Dessert Dilemma

Wedding cakes get a bad rep so I can understand your reservations. I personally tried 5-6 bakers before I was content because I myself bake and have very high standards when it comes to cake. Personally, if looking to handheld desserts, I would prefer a cookie over a cupcake. Unless it is a teeny tiny cupcake, they can be a bit awkwardly messy to eat (compared to a slice of cake with a fork) and I hate the idea of messy food when dressed up!

I will say this, as a guest, I expect cake because I have traditionally associated cake with dessert, but it has to be a good cake! Honestly I tried like 40 different samples of cake before I found my baker who is incredible (best tasting cakes and surprisingly the cheapest). I do however think guest expectations will vary on what type of wedding you are having. We are having a black tie wedding so we will be serving plated desserts (think fancy French dessert lol) and wedding cake on top of that, because it is on par with the feel of our wedding. If is a more casual affair, I’d be content with a cookie alone, but if it is a more formal sit-down dinner, I would expect more than just a cookie for dessert.

As long as there is something *chocolate* I'm happy.

I also love cake - ours was great! But our venue also provided a dessert bar as part of our menu, so people had a lot of options.

If you like cake, get cake.

My FH is not a cake person (we have ice cream cake for his birthday). We plan to have a small cake but also our venue offers a dessert buffet which can go towards our F&B min. It has nice handheld treats: chocolate and white chocolate cups filled with assorted mousse flavors, cannoli, small pastry shells filled with seasonal flavors and toppings and assorted cheesecake bites

What is your favorite dessert? I've been pondering this same topic for some time as well because FH and I are not cake people. I love most other sweets while FH is not a dessert person at all but he LOVES crème brûlée. So we are thinking we'll skip the cake, serve everyone adorable mini crème brûlées, and do a "pouring a champagne fountain" picture in lieu of a "cutting the cake" picture.

I think it's a cute and personal touch to serve everyone a mini version of whatever your favorite dessert is! I do tend to agree though that if the B&G have cake then everyone should have cake, or forgo cake entirely for something else. If you do get your own cake, maybe make it a special private moment between the two of you to take a 15 minute break while people are still finishing dinner. I've heard that can be nice sometimes, to take a brief breather.

There's simply no dessert that will please EVERYONE, nor should you try to do that as a party host (it's just not practical to poll all of your guests ahead of time and then serve everyone's favorites). Cake is still "traditional" in some cultures and regions, so some guests will expect it. But that doesn't mean you have to serve cake. People serving alternatives to cake at weddings has gotten more and more popular lately, which can lead to the conclusion that no one likes cake any more, but I don't think that's true.

So, where does that leave you? I think the requirements are simply this: serve enough dessert after the meal so that every guest can have some. Offer the same choices to everyone present. Pick something you and your future spouse both like that suits the occasion and your budget. The end.

It's rude to have a cake cutting (no matter how small) but not serve cake to your guests. Either have the cake cutting and serve cake, or omit the cake cutting and serve something else. As long as you provide a dessert, you're good. But for the love of god don't have a cake cutting if you don't plan on serving cake to your guests! But to answer your original question: as a guest, I would HIGHLY prefer cake over cookies.