(Long post ahead--sorry & thanks in advance for any & all advice/input!)
Who eloped (or planning to elope)--eloped defined as: it was just you, your future spouse, the officiant, and maybe a photographer, but no one else? I really want to pick your brain(s)! What were your pros & cons? Did you tell anyone prior to saying " I do"--if yes, how did it go/was received? What do you wish you did that you didn't do, or did that you wish you didn't? Also, anyone have any problems with family/friends slipping and letting people know you were married before you had the chance to announce it the way you wanted? I'm fairly positive my mom (who will be thrilled. seriously, she can't wait for us to get engaged lol) would be so excited, she would tell everyone, their sister, and all of facebook that we got engaged/hitched.
We recently got engaged, and we haven't told anyone,not even our families, because once we do, we know it will be the onset of a million & one questions. The biggest reason we haven't told our families is because we don't want to hurt their feelings by telling them "Yay, we're finally getting hitched, but you're not invited, or included, in any of the ceremony." (Obviously not that exact statement because it's rude/hurtful) So now we're playing the 'do we tell them before or after--after being the next day? ' game.
[Back story] We've both been married previously and did the whole "big white wedding" with our family & friends. With my first wedding, my mom and I (we really do have a great relationship) fought a lot because she couldn't take a backseat to what I wanted/envisioned. She's the type that isn't flexible when she thinks she is right and her way is better(and she always thinks this)--it caused a lot of unnecessary stress and drama for me. So much that I eventually gave up planning and let her run with what she thought was best. (For a while, I really thought our relationship was going to fracture and unsure it would ever heal.) I'm extremely grateful for her hard work and everything she put into it for me. (It was a beautiful wedding.) This is what I don't want to happen, which is why I'm set on eloping.
Ideally, I'd love to have our intimate ceremony and private moments, then have our families join us for family photos on our actual wedding day followed by a nice, relaxing dinner. (Partially because I would love for them to be there after, and they wouldn't have to feel pressure to come down for our post-elopement celebration. We live several states away from our families, and we'd have more quality time with them).
Thanks again for any advice--and sorry for the novel.