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Ona
Savvy September 2020

Did i just get hustled by my grandmother...? Do i have the right to be upset? Also, any ideas on affordable last minute dresses?

Ona, on June 27, 2020 at 8:08 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 50

Hello everyone! This is my dream dress, it's $2,400...

I picked it out after my great-grandmother told me she WANTED to buy my dress and to go pick out what I wanted and let her know how much it was. She never insinuated that there was a cap, didn't give me a price range and is pretty comfortable, financially.

However, after finding this lovely treasure after searching for months, I get back to her and my excitement quickly diminished into sadness (it gets worse) when she said "actually, I'll send you half the cost of the dress." so, at this point I'm still trying to keep my hopes up so I say "ok, thats works!" a couple months later (at this point I still hadn't received any money from her nor did she bring up the dress after she said she would pay for half) I get a text from the bridal boutique saying that my dream dress is on sale!!!! YAY!! or so I thought... I call my grandmother and let her know that its on sale and remind her that it has to be custom made so the sooner the better so that alterations can be made if necessary, she did not like that. She responded by getting very upset with me, asking "what exactly do (I) expect from (her)" utterly confused, I responded by saying "I'm sorry if I upset you. I thought that we had already agreed on all this before hand?" she angrily says to me "Listen, I will send you $1,000 and you can put that towards your dress and don't ask me for anymore." I say "ok, sounds good." but is it really all good...?! I think not.

Fast forward to over a year later (wedding was in less than two months at this point) and I have received NO money from her and there has been NO mention of the dress. My fiancé and I were in the middle of moving (she knows this) and she calls me out of the blue to say that she is going to send me $1,000. I, thinking this was just a generous house warming gift say of thats so nice, you don't have to do that, thank you, yada yada... this would be pretty normal for her because last time we moved she bought us some furniture that came out to be well over $1,000 and she likes to give lavish and expensive gifts.

This is where things get kinda wonky...

She sends me an email with a screenshot from her Capital One app on her iPad that states that she has sent me a bill pay in the amount of $600 and she writes in the e-mail "another $400 in a couple days..." my fiancé and I both thought it seemed like a ridiculously inefficient way to send money but hey, who cares it's so nice of her to send it at all and she's an old lady so maybe that just seemed like the best way in her mind. I receive the check for $600 about two weeks later so I text her to let her know I got it like she asked, everything was fine, I was like thanks love you, etc.. and she reciprocated the sentiment.

Fast forward another few weeks, second check hasn't come yet and having assumed that the money was in my and my finances opinion quite obviously a house warming gift, we spent just about all of the $600 on house stuff.

Sitting on one of our new chairs in the living room, the thought pops into my head "was that money supposed to be the money for my dress?" as you can imagine a sheer panic immediately came over me and I said to my fiancé "I think that money was supposed to be for my dress!" he thought that seemed just as ludicrous as I thought it was but also knew that it may very well be the case.

That day I decided to start looking for a new dress under $400 hoping that she would still be sending that amount at some point before the wedding but after scrolling through all the used and discount dress sites, I got so upset that I just went into the bathroom and cried instead.

I have no idea how to address this issue with her or if I even should.

Which brings me to my final question: does anyone have any good ideas on where to find affordable wedding dresses?

Besides, Poshmark, BHLDN, StillWhite, Reformation


Did i just get hustled by my grandmother...? Do i have the right to be upset? Also, any ideas on affordable last minute dresses? 1

and Etsy...?

50 Comments

Latest activity by Miya, on July 6, 2020 at 2:17 PM
  • M
    Master October 2021
    Mrs.a ·
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    Try Cocomelody! They have lots of lovely affordable dresses. I’ve also heard good things about Azazie. Good luck! ❤️
    • Reply
  • Mindy
    Super November 2020
    Mindy ·
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    I have heard a lot of people take about azazie and Lulu’s and jj’s house.
    I’m so sorry that you went through all that. Planning has been stressful enough with all the covid interruptions.
    • Reply
  • Alma
    Expert October 2020
    Alma ·
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    Hey girl! I’m sorry about all this dress stress! Hope everything works out for you...and it will Smiley smile check out lulus https://www.lulus.com/categories/2042_3502/bridal-dresses.html
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Expert October 2021
    Samantha ·
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    My bet is that your Grandmother didn't realize that you would pick a dress in that price range. She wanted to do something nice and was then embarrassed that it was more than she wished to spend (she should have given you a budget and you should have asked for one). If you knew that you still needed money for your dress, it may have been more wise to have saved the money you received until your dress was paid for. Assumptions were made and now I think you need to save up for a dress. I wouldn't feel too upset at your Grandmother. She promised 1000$ and you received that amount. I'm sure you are appreciative. Send her a thank you note, she would appreciate one.
    • Reply
  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I don’t think I’d bring up the issue with her anymore to be honest she seems wishy washy.


    You can try amazon too
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  • Anna
    VIP October 2020
    Anna ·
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    David’s Bridal and Azazie have been my favorite for shopping on a budget. DB has a clearance rack in their store and many amazing dresses.
    • Reply
  • Shelley
    Just Said Yes July 2020
    Shelley ·
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    I don’t think you should expect anything from anyone. Good luck!
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  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    I completely agree with this!

