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Destination wedding shower

C WONG, on July 13, 2022 at 11:28 AM Posted in Parties and Events 0 9

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My SIL planned a coed wedding shower instead of bridal. But it’s out of town to accommodate the grooms family. She sprung this on us 2 weeks before the date. Looking at cost for flight, car and hotel plus money for food. It’s near $1000 for myself and my young daughter(who can’t be left home alone). My husband already can’t make it due to work. I don’t want to outright say it’s because of money because that’s private & honestly not their business.
How can I decline without mentioning the costs?

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9 Comments

Latest activity by Jacks, on July 15, 2022 at 1:27 AM

Legend July 2022
Lisa · on July 13, 2022 at 11:33 AM
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Just something like, "I'm so sorry, we won't be able to make it! I hope everyone has a great time!" I don't think you need to give a reason.
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Master July 2022
Imani · on July 13, 2022 at 11:58 AM
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I know you said it's not their business, but technically that is the reason you're not able to go. I would just be up front and honest. Due to the cost it's just not something you can afford. It doesn't necessarily tell her you don't have money - its just the cost is too high. Which isn't what you'd expected. You could always use what Lisa said as well and not give an explanation as to why you can't make it. I hope it works out.
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Rosebud · on July 13, 2022 at 12:12 PM
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It is always a bummer when you cannot make a family event (I m guessing you aren't the guests of honor) but especially now it's completely understandable with flight and gas costs. I d say I m sorry we cannot travel right now but please let us now if we zoom or FaceTime in at some point (if thats something you'd enjoy). Best of luck to you!
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C WONG · on July 13, 2022 at 1:23 PM
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Sorry forgot to mention it’s SIL’s wedding. We are part of her bridal party.
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Legend July 2022
Lisa · on July 13, 2022 at 1:27 PM
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Being part of the bridal party doesn't mean you're obligated to attend pre-wedding events, especially if they're out of town. Most of my bridesmaids did not attend my bridal shower, and some didn't attend my bachelorette party either, due to the distance (each of my bridesmaids lives in a different state all around the country). I'm sure your SIL will understand if you can't make it, especially since she gave you very short notice.
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Lady · on July 13, 2022 at 1:28 PM
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No need to give a reason. Just tell her you can't attend but you're excited to see her at the wedding/bach/whatever the next event is.
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Champion November 2054
Jacks · on July 13, 2022 at 7:18 PM
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You're not obligated to do any of this. "It won't be possible to attend but I hope you have an amazing time!". If she asks why just say there are a bunch of reasons, then change the subject. You do not need to disclose your private information to them.
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C WONG · on July 14, 2022 at 12:52 AM
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Thanks all. I told her wasn’t 100% I could make it. Didn’t go well lol but oh well figured as much which is why I asked for help 🤷‍♀️
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