Destination changing mind

To do a vineyard wedding back at home! Depending on the cost with guest list about 50! Is it to late to change my mind? Wedding will be next year in June 2022, however with covid and the heat in ny I can extend it to to September.

Did you're save the dates have location on them? If not then they will never know. This is probably the main reason save the dates shouldn't be sent out before 9-12 months. 😬

View Quoted Comment Yes 😖😖😖 it had the location on ! Yikes

View Quoted Comment Well since it is so early and you are SET on a change of venue then I'd send out new save the dates. It's super earlier to send them out, but give your circumstances it should be okay. I'm sure people will rather a local than destination wedding.

View Quoted Comment I wish I would have waited more time to sent those save the dates! I just feel like the guest are going to think I’m crazy 😢😢😢😢!

View Quoted Comment Why did you send them out so early? Are you going to lose the deposit on the venue from your destination wedding? Or is it refundable?

I was pressured to send them out early due to cost of the venue /resort where my guest would stay. It would be so costly for them .....so I thought giving them sufficiently amount of time to get their funds in act will be better but turns out that my future Mother in law feels like no one would stay at the resort due to cost and the resort has this rule of 50 percent of the wedding guest list have to stay in the resort ! And she thinks it’s not possible and you know what’s funny she was the main one to told me to book this venue and it turns out she’s one of the guest that won’t stay in the resort smh!!!! I booked made deposit now I canceled, luckily I’m getting my full refund in 30 days . I’m pissed the fudge off because now I looked for a wedding planner at that same island and I’m choosing the cocktail food at this new venue that’s within my budget (last resort was giving me a lot more perks ) and she wants me to choose a certain cocktail food and really expensive entrees ! I told her well I’m going according to my budget and what I have in the bank and she tried to say oh but we are going to help a little but I’m the type of person that if you not offering to me now I gotta work with what Me and my fiancé have .she pretty much dodge what I said and stated she wouldn’t want me to look bad that if I do something I gotta do it right! Now I feel overwhelmed and fudge it everything at this point I want to do it at home. Sorry for going off!

Well if you are in NY and the vineyards are close by it will definitely be a money saver. I’m not sure which vineyards you are looking at but make sure you give your guests about 9-12 months notice. I know the Hotels near Long Island vineyards typically require a 2 night stay in on season months but there are hotels that don’t. Book the block early .

View Quoted Comment Hey Lauren . And yes I actually live on Long Island and eastern Long Island is about an hour drive from where I live ! I really feel like I will save a lot of money because my fiancé knows photographers and djs that can help with smaller fees that what the destination vendors are charging hot damn!! I thought it would be a little cheaper!

View Quoted Comment I’m Long Island too! Some of the vineyards have crazy fees. Vineyards at abequogue is more affordable. Giorgios isn’t a vineyard but is nearby. I have been to a wedding at Duck Walk which was very nice.


The Hilton Garden Inn in Riverhead works for hotel and are easy to work with.

View Quoted Comment Oh nice Lauren!! I was doing my wedding at Nassau Bahamas but honestly I’m having second thoughts!!! I’m so overwhelmed! My wedding will be very intimate the most 50 guest! I don’t want to spend so much money on a wedding and eastern Long Island is beautiful like why am I thinking of going somewhere else lol! My fiancé theory was oh if it’s a destination wedding we would have an exact amount of people that will attend rather than doing it in NY people have a tendency to tag along if you get what I mean! Are you looking to do vineyard too? So happy for you !!!!

View Quoted Comment No vineyards for me. We are doing Flowerfield in St. James. Actually the atrium has a tropical vibe that feels like a destination wedding. You’ll find something that’s perfect for what you want. Good luck! Let us all know how it turns out

View Quoted Comment Aww I love that for you!! Best of luck and Thanks so much for your suggestions!! ☺️

View Quoted Comment Stand by the rule, unless she's paying her opinion does not matter. I mean you can listen to it, but by all means do whatever you want.


And I saw your comment on another post about the DW post. My brother and his now wife were planning on a Destination wedding that required most guest to stay at the resort. So they were going to pay for the immediate family, which would be enough. But then COViD hit and they eloped! Both were so relieved.

View Quoted Comment Yes it’s true I need to really sit back and think! And they were lucky!!! I wish I would have just eloped but my fiancé feels like he needs his family there and to be honest I would have been okay with eloping LOL