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  • Tonilynn
    Dedicated September 2020
    Tonilynn ·
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    I got my gorgeous gown for $297 at a bridal boutique that does prom dresses and evening gowns... was on sale and I can’t wait to wear it.. you don’t have to spend an arm and a leg for a gorgeous dress I promise there are some good finds out there ... I was willing to pay wY more for a dress but fell in love with mine
    • Reply
  • J
    Master October 2022
    Jana ·
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    Yes you did get hustled. Keep looking for something you love and don't rely on others to foot the bill.
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  • W
    VIP September 2020
    Willow ·
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    You did not get "hustled." She promised you a gift, she followed through after being wishy washy. You assumed the $600 was yet another gift for something else, when she had yet to give you the full amount for your dress.


    It was wrong of her to be wishy washy when you were relying on her gift. It was a mistake for you to assume more money was coming. She's clearly agitated. I would stop bothering her. That dress was clearly out of her budget/what she was expecting to pay, hence the installment payments.
    David's Bridal is having constant sales.
    • Reply
  • RaylaSan
    Expert February 2021
    RaylaSan ·
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    I got my wedding dress on Azazie for $325, and I love it. I'm sorry you're having wedding dress troubles, but I don't think you should push all the blame towards your grandmother. At least she sent you some money, and I promise you that there are a lot of affordable wedding dresses within that price range.

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  • Michelle
    Master April 2021
    Michelle ·
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    I was able to get my dress from brilliant bridal in Phoenix AZ. Original price was $1700 & was marked down to $810. The dresses are marked down from 30-70% off.
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  • Blane
    Savvy August 2021
    Blane ·
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    I think maybe just be grateful that she made the offer and avoid depending on anyone paying for your gown even if they say they will. Ultimately buying your own clothes is your responsibility. And assuming the money was a housewarming gift was a communication error on both parts. Sounds like there are two sides to this story and we only get half. It’s a family issue clearly so I hope you work it out with her. It’s always best to plan a wedding within your own budget not someone else’s just in case... can’t count the chickens before they hatch unfortunately. But luckily there are plenty of gowns that go on sale or are sample gown you buy off the rack.
    • Reply
  • KiwiDerbyBride
    VIP May 2015
    KiwiDerbyBride ·
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    Aaaaaaand this is why you will find a lot of people on this site saying no matter who promises you money for your wedding, don’t count on it or include it in your budget until it’s in your bank account and the cheque has cleared. Don’t say anything to her, it’ll only cause resentment.

    Dress wise - see if you can get a sample dress. Mine was $1400 reduced to $500 as it was the sample (barely worn, it had an illusion neckline which wasn’t particularly popular at the time). Or, I got my bridesmaid dresses from lightinthebox and they were lovely - we paid the extra for custom measurements which was definitely worthwhile.

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  • Caitlin
    Expert January 2021
    Caitlin ·
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    I would ignore the issue and act like nothing ever happened to avoid resentment or unnecessary drama. I'm sure she meant well, but even if not, don't let it ruin your day. As for the gown, try cocomelody, azazie, jjshouse, hebeos, oncewed, nearlynewlywed, David's bridal, Amazon, Windsor, lulus, fashion nova, or really any prom/bridal boutique. Try looking at bridesmaids dresses as well because some appear to be wedding dresses anyways. I've seen a ton of lovey, and relatively inexpensive, options on each of the sites listed previously. I actually have a beautiful wedding dress listed on poshmark (I know you said other than Poshmark, but figured it might be worth a shot) and it's pretty inexpensive for a brand new dres. So sorry you're experiencing this, especially with the already-complicated events due to COVID, but I wish you the best of luck!!!
    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Master September 2020
    Jessica ·
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    I bought my dress during the national bridal sale event last July, it was a sample dress marked down to $199 from $2500.
    You can find participating boutiques here https://www.nationalbridalsaleevent.com/The downside is it doesn’t start until 7/18, but you’ll walk away with your dress the same day. You may also contact salons about other sample sales. Good luck!
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Coakley
    Master June 2017
    Mrs. Coakley ·
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    Omg she did not get "hustled". The poor grandmother probably didn't think dresses were that expensive and is now trying to scramble for the money to keep her promise. OP don't bring it up again to your grandmother.

    OP, take this as a lesson. Don't expect anything from anyone, even if they offer. Never buy anything when you don't have the money already in your pocket. David's Bridal has some more affordable dresses. I would steer clear of buying one online.

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  • Holly
    Dedicated October 2020
    Holly ·
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    I don't think she knew how expensive wedding dresses can be. Maybe she's going through a hardship you're not aware of. I paid for my own unfortunately with a credit card
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  • Cam
    Beginner October 2020
    Cam ·
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    I got my dress at a family owned bridal shop in my town for less than $300. It was a discontinued line and a sample, so a heavily discounted $1500 dress. Try going to a store like that, if possible, and see what you can try on! There’s definitely options, you may just have to do some digging and not online.
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