Destination Wedding - asking people for money

I'm not really sure how to word this but please keep in mind that this is ONLY my opinion. It is your choice in venue and if it is the venue you love and you can afford it then you need to pay for it. If you can't afford it without asking your friends and family to pay for it then IMHO you should look elsewhere. BUT, you could let them know that it is the venue, there is space available and if they so choose, they could stay there for $70.00 a night. If you are going to so this, I would recommend that you be UPFRONT and HONEST about it when you invite people to stay (not that you weren't going to do that anyway just covering that question should it arrise)

I am having a DW myself so I understand the costs involved for the B&G and their guests. It was difficult for me when our guests decided to attend our wedding because I felt bad about how much it would cost.

Happy planning =) I look forward to hearing about your plans!

IMO I would not ask for money. FH and I are in the exact same boat and while I fell in love with a nicer home for the week we had to pass it up for something more affordable for us.

As for who to invite in the home we asked immediate family first (they said no... Haha) and then wedding party and close friends. Some of our friends said they wanted to get a place of their own anyway. Sometimes the thought of that many people in one place scares some.

Welcome to WW, Holly! Is your venue an actual hotel/inn/B&B? Are guests not able to book rooms themselves? If so, I would just let the immediate family/bridal party know "Here's the place, here's how much, call them/email them to book."

If it's a vacation rental... I'm with tiedaknot. If you can't afford it on your own, look elsewhere. Or if the owner isn't able to make arrangements like what I mentioned above, look elsewhere. Asking people for money in this situation is kind of like asking them to pay for your venue -- I don't think anything good can come of that.

Also, I hope you'll stick around and update your avatar (the rings) to ANY unique picture we can more easily remember when you need help in the future. This post tells you how to do that and more: https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/welcome-to-the-weddingwire-forums-please-read-if-you-are-new/b433c40c1a62b96a.html

Spain is so amazing! We HMd there. I want to go back pretty much every day. What city/region is your wedding?

Re the money - if the venue charges you one blanket rate that includes the wedding AND rooms - I would not give anybody the option to pay you anything at all. If the venue could split out the charges somehow - as in, you pay certain fees to hold the wedding there, then they charge a certain rate per room, if the rooms aren't filled then you pay up the remaining cost - then I think you could just give people the option to stay there as if it was any other hotel. But the way you're describing it, your guests are just paying you. It would kind of be like collecting a cover charge to recoup some cash. It's a weird transaction. I just wouldn't do it. If you can't afford it without asking for cash, I'd find another venue.

Re who stays - I'd extend the offer to family and WP first, then see where you're at and go from there. I think that would make sense to most people.

Hi Holly, congrats and welcome to WW!

I agree with the ladies. Also, with friends and family you may easily run into the problem of them not giving you money. Then you will either end up having to foot the whole bill, or having to ask multiple times. Neither one of those two are good options.

Happy planning!

OK so our orginal venue was similar to this!

We were renting the whole inn (15 rooms) for the whole weekend for $X. The inn handled the reservations for us and we could set the rates for our guests. Then we were credited $X that guest paid to reserve from our cost. However if not all rooms were filled we are responsable for the balance.

We let them know either on an accomadation card in invite or website that they may reserve their room at a discounted rate (50% in our case) on a 1st come 1st serve basis.

I didnt feel as though people were paying for our venue at all, we were cutting them a huge deal because they would be staying down the road at full price. But if you are having to take charge of the reservations and handling the money yourself, I wouldnt do it, you should just not charge at all to avoid conflct and choose your VIPs.

Hello, thanks so much for alll your help, it is very much appreciated. To answer some of your questions above.

The venue is a Masia (country house)in the countryside outside Barcelona, it can only be rented as a whole unit, therefore we will cover the cost then ask family first, then wedding party then friends that we have rooms if they wish to stay and then we will ask them for a similar rate (if not quite a bit less) to a hotel nearby's rates. Fingers crossed everyone gives us the money and there is no family war before the big day!

The other guests we are going to bus in and out on the day, and have a few wedding realted things at the place before we get married and the day after.

Fingers crossed all goes smoothly and I will keep you updated.

If the cost of the whole space is covered in one charge, it doesn't cost you anything at that point to host them. Can you not afford it if people don't pay you to stay? Have you asked the proprietors if they can approach the fee structure as Moria described?

IDK. Unless you're seriously giving people a HUGE deal like Moria said - as in, 50% or less of neighboring hotel costs - if you're handling money, I foresee this getting super weird. That kind of exactly what everybody was saying to avoid...

You're going to do what you want, but as people are already traveling so far for your wedding, I would just offer a free stay to your VIPs and leave it at that.

I am having a DW wedding as well. In my case, I am just letting people know I have a room block reserved for 4 nights. They are all ocean view rooms that comes with an AWESOME rate. Most replays have been, wow I can do that. Just tell your guest about the venue , how much it will cost them and invite them to stay there. Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

Thanks Angela, that has been really helpful. We have decided that we are going to invite immediate family & WP first and offer them either 4 nights or a 7 night stay, then should spaces become available we will offer it out ot others. Fingers crossed all goes to plan.

Good luck with your day as well.