Destination vs. Church

Why not have a destination wedding in a church?

Never thought about it that way. I guess I should have been more specific with the church issue...there's a particular catholic church I've always said I wanted to have the ceremony.

Oh, then that makes a difference. Which do you want more?

FH and I went to a destination wedding in Costa Rica last summer. It was very nice, and we loved the vacation, but it confrimed to us that we wanted a church wedding. I am quite sure the couple thought having their family and friends on their honeymoon was a good idea in theory, but it did not turn out that way.

DWs seem to me (probably cause I don't like to travel and am not looking for an excuse to go to some exotic location) to be more self-centered than most weddings-- asking friends and family to shell out money to travel to some exotic location, usually stay for several days-- it really ups the cost in terms of money and time. Usually with a church wedding *some* family and friends won't have to travel (although someone always has to).

You could a destination in Hawaii in an authentic charming koa chapel and have the best of both...

We all have "I have always dreamed of" category, and then there's reality. Although I never had any particular ideas about my wedding, I did want to be an astronaut, have a farm where I was going to adopt all homeless cats and puppies, and run a chocolate store. Somehow this plan made perfect sense in my head. It has nothing to do with my reality, but I still have a happy, fulfilling life.

I believe the same principle applies to weddings. You've always dreamed about that church, but take that for what it is - a fantasy. Most of the time those fantasies just make the bride's life more difficult because they're limiting options. A dress that a bride has dreamed about looks awful on her, or a family member that is supposed to be fuzzy just isn't. You can have the most fabulous DW ever, because it seems to be the best option for your reality. Or you can allow the old dreams to limit you. It's your choice :-)

Well color me a self centered biatch! I chose a DW wedding because quite frankly, I could care less for anyone other than my children and my FH to be there. It's a second wedding for both of us and I really didn't want the damn guest list drama. We did not ask ANYONE to come to our "self centered affair" because it didn't matter that they be and we didn't want to cost anyone $$$. The funny thing is, people were very sweet about it, probably relieved that they had an out for yet another "bride's dream wedding" LOL

That being said, we are having guests and they are incredibly excited to go to Hawaii on their vacation (they were taking a vacay anyway and this gave them the reason to go to a location they have dreamed of)

You just need to research DW's and follow your heart....my thinking was this...FH really wanted to go to Hawaii for honeymoon so why not have the wedding there also?

Thanks for the input everyone! Mrs S. I believe you helped me put everything into perspective! Thanks a bunch. A DW would honestly be the best option!

I hope so! I really think it's liberating when you start thinking about what your dream wedding is NOW :-)

YAY!!! Now what destination?? =) Hit the travel tab top right of page and on the drop down menu there is a DW tab.....you can do some research there =)

I'm doing a destination wedding. I've never pictured myself having ANY wedding so this is a big step. I've been in many long term relationships, just figured I would always do the independent woman, don't need paper to define this relationship kinda deal. The destination wedding fits me better because it is less tied to conventional expectations.

Destination frees me up to be different. It takes some of the stress off of me for feeling like a loser that I don't have 200 friends and family to fill up a church. Also, for the guests that do attend, I have the chance to really spoil them and make it a super special event... more so than I could do on home turf.

Logistically, also, someone has to travel - his people are West Coast and mine are East Coast... so... we might as well just make everyone hop on something wheeled and winged if they want a part of our snazzy shindig. good luck with your decision!

Thanks!

@tiedaknot I am off to check out the travel tab and will let you all know of possible options! I just really love my dress (hasn't been purchased yet though). Once I knew it was THE ONE I didn't look at anything else. I'm just wondering if it's going to be "too much" for a DW.

@Tiedaknot, you and I are two of the most self-centered people I know! Can we throw a party only for us?

We decided to do a DW b/c we don't want a 500 person wedding, and that's what it would be if we had it where we live now. In addition, my family is scattered all over the US and FH's family is in WI, so everyone would have had to travel anyway. We are also getting married in a church and then having our reception elsewhere.

GL with your decision! Maybe start with your date and make sure the church has it available... and go from there.

I think I will just let go of the idea of the church wedding. I'd rather the DW instead with a super short guest list (preferrably immediate family only).

I'm going to throw this into the mix...

A church wedding doesn't necessarily mean 250+ guests with pomp and circumstance. It could mean 15-20 close friends and family.

DH and I just had a small church wedding, and like tiedaknot, all that mattered was that DH, I and our combined children where then, and at the end of the day we were Mr. and Mrs.

You are right Michele. BUT if I were to go with the church wedding, then there would be no way of avoiding inviting more people than I'd care to have. I am loving the idea of the DW. Leaning towards Jamaica.

@Crystal...Jamaica...very cost friendly and beautiful from what I hear =) Congrats and please keep us posted

@Lizz M...I know right? A BIG A$$ Sweet Self Centered party with all the bling a princess bride can stand!!!!

For me it is simple. Church wedding.

I am getting married in my church that I was baptized in, made my first holy communion attended every Sunday Christmas and Easter. That my Dad was married in, my aunts, my grandparents, my great-aunt, great-great grandparents. It means the world to me.

I am so incredibly happy with my decision to have a destination wedding. A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. We are having the ceremony on the beach in Florida, so it is a little more accessible than outside the U.S. Planning it was super easy, because I am using a beach wedding company (photos, officiant, music, decorations, flowers) and probably having the reception at a restaurant or hiring a caterer to serve at our beach house rental. After the wedding we are having an open house at my parents house for everyone to meet and view wedding pictures. That way people that couldn't make it can still celebrate with us.

I too was concerned with my wedding dress (purchased it before deciding on a DW), but I have seen plenty of destination brides wearing their big ballgown dresses on the beach. Just remember to have it hemmed for barefeet if you're having it on the beach.