out one and adding pink sapphires to it and upgraded the diamond. It's the perfect ring for me. I 100% would have picked the one he got me lol
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Beginner June 2019
Maria · on May 21, 2018 at 7:48 AM
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We were in the same boat. Discussing it. We started going to places and looking because he’s not good at this stuff at all and he said if he’s gonna spend money on something he wants it to be exactly what I want and for me to love it without question. He knows I’ll love whatever he picked but I actually loved every minute of doing this stuff with him.

We even ended up planning the whole thing and twlling everyone even before the ring was done being made and it made the moment even that moment even that much more special. You are not less excited. It’s still a surprise because you have no idea when he’s gonna do it. And you get to ENJOY the moment. Not running off all giddy making phone calls like OMG DID YOU KNOW?! You enjoy it with him. I wouldn’t change a thing
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VIP October 2018
Jessica · on May 21, 2018 at 7:52 AM
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I didn't pick the ring exactly, but FH and I had a couple of conversations about it. I don't wear gold, just silver. And I told him that if he spent an arm and a leg on a ring, it'd end up on the pawn shop the next day 😂 so he proposed with a family heirloom piece that's been in his family for 5 generations (never worn, just passed down) and I love it! ❤
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VIP May 2019
Swtnss238 · on May 21, 2018 at 7:53 AM
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I picked mine. He wanted me to pic it out. He wanted to make sure it was exactly what I wanted.
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Expert October 2018
Fiona · on May 21, 2018 at 8:02 AM
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Yes I told a close friend the exact ring I wanted and told my Fiancé that when the time came he should talk to that friend to get advice on the ring. That way he still had the option to pick either that exact ring or something similar and it would still be him making the final decision. Thankfully he was smart and got the exact one I wanted, but I had no direct interaction with choosing it so it was still a surprise when it happened!
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Expert April 2019
Erika · on May 21, 2018 at 8:02 AM
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We went to some jewelry stores together and I tried on a ton of rings and gave input on what I liked/didn't like. He picked it out with two close friends of ours after hearing/seeing what I liked. He chose one better than I had even hoped!
I think input is important because they want you to be happy. It's totally ok to pick it out, show pics, give opinions. It can still be a surprise, mine totally was. 😉
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Devoted June 2018
Janette · on May 21, 2018 at 8:19 AM
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I went with my fiance to pick out a ring. I don't wear jewelry so I wanted to make sure I liked it so we went to ring stores and I went and tried a bunch on to see what I liked. We had a friend of mines dad make it. I told him I didn't want to know when he was going to propose and he proposed a month later.
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Master August 2018
Kristina · on May 21, 2018 at 8:26 AM
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I showed FH styles I liked, but the actual ring I didn't pick out myself, that was a surprise. But we did go to a few jewelry stores together and I showed him what cut and style I liked so he had an idea! Maybe explain it to him that way? I think it's super awesome and romantic that 1- he's willing to do this for you despite his own views on marriage and 2- he genuinely cares about you liking the ring. Bring up these points with him and tell him no matter what, you don't know when he's going to actually purchase the ring, and when or how he will propose. Not all proposals are 100% a surprise. I think the fact that you guys have talked about it just shows the both of you that you're willing to spend the rest of your lives together, and that is more special than a complete surprise!
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Super August 2018
Shayna · on May 21, 2018 at 8:30 AM
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I didn’t pick out my ring, but we did discuss what style I wanted quite heavily. I wanted a yellow sapphire, which isn’t very common at all for a ring, especially an engagement ring. I told him I wanted it set in white gold and a solitaire. I told him I prefer round, oval or marquis cut. But round is my favorite. He did an awesome job! I know very few women who didn’t show or discuss with their significant others the style and type of ring they wanted.
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Expert October 2018
ArwenToHisAragorn · on May 21, 2018 at 8:33 AM
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He took me with him to pick my ring out; he wanted to make sure if I was going to wear it every day for the rest of forever that I loved it! I would have loved anything he picked out but I appreciated him asking for my input lol
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Super October 2017
OrangeCrush · on May 21, 2018 at 8:37 AM
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Nope - hubby surprised me first by proposing, then by offering up an antique ring belonging to his great grandmother.
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Dedicated July 2018
Chelsie · on May 21, 2018 at 8:38 AM
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We went and looked at rings together. I tried on probably five I truly liked, and he didn’t buy it til a year later. I had no idea it was coming and the ring selection. I don’t regret shopping prior together though. It was nice for the both of us.
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Expert June 2019
Amelia · on May 21, 2018 at 8:41 AM
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I went ring shopping with my FH twice, and when his mother gifted us his grandmother's ring I went to help design the new setting. If I'm wearing it for the rest of my life then it should be exactly what I want-- at the end of the day I was still totally SURPRISED (which I didn't think was possible). AND, the ring was even more beautiful that I could ever have imagined, regardless of how involved I was in the process.
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