Destination Wedding - Cost Burden on Guests

Tough one. Honestly? Every wedding is a destination wedding for some of the guests. Personally, I wouldn't be comfortable asking my family/friends to do it, but that is really up to your family. They may be thrilled.

You CAN have a sweet little wedding here, in a boutique NYC hotel or B and B. That might be the best of all possible worlds....less money for you, less discomfort at a big event, and a fabulous destination for your guests.

First, CONGRATS!!! Us too are having a DW.

We first mentioned it to his family. My side of the family is pretty easy going & I know my mom wouldn't have a problem. His side, however wanted us to have it in church & yada yada. No. We had to push it a bit with his mother about agreeing on having it at the beach. Word of advice. If you truly want to have DW, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. This is going to be YOUR day and listen to your heart.

But how we bought it up with his parents, all we said "what do you think about having it at the beach?" And see what they say. They might be okay with or NOT. And if they don't agree to explain about how much money that you'll be saving than having it at home. You can also through a simple reception when you get back home. You just need to push them along. Maybe even show them some pictures of how beautiful it'll be.I just want to mention this... We initially had Key West. From the Miami airport and takes a 3 1/2 hour drive to get to Key West.

We had a DW in puerto rico, including 5 days of activities and events etc... we live in NYC... some family here but some in texas, california, florida, spain, france, puerto rico -- point being, the majority of our guests would have had to travel no matter what. we didn't ask opinions beforehand to be honest... we never wanted to get married anywhere else, so we did our save the dates a full year ahead of time, and planned numerous events so that people could make it more of a min-vacation instead of only coming for the wedding. most of our guests were there 5 days, and we had an absolutely amazing perfect time.

it's definitely stressful planning a DW, and there are certainly people that will not be able to come for various reasons... you have to decide what is most important for the two of you, and then plan around that... and hope for the best. ;o)

good luck and congratulations!

If there are people you can't imagine not having at your wedding (sorry for the double negative) make sure first that they can come. We never thought about a DW because some of our closer family members either couldn't afford it or have health issues that keep them from traveling. Once you've considered this on your own, then decide what you're comfortable with / what you want and stand by the decision. I think that's the case with any wedding. You have to decide what's important and stick to it because people will try to sway you with their opinions. I don't think compromise is bad, just not on things that are important to you. Good luck and congrats!

My FH & I are having a destination wedding also. I say it's your day and you should do it how you want it. You might be surprised how many people actually end up attending. Our wedding requires payment for a minimum of 50 people & we thought we were gonna struggle to have that many there. Now it seems like there will be about 60-70. Bottom line your day, your descission. Good luck with the planning. Key West is awesome. Lots of great places to stay and a place that will always be special to me since it's where we got engaged.

If it's important to you that they be there, talk to them.. we're not intentionally having a destination wedding (it's in MA) but we and a lot of our friends will have to travel to be there.. anyway, before we did anything we checked the date and details by our immediate family and bridal party. I know you cant please everyone, but if it's super important to you that they be there, ask them first.

Congrats on your engagement! FH and I were first looking into SC because we have so many memories there. We're from NJ and it would be a 12 hr drive or a super quick flight for our guest. I started talking about the possibility of a destination wedding with my best friend and she told me point black that if we made that decision there would be no way for her to go. She's married and has a 4 year old and just would not be able to afford it. Having everyone I love there out weighed how great I think a SC wedding would be. just keep that in mind when planning. Your family and friends might be able to afford a Keys wedding, but not everyone might be willing to put out the money for it.

We are also having a DW. I'm originally from Boston, he's from Chicago but I'm currently living in Florida finishing school and We decided we want a beach wedding. We did the same thing and sent out save the dates (magnets) recently which is over a year in advance to give everyone plenty of time to save and prepare. I don't think you need to get anyone's approval if it is what you guys want! Just make sure you give enough notice, more than you would a local wedding.

Destination weddings are great if that is what you really want. Like everyone has said, "It's your day." The only thing is you have to be prepared to spend "your day" with very limited guests. Some DW's get everyone on board and have lots of family and friends and others have very small amounts of family and friends. It all depends on your family.

Im having a DW but its my second marriage his first and i just said right away were getting married in savannah. I had my first wedding for my friends and fam and it was beautiful but not me at all and this time i just knew i was gunna do this for me and FH. As long as you and your FH are happy thats all that matters

It depends on what your family's situation is. For me (as long as I knew early enough so I could save and book time off work) I would love going to a DW. It isn't like they are spending that money JUST for your wedding - it's a vacation for them as well.

We didn't even contemplate doing one though, because we really wanted our grandparents there and there was no way they were travelling on plane somewhere.

I don't think it's necessary to clear this decision with your family but you could take a straw pole of the people that are most important to you. One bride I interviewed wanted to have a DW but her best friend couldn't afford the ticket so she paid for the friend's ticket. Even with that cost, she ended up saving a lot of money, overall.

If you do a DW, give people plenty of notice (a year is great) so they have time to plan and save, arrange group discounts such as hotel & travel, arrange in-town travel for the day of your wedding and plan activities for the surrounding days so people can make a vacation out of the trip.

Congrats!

We are having a DW in vegas in June. We're from Texas, but surprisingly our immediate family was excited about the idea. I know certain airlines offer group rates; you should call and ask about that. I know a lot of people we invite will not be able to make it,and if that's ok with you then go for it! For us, we just wanted to make sure our parents and siblings were there, anyone else who joins us will only make it better! Also, we are paying for our parents to alleviate some of the travel expenses for them. Talk to your family, and see what they say. But ultimately, do what's right for you and FH!

Congrats.on your engagement!!

We had a DW and for us it was perfect. I guess we are just super lucky that our family and friends were supportive of what we wanted, and they even got a mini vacay out of it.

My advice is try and pick something all inclusive. Key West is awesome and there are tons of wedding packages you can choose from. With a DW a coordinater will be a life saver. We also used a DW as a good excuse to not have to invite the obligatory fmily you dont really talk to, every co worker, etc.

That was the best decision we made. We got to have dinner with friends, meet up woth guests at the resort pool, it was a blast. My hubs looked at my during dinner at our reception and said "this is exactly what I pictured."

Congrats to you! We are having a cruise ship wedding but its on the ship in the port or Tampa. Guests can choose to sail if they want to but they don't have to. Basically, we cleared the idea with the most important people that we had to have there over a year out, and sent our STD's 11 months out. I also set up a wedding website with all of the information the guests would need and hired a travel agent so everyone would have one main point of contact to book with. She keeps an eye on prices and lets me know when they drop, etc. So far we have 12 guests sailing (we invited 130 people) and I haven't even sent the formal invites yet!

Check out the best destination wedding forums- there's a ton of great ideas / advice there!

Good luck!

IMO a DW is mostly dependant on how much you want certain people there. If you can go into it with the attitude of if so and so can't come it's okay, or be okay with only a handful of people being able to make it than I'd say go for it. If you know that certain people you can't imagine having your wedding without wouldn't be able to make it and you would be less happy without them than I'd say no to a DW.

Our wedding is next year August, it was going to be in Jamaica but I chose not to cause I wanted to see venue etc, anyways I just simply told people and if they wanted to travel they would and if not then they would wait until we come back for the reception.

Congrats! fiance and i decided on a DW wedding after looking at venues and saying

" ....or we could buy a house" over and over again. we didnt discuss it with our parents before hand, looking back- i would have talked it over.

when we sent out our STDs everyone was SO EXCITED....then reality set it and most people were not committing.

in the end we had to change our plans and are back to square one with the expensive venues!

do what you guys want- if the people you care about most are able to attend, and you are happy with your wedding possibly being 10 people including you, do it and dont look back!

We're having a DW, west coast Florida. There are MANY family guests who don't agree with it, including my closest family member, my grandma. However, I'm also paying for her way, since I know she cannot afford it & it is EXTREMELY important for her to be there. Basically, I look at it as if they mean something to you, they will do everything possible to be apart of you big day. Really though, it's only about you & your FH.

Just think about it & weigh your options. You don't want to regret something, especially your own wedding